If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

(106 Posts)
kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 00:05:46

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

rubyrubyruby Thu 08-Aug-13 06:33:54

Strange that this question is in feminist topic.

If never occurred to me to put anything telating to a man until I read the responses.

Ironic

Isthisoneleft Thu 08-Aug-13 06:44:02

You will never make everyone else happy so ensure that what you do makes you happy.

solveproblem Thu 08-Aug-13 06:49:08

Always be nice to people, but don't take shit.

chickydoo Thu 08-Aug-13 07:04:14

Love yourself! You have one life, take it by the horns and live it to the full. Do what you want to do, be who you want to be.
When you are old and look back on your life you can think " Wow! I did that, and loved it!"

TheYoniWayIsUp Thu 08-Aug-13 09:00:41

Take a chance on a good guy.

PearlyWhites Thu 08-Aug-13 09:02:43

There is great value in being a mother and running a home.

colditz Thu 08-Aug-13 09:03:37

If something makes you happy, do it, even if some men think it makes you <<gasp>> unattractive.

RippingYarns Thu 08-Aug-13 09:08:30

I'm baffled why so many responses are about relationships, personal appearance and their own children.

Would you say those things to your sons?

scallopsrgreat Thu 08-Aug-13 09:10:29

I don't think it is strange at all that the responses are about women's relationships to men. Men oppress us. Seems sensible to give advice with regards trying to live or overcome that oppression.

RippingYarns Thu 08-Aug-13 09:12:28

But on the advice front, bit difficult as DD has SN in an area that where women/girls are not easily recognised/supported. Not sure if she's going to able to live independently but my advice is if you smell bullshit, check it out.

colditz Thu 08-Aug-13 09:41:07

I do say those things to my sons.

RippingYarns Thu 08-Aug-13 09:56:32

Cold smile I bet lots of other people don't

Be financially independent, get a good education and career so that you can carry youself and your own children/animals/home whatever independently. (wishes own mother had told me this when I was young)

Caster8 Thu 08-Aug-13 10:24:24

That all people have to earn your trust.

Ulysses Thu 08-Aug-13 10:26:07

Sort out your finances. Would say the same for a son too.

post Thu 08-Aug-13 10:48:15

Nothing is more important than your happiness.

blueshoes Thu 08-Aug-13 10:49:23

"Never rely on one man financially", closely linked to "don't put yourself in a position where you and your children have to take shit from a man just because you have no options".

post Thu 08-Aug-13 10:49:43

And that's EXACTLY what I say to my sons, my sisters, my husband, myself smile

blueshoes Thu 08-Aug-13 10:51:47

I would only say mine to my daughter. My advice is gender-specific.

Pagwatch Thu 08-Aug-13 10:51:50

Find the thing you love. Then try and find a way to make it pay you a salary.
Getting up each day to do something you love is the secret of happiness.

But that's for all my dc.

Pagwatch Thu 08-Aug-13 10:53:40

(pedantic note - 'if anyone ever touches you in a way you don't like, scream etc etc' massively misunderstands grooming)

MumnGran Thu 08-Aug-13 10:54:42

Darliing DD's .... if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck ....its always going to be a duck. Whatever you do.

Pagwatch Thu 08-Aug-13 10:58:14

God yes to duck quackiness.

Never be a martyr to anyone. Compromise, sure, but don't ever be the one making all the sacrifices in any relationship - with friends, partner or children. Believe absolutely in your self-worth and your right to be just as happy and fulfilled as your partner/children.

I would say similar to my sons - about belief in their self-worth, but men are rarely called upon to be martyrs to their families, so I would probably leave that out. I would instead tell my sons to not believe that they have to live up to any artificial masculine ideal - that they are men no matter how they act/dress or if they respond emotionally and any true friend or partner would love them more, not less for being their own version of a man.

In short, in both cases it's about not letting societal ideals/pressures of what women/men should be or do dictate their lives and relationships.

runningonwillpower Thu 08-Aug-13 11:00:02

When I saw the thread, I was thinking along the lines of 'never wear two tarty garments at the same time'.

I shall go away and think more deeply.

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