I am a princess...

(51 Posts)

My 2.5 yo came out with this in the bath. Where did she get it from? She doesn't have older sisters (or brothers), the only TV is monitored by DH or me, all the people around her in the family identify as feminists. Is it leaking through the walls? She does have one 2.5 yo girl friend who does like this kind of thing but we don't spend that much time there and I didn't see any indoctrination while we were there the other day. Her other little friends are boys and not noticeably princess fans.

I'm being light but it actually threw me. Is a princess stage inevitable with all the pink, sparkly crap around? Will she stop pretending to be a T-Rex and want to be a princess? Is it actually right to encourage her because it is something she chooses? Should I stop worrying because it actually doesn't mean anything?

BTW we don't live in the UK so there is no new royal baby shite around here.

I'm afraid I let the side down horribly today, while shopping for clothes with DS. He is 8 and he is going to a wedding with his dad on Saturday, so we were hunting for a 'smart shirt' as he has outgrown his last good shirt. All of a sudden he started saying he wanted a dress, a wig and lipstick and to go 'disguised as a girl.'
And I talked him out of it on the grounds that it was someone else's special day and part of 'being good' was dressing in suitable clothes, and that he could have a dress and a wig another time.... and then felt guilty about not letting him 'be himself.'

WhentheRed Thu 15-Aug-13 22:04:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prissyenglisharriviste Fri 16-Aug-13 14:46:00

I am in Canada. We're in the same fb quiche ;-)
I'm just still locked out of my original username as a I de-reg too much. <sigh> Tis madwoman.
My mil just fractured her pelvis doing an Andy Murray impression... ;-)

QueenStromba Mon 19-Aug-13 22:13:35

The only princess I remember wanting to be as a kid was She Ra because she had an awesome sword and a flying horse.

WeAreSeven Mon 19-Aug-13 22:24:59

When I was nine, I was always imagining in class that I was a princess. It was mainly because I was a terrible bookworm and had already read all the books we were learning from so I think I was really bored.

In my princess life, for formal occasions, I would have a long golden dress, a red cloak and a golden crown with rubies in it. I would also have a long sceptre thing in one hand.

On less formal occasions, I would have a long pink satin dress, wear my long golden hair in two swiss-style plaits with a pink satin ribbon on the end of each plait.

At ten, my new teacher terrified me out of daydreaming!

GoshAnneGorilla Tue 20-Aug-13 01:48:00

I think Freya has a very good point.

If you haven't seen them already, Sarah Maple's reimaginings of the Disney Princesses are great and Disney should take note:
sarahmapleart.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/disney-princesses.html

Hello madwoman <waves>. In which case I would love your copy of the book. Shall I pm you are should I do it though the quiche?

Ouch to poor MIL.

FourGates Tue 20-Aug-13 22:12:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FourGates Tue 20-Aug-13 22:29:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My nearly 3 yo DD likes the idea of princesses glitter and all things pink. However I don't think anyone could ever persuade her to be passive. I think her indoctrination is from nursery and TV. My main objection to the idea of being a princess is that they basically seem to arse about doing sweet FA, which must be a pretty boring and vacuous existance.

QueenStromba Tue 20-Aug-13 23:02:36

Good on your FourGates. There are too many parents these days who would have responded with "OK, lets get your hair cut and start calling you Simon" and then signed her up for puberty blockers.

FamiliesShareGerms Tue 20-Aug-13 23:11:30

DS (nearly 8) never wanted to be a princess or wear pink.

DD (3) wants to be a princess when she grows up and loves pink and glitter. I find it really hard to deal with, TBH, never having been a girly girl myself. The worst bit is that she knows the only way she can become a princess is through marrying a prince, rather than working to become eg a doctor

brdgrl Tue 20-Aug-13 23:17:49

I have wondered the same thing, MrsPratchett. DD started coming out with this crap about pink being for girls etc, before she'd ever had any exposure to the TV programmes, going to nursery, or even spending much time with other little kids. DH and I could not for the life of us figure out where it was coming from. (And yes, I think the princessification of little girls is a problem.)

Since then she's had more obvious exposure to it, and we talk about things being for both boys and girls. She has a male cousin who dresses as a girl, so I am pleased when she gets to see that that is treated as natural by the whole family.

Another good book is Olivia and the Fairy Princesses!

FourGates Wed 21-Aug-13 07:32:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerrenaHarridan Wed 21-Aug-13 09:44:10

* unashamedly marks place smile

We have a breakthrough. "Superhero" is the new buzzword. I'm sewing capes today. <worries about sewing with feminist credentials> They can run, fly and have interesting back stories. I am a bit hmm about this kind of thing but she is currently not watching the Avengers so I have a few years yet.

FreyaSnow Wed 21-Aug-13 13:18:03

Fourgates, indeed. This one perhaps:

cakesdecor.com/cakes/49674

yellowballoons Wed 21-Aug-13 13:30:47

Tell her princesses have to work until they die.
See if she still wants ot be one.

Freya that is DD's 3rd birthday cake now grin

yellow I once told (to my eternal shame) a friend's DD that she didn't want to be a real princess because real princesses came to bad ends (after Diana's death) blush Bad, Bad MrsTerry.

It is tough sometimes I think, and I feel I sometimes have to overcompensate the other way as the rest of the world pulls DD towards princessy pink shit. At the moment, DD who is 3 and a half, seems to still like a good mix of things. The other week she went out as princess superman (superman outfit matched with tiara) and a fairy pirate (pirate costume matched with wand). Her two favourite outfits are Spider-Man followed by fairy dress. I fear it is still all to come though with some of the things that she says sometimes. Luckily DH is great, often wears pink shirts to work and points out that he wears pink and I wear blue very often!

crumpledinside Wed 21-Aug-13 20:51:33

My 2yo dd said yesterday that she wanted to be a princess. And I replied "no, don't be a stinky princess, be a doctor like the girl in Zog".

At which 7yo ds said "don't you mean a nurse?"

Somehow, somewhere, he had got the notion that doctors are male and nurses female. Despite having a female GP.

Where do they get this stuff from?

When I was a little girl in the late 70s, all of us girls wanted to be Wonder Woman or Princess Leia. Princesses were boring. Those were the days.

whatdoesittake48 Thu 22-Aug-13 15:50:00

crumpled - my son came out with similar as a child. he had the notion that women were nurses, but that they did the same job as a doctor. just with a different name.

he thought our doctor was a "nurse" and that it was just the female name for that profession.

Soon put him right on that one. if he wants to wind me up these days (as a big 14 YO) he tells me that "ladies" can't be doctors...

BlazinStoke Thu 29-Aug-13 08:29:04

The problem with princesses for me is that in traditional nursery tales and in the Disney model they are always the property of a man and derive all their supposed power from that man - their power is actually the gift from the male and can be withdrawn at any time if they don't behave in a way that has male approval.
They start off being daddy's girl (the king) and the only opportunity for development is to get married off to a prince - the prettier and more compliant they are the greater the chance of achieving this goal. The biological mother is always absent - at best there will be a wicked step-mother who as another female is a rival to the princess, not a support.
Why would anyone want to be a princess, or want it for their daughter?

OctopusPete8 Thu 29-Aug-13 08:40:40

She's 2 FGS lighten up, in the nicest way possible she will pick up on your disapproval even at her young age and make her feel bad for just partaking in childish silliness.

If she still wants to be a princess in her teen years then I would be concerned.

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