I agree with her.
When I was with my ex, it was so much easier to be a feminist as I knew I had a good guy. It's only when you put yourself out there again that you realise that it's a very small percentage of men who are truly supportive of the idea of equality. Without that support, a relationship is slowly eroded away because the woman always ends up compromising. It might be over earning more, having children, child raising, supporting elderly parents, whatever but ultimately it comes down to women generally having to make sacrifices than we simply don't expect of men.
As for being at the start of a new relationship, well, I find it increasingly difficult to settle for a life with someone who simply doesn't understand equality. There are many many good men out there who think they understand, who think that they put it into practice but it's so damn difficult for them to go against everything that society expects of them. Rape culture wasn't something that I had truly considered before from a man's perspective but look at how heated conversations on here get about women shaving their legs. Women get so wound up about having it pointing out about social conditioning and we sympathise when they don't go against the grain. I've only just come to realise that men have the same difficulty. The Stubenville assault showed that there was one lone male voice pointing out to the others that what they were doing was wrong. Rape culture results in peer pressure for young boys and men to act as pricks. It's all very well condemning them for their behaviour but look at the messages that they get from living in a rape culture.
That might sound all a bit " what about the menz" but from the perspective of a single woman, you begin to realise that one of the last taboos is to recognise that the majority of men are so deeply ingrained with living in a rape culture that even the majority of the good guys are only paying lip service to equality. That even the good guys are only a misjudgement away from carrying out sexual assault or rape. If they never have their consciousness raised, why would they even think about it because it's really uncomfortable to have a mirror held up to you.
Being a feminist means it's kind of hard not to be the mirror on the first date and who wants to deal with that kind of level of self analysis ? Much easier to go for someone more compliant and so the cycle continues again.
And I'm lucky. I get to run my own business, I get to put equality into my workplace that is real and genuine but good god, the crap I take from colleagues, peers, clients etc and you realise that a huge tract of so called equality is really only lip service. A lot of people don't really get it but will go along with it for a quiet life.
It would be easier on the one hand to remain single and rely on the lovely wonderful men currently in my life for male companionship but even that is fraught with judgement. So many girlfriends have pointed out that men don't like women who are high achievers, who are the boss, who are committed to their work and all expect that secretly I would give it up in a heartbeat to be swept off my feet by the right man and that for him, I would give it all up. They don't seem to get that the right man is one who wouldn't expect that of me, nor would he ask it but I'm happy to wait for him. If he doesn't come along, I have a happy, fulfilled life in the meantime. Feminism has given me the courage to say that I expect a loving partner to add to my life, not to detract from it and if I don't find that person, then I haven't lost anything.
But if having a relationship means having to compromise or give up on feminism, it simply isn't going to happen. I don't know when or how it became that important but it is. Because women matter.