AIBU to believe that this is a self-perpetuating cycle?

(63 Posts)
KaseyM Thu 04-Jul-13 13:08:12

Went to DS's school - received a booklist for over the summer which is split according to year and gender...

Looking at the books for DS's year group I see that the books "recommended by girls" have a mixture of girl AND boy protagonists whilst the boys' books are all about ... well.. boys.

Glancing around, the kids were dutifully reading from the list ascribed to their gender and I know that DS will likely be too embarrassed to pick one from the girls' side (although his favourite is on there) as they have hand in a review.

All this in mind:

AIBU to think this just perpetuates the cycle of girls reading about/watching boys but not vice-versa?

AIBU to think the school shouldn't have done this?

& AIBU to choose for DS myself - 1 about a boy, 1 about a girl and 1 about both?

I realise that's a lot of AIBUs!!

kim147 Thu 04-Jul-13 13:10:40

DS won't read a book which features girls in despite best efforts. We went to see Brave but I don't think he appreciated the message.

BasilBabyEater Thu 04-Jul-13 13:11:22

I think YANBU about any of the 3 dilemmas you pose.

God schools are shit on gender issues aren't they.

God they are shit.

In can't believe they're still doing mindless shit like this.

How shit.

That's all I can say really!

KaseyM Thu 04-Jul-13 13:20:39

Thanks Basil - it IS mindless shit isn't it!! And when I saw the list I had to snap into meditation-i-will-not-scream mode because I was with DM who wouldn't see the harm and think that I'm overthinking.

I love coming here to see I'm not overthinking.

Kim, sorry about DS not proper loving Brave. It is such a brilliant movie isn't it? I've seen it so many times, just for me....blush

kim147 Thu 04-Jul-13 13:29:17

I was in a rage last week. I was working in a nursery and the children wanted me to read a book in the book corner.

I had a girl and a boy next to me. The boy picked a book showing the boy as a hero rescuing a girl and being all "heroic".

The girl then picked a pink Princess book where the girl obviously gets rescued by the strong prince. The boy went away when the girl chose that book.

I really wished their had been more books to choose from.

kim147 Thu 04-Jul-13 13:29:58

there not their blush

Crumbledwalnuts Thu 04-Jul-13 13:30:10

That's crazy - why do they even do a segregated book list? Completely ridiculous in this day and age!

I am coming out as a strident anti-overthinking ist

But you don't need to over think that to see the mindless shittyness of it.

If it were me, I would ask to speak to the head about the message they thought this was sending.

Why not obvious point alert just have a list?

KaseyM Thu 04-Jul-13 13:34:26

Aaagh - I'm just looking through the book list - one of the girls' books seems really funny and the kind of thing DS would enjoy but it's in pink which he wouldn't read in a million because he'd be too embarrassed and mark him out for ridicule if he took it into school....

aaaaaghhhh - WHY OH WHY?!!!

WoTmania Thu 04-Jul-13 13:36:36

Oh FFS <seethe> why? Why Why Why? Why not just have one reading list that the children can pick from? Why segregate? Gah!!!!!!!!!

YANBU

Write and complain. Idiot people (not you, them)

WoTmania Thu 04-Jul-13 13:36:58

<may possibly have the rage today angry>

KaseyM Thu 04-Jul-13 13:58:59

I know Wo! But I don't want to be seen as troublemaker cos it's a new school.... blush I'm soft I know..

I have however successfully ordered 3 books that are a mixture. Kernowland: The Crystal Pool, Millions and Hostage - hope they're good...smile

Now all I have to get DS to do is to read them, a trial at the best of times!!

KaseyM Thu 04-Jul-13 14:02:18

Just read your "strident anti-overthinking ist" Buffy grin it's the rest of the world who "underthinks" things.

It most certainly is. Idiots.

grin

grimbletart Thu 04-Jul-13 15:20:01

Some things are such bat-arsed wankery that it makes you despair.

Down with bat-arsed wankery!

<pumps fist>

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 04-Jul-13 16:11:17

I'm with the strident anti-overthinking brigade. grin I would write to complain. angry

DS1 said that his three favourites series of books are by women (though main characters are still male hmm). He also likes Judy Moody books - main character is a girl!!

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 04-Jul-13 19:49:57

How old is he? Maybe we can make a whole new list which you could present to the school? grin

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 04-Jul-13 20:58:30

Write to school: you are so happy that DS has been so happy in school etc etc, but you've notice the list! Surely it has not been the school's intention! Gendered lists limit the children's imagination. Surely this has been an accident! For example, school XXX down the road has a marvellous reading list (need to research here) and it's not gendered. And you yourself have found several books that are cross-gendered/gender-neutral which DS loves which you would never have found if all books were classified by gender! You know that the school is committed to gender equality and you are looking forward to working in tandem towards it! smile

(Sorry, idea stolen from the let toys be toys campaign, and I've written a letter just like that too to a toy shop ...)

In my vast experience of, ahem, one instance of talking to school about unintentional gender stereotyping, I found that that they hadn't even realised that what they had done was a problem.

This, for those that remember, was the play where the word "pussy" was used as a joke throughout and the boys sang a song about how to get girls (but watch out because they want equality and will make you do housework!).

School were fine, they thanked me for alerting them to the problem.

kim147 Thu 04-Jul-13 21:13:40

Schools are bad at unintentional gender stereotyping. Like who gets to tidy up and who moves the heavy apparatus. Lining up in girls and boys.

I'm certainly much more aware in my practice from what I've read on MN. In fact, MN has made me see teaching in a whole new way and from a very different perspective.

<I am sure I would have made for some interesting threads on MN as a full time teacher grin>

UptoapointLordCopper Thu 04-Jul-13 21:19:47

I think there was a section in Delusion of Genders about classifying children as boys and girls - they did an experiment just classifying two classes of children randomly as the blue group and the red group. In one class they just left it at that, and in the other they made a big deal of it, like lining up in red and blue group. In the end they found animosity between the groups in the class where the distinction was emphasised. This is what we are doing to our children ... Makes me feel a bit sick ...

Takver Thu 04-Jul-13 21:25:45

Jesus, that is insanely crap in the 21st century. I really think you do need to say something. DD goes to the most out-in-the-sticks rural primary you could think of, and I genuinely can't imagine them doing this (in fact AFAIK all dc had to read every book on each shelf before being 'promoted', rainbow magic, beast quest, every pink'n'sparkly or macho-tastic one of them, regardless of sex).

I agree gentle tact is needed (rather than my friends WTAF reaction when we were shown a new logo at the PTA meeting with girl carrying book & boy carrying football grin ), but you can't let it pass, surely.

TheDoctrineOfAllan Thu 04-Jul-13 22:28:58

If there's war between the sexes then there'll be no people left.

Or between the red and blue group, but it doesn't scan so well sad

<pissed>

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now