Seriously?

(64 Posts)
suchawimp Sat 20-Jul-13 16:05:45

There are actual websites called things like Ladies Against Feminism and Raising Homemakers? And people read them! Lots of people apparently as Raising Homemakers has 20 thousand likes on Facebook.

suchawimp Sat 27-Jul-13 13:19:20

Maybe that is it - people in the UK just don't talk about it.

Only seen 2 UK blogs though out of all the ones I have seen linked up on the raising homemakers site.

NiceTabard Thu 25-Jul-13 21:17:54

I wouldn't be so sure that it's not at all common in the UK.

In the US it is quite normal for people to talk about their religious beliefs, and to be very enthusiastic and open and loud and proud about whatever it is they are doing.

Over here religion is considered generally to be a much more personal thing and also people tend to be more reticent about what they are up to.

Like I say there are two local religious communities who follow this stuff but they keep themselves to themselves and so people don't have to think about what is going on with them IYSWIM.

So while it might present differently here it's still going on, and with a variety of faiths.

SconeRhymesWithGone Thu 25-Jul-13 21:12:30

MamaMary Yes, I am American and in the States.

ballroompink Thu 25-Jul-13 20:32:57

Not at all common in the UK at that level thankfully. Obviously there are plenty of Christian women over here who would identify with some of the stuff posted on those blogs but blogs like Ladies Against Feminism are the work of fundamentalists and extremely conservative, almost cult-like groups of churches. They teach a total distortion of gender roles; even a lot of conservative Christians wouldn't agree with much of it.

MamaMary Thu 25-Jul-13 19:59:49

Interesting, Scone; are you in the States?

SconeRhymesWithGone Thu 25-Jul-13 16:15:36

I just want to point out that this level of separation and hyper-glorification of the woman-at-home is still considered very extreme in the States. The problem, though, is that Christian fundamentalism exists on a spectrum, and at its other end, there are elements that espouse less radical, and therefore more palatable, anti-feminist doctrines that find their way into political discourse on a regular basis. Much of the current “war on women” in the US is fueled by more mainstream religious conservatism. And I fear that the appeal of the more extreme views may make further inroads through social media, the internet, and television (the Duggars.)

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 25-Jul-13 14:59:47

shock at the stay-at-home-daughter.

"Washing the dishes and prepping the kitchen is usually my first stop, truly my favorite household ritual." I hope you are all reading this and learning from it. The first one who volunteers to do my dishes now (having made a pile of pecan and chocolate bread sticks) gets 10 brownie points. grin

<< still trying to figure out what home-making skill (apart from motivation) I'm lacking since I didn't spend all my life studying it... >>

NiceTabard Wed 24-Jul-13 21:13:49

I think this is just a modern take on religious fundamentism isn't it?

Like I say, our neighbours do this (christian).

I also live in a part of London which has some closed religious communities (of various flavours) and I am sure that this is the score there.

In the UK it is going on but maybe not always from the same source (christian) and not so vocally.

suchawimp Wed 24-Jul-13 17:44:27

I was wondering what life was like for a daughter in these families. Must be tough with all the rules and looking after young children no moaning on the blogs though.

Day in the life of a Stay At Home Daughter post http://raisinghomemakers.com/2011/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-stay-at-home-daughter/ all seems very quaint.

also a post about being single and i suppose old in the movement http://home-keepinghearts.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/single-and-27.html

Is early marriage encouraged?

NeedlesCuties Tue 23-Jul-13 08:37:49

I think in USA there's a lot more of an acceptance on home-education, sending kids to huge churches which are more like small villages and then sending them to Christian universities.

Here in the UK, the churches are smaller, women work and want to work, and there isn't the same conservative slant on staying home.

By that I mean: a sizeable amount of women here stay home with kids, but that's to save money and to bring up kids. It isn't as some sort of 'keep away from the world' self-preservation as it seems to be on those blogs.

suchawimp Mon 22-Jul-13 19:50:46

Do you think it could spread?

I could imagine it getting popular in some super conservative groups where this is another step more strict for them but can't picture large numbers following it.

Stay at home daughter blogs are my new fascination!

MamaMary Mon 22-Jul-13 19:35:54

No, I don't think this is at all common in England. I am au fait with evangelical and conservative circles and it is not the norm. My fear and concern is that it will spread here from the States, though.

suchawimp Mon 22-Jul-13 19:01:38

Is it common and popular in England then?

