If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

(106 Posts)
kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 00:05:46

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

ithaka Thu 15-Aug-13 09:24:01

Trust your instincts. Just that - it is my biggest regret that I didn't.

DontActuallyLikePrunes Thu 15-Aug-13 09:22:28

That however strong you think you are, if you let your guard down, society is organised so that you as a female will be worse off. Be hyper-aware of this at all times and from as early an age as you can be.

How many younger women think the big battles have been won...it's lovely to stay at home for a few years while the little ones are little...It'll be fun to have a little job that fits around DH's Far More Important job...etc.

AllDirections Thu 15-Aug-13 09:20:19

You can say no to anyone at any time about anything (well almost) and generally without explanation.

Peachyjustpeachy Thu 15-Aug-13 09:19:46

Don't start trouble,but always finish it.

This is in relation to bullying specifically....but works well in other situations.

CiscoKid Thu 15-Aug-13 09:06:23

Do not believe in any -isms hook, line and sinker. You should understand the issue before you leap to an answer. Think for yourself.

exoticfruits Thu 15-Aug-13 07:44:36

Mine would be don't marry and have children early!

mirai Thu 15-Aug-13 04:27:35

soundevenfruity: Marry and have children early.

Sounds good but it's not always as simple as that is it!!

mirai Thu 15-Aug-13 04:26:09

Don't worry about the people who don't turn up to your parties (/wedding). Don't give them a second thought! Instead just focus on the friends who did turn up and make sure they have a good time.

So true, probably the only piece of useful advice my mum has ever given me!

coffeenow are you my DM?

I was going to give the advice of my DM, "your body is the only thing that really belongs to you. You get to make all the decisions about it."

And my DF's, "so, if any man touches you without permission or bullies you physically, kick him really hard in the bollocks."

Kiwiinkits Thu 15-Aug-13 03:15:31

Would give the same advice to my sons, if I had them.
Advice that would be particular to my DD's would include telling them that their body is a fantastic piece of marvellous machinery that allows them to do all of the things they ever dream of doing. Respect your body but your body doesn't define your worth - it is a tool for you to use to define your worth doing COOL STUFF.

Kiwiinkits Thu 15-Aug-13 03:12:50

Was just about to write exactly what Dervel just wrote. Pay attention to people's actions, their words mean diddly squat. And, my dad's advice, "Don't do anything you wouldn't be happy to have splashed across the front page of the paper" (basically, keep your dignity and your integrity).

soundevenfruity Thu 15-Aug-13 02:38:23

Marry and have children early.

Dervel Thu 15-Aug-13 02:24:06

If you want to know wether a man is right for you just do this: Ignore utterly what he says, but pay every attention to what he does. A man's true nature is shown in his actions more than his words.

CaptChaos Wed 14-Aug-13 11:57:10

I don't have a DD, but I would tell my DS's and my DN's to remember that love is not a finite resource and that it should be classed as a verb as well as a noun. Love for your fellow person, love for the planet and love for yourself should be bottomless and active.

I believe that from such love comes respect, and following on from respect comes everything else.

I am a bit sappy like that hmm

Remotecontrolduck Wed 14-Aug-13 10:20:18

Do what truly makes you happy, and don't worry what other people think. Most likely they're not thinking anything at all, and the few that are, aren't worth your time!

Lesley1980 Wed 14-Aug-13 10:10:57

'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard'

Women can talk over & down to other women too. Surely it should be never let anyone talk over/down to you.

Blistory Sun 11-Aug-13 15:52:57

Don't engage with trolls, either in real life or online.

How I wish my mother had taught me that one.

BasilBabyEater Sun 11-Aug-13 15:50:46

It's OK to be single. In fact, it's probably better. grin

Loopytiles Sun 11-Aug-13 13:44:12

At this moment (dd small), mine would definitely be around relationships, as I and many of the women I know have struggled, staying with boys/men who were not treating them well for far too long.

Wanting dd to treat others well is a given, so wouldn't need to say it. I'd want to say something to counteract the pressure to put men first, work at it rather than leave.

Some kind of combination of annielobesder's - don't be the one making much more effort and sacrifices - in any relationship. if you're unhappy or the way someone is treating you in a way you (or close friends or family) think is bad, leaving is probably best, and the oklahoma and walks like a duck ones!

Also agree with the one about being responsible for yourself (and not others, DC excepted!)

Tabby1963 Sat 10-Aug-13 18:41:55

don't diet, it will make you fat and food obsessed.

Coffeenowplease Fri 09-Aug-13 21:16:27

Your body is yours. No one can touch it without your permission. Not a doctor, not a priest, not your boyfriend, not a police officer no one.Ever.

blueshoes Fri 09-Aug-13 13:30:47

Agree, Lainie.

If you are in your thirties and want children, don't waste time on men who are not ready. Just leave and find a new (better, more committed) one. Plenty of fish in the sea.

lainiekazan Fri 09-Aug-13 13:25:22

Don't leave it too late to have children. If a man says he's not ready, you can be quite certain that he'll be ready the minute he dumps you for someone with ovaries ten years younger. (Not me, but this has happened to numerous women I know.)

LeBFG Fri 09-Aug-13 13:12:03

Stand up and be counted.

The world is full of shits that you have to learn to manage.

Learn to listen to your own inner voice and trust what it says.

Other stuff too, I can't think of at the moment

AlpacaLunchYoubringyourbooster Fri 09-Aug-13 07:57:20

You cannot change others, you can only change yourself

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