New post on the raising homemakers blog raisinghomemakers.com/2013/bring-it-on-home/

"Home is a natural greenhouse for feminine industry, a place for women to thrive in business and still embrace the calling of home life. Blisters are still made. Struggle and toil still happen and hearts are still broken. Income is still earned and bills still paid. But the rewards are unfathomably greater and the success sweeter.

The women here don’t have time for meaningless gossip and water cooler chats, because they have a foundation of purpose and a far reaching vision. They are more than just wage slaves, they have the freedom to take risk."

NeedlesCuties Sun 21-Jul-13 21:23:53

I'm a Christian, and I am a SAHM. My DH is training to become a Minister.

I do want the best for my household - want washing done, nice food cooked, kids to do worthwhile activities etc. But, it isn't out of some sort of desire to please my DH, but for the good for all of us. We're a team, an equal team who play to our strengths.

I have read lots of those blogs, and am boggled at some of what I read. One of the worst said that it's a good thing to teach DD's to do house chores, but to not teach DS's to do chores as once they are adults they'll have wives to do that. shock I don't agree at all!

I do have my own blog (PM if you'd like the address), but really there is a bit about my Christian faith and a lot about my descent into PND and my superb musical tastes of Meatloaf, Metallica and Ani Di Franco grin

LRDYaDumayuIThink Sun 21-Jul-13 19:38:46

scallops I'm absolutely certain there is a bucket load of cognitive dissonance going on. sad

suchawimp Sun 21-Jul-13 19:22:50

It just seems like a quaint idea ..... in theory!

The homekeepers heart one is English which was a shocka - thought this was an american thing tbh. All charity stuff and gardens and a book called sacred singleness.

The women living well one is a big glossy looking site - lots of stay away from worldliness and 50s housewife stuff.

scallopsrgreat Sun 21-Jul-13 19:19:17

"But I like being unkempt, it's one of the best bits of being a SAHP." That made me lol grin I must agree. One of the joys of being on maternity leave was that no one gave a toss what you looked like.

I agree LRD and hope these women are happy. I can't help but feel that there are bucket loads of cognitive dissonance going on.

kooksi Sun 21-Jul-13 19:18:36

Raising homemakers is very important, I make my kids do housework everyday .. they're all boys though, that site is extremely sexist!

YoniBottsBumgina Sun 21-Jul-13 19:17:55

The idea of women as "the servant of all" ... nice. Really nice.

Thurlow Sun 21-Jul-13 19:12:25

God, Rhonda, that blog's unbelievably depressing sad

NiceTabard Sun 21-Jul-13 19:09:57

The blog linked at the top said that women as well as doing the home-maker role, had to do it while looking well presented and smiling.

So given that, it's pretty impossible to tell, I think.

LRDYaDumayuIThink Sun 21-Jul-13 18:52:53

I would like to think (at least) that these women were happy too.

And obviously some of them may be. But I know a woman who is now a writer of one of these blogs - she's not especially explicit about being anti-feminist, but she is very keen to insist that women are different from men and get the most out of being perfect, devoted wives. It is perfectly obvious she isn't happy, and I worry about her a lot.

There is nothing at all wrong with enjoying homemaking or bringing up your children or whatever. There is a huge amount wrong with feeling as if your entire sense of self-worth depends on you moulding yourself into a person who lives to look after your husband and your children (in that order).

suchawimp Sun 21-Jul-13 18:30:19

I wonder if they are happy. It all sounds a bit odd to me but they might really love their roles and what they do.

The blogs just seem so happy all the time. I know it is probably just not showing the bad stuff but I could be kinda jealous if I thought about it. It must be comforting to have total faith and to have a set role.

RhondaJean Brazil Sun 21-Jul-13 08:24:47

This sounds like the shite I was brought up with.

And although DH is possibly more of a feminist than me, having been raised by a single mother, I still find it hard to let go of the guilt of not living up to the ideals, like if the house is messy I take it as MY failing. I'm working hard on it!

I'm 36 btw with a reasonably well paying career and several degrees under my belt. It's just if you get that engrained into you as a child, you live with it forever.

And I present this monstrosity for your reading:

vionnaswatching.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/capable-wife/

Poor Lydia.

suchawimp Sun 21-Jul-13 08:16:02

Still digging around on the blogs -

home-keepinghearts.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/fascinating-girl.html

This sounds like a scary book ..... Domestic goddess? Angelic Qualities?

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