Is this sexist? Opinions please

(10 Posts)
lackingimagination Fri 05-Jul-13 08:30:23

Thank you all. I went for a mixture of all of the above in the end. We'll wait and see what they say.

The email received was signed off from a woman although I suspect it was actually computer generated so it could have been a man or a woman that entered DP's email address.

hopingforbest Thu 04-Jul-13 18:30:34

vote for buffy's too

...but don't say 'with whom you have dealt with'

blush

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Thu 04-Jul-13 14:46:34

I vote for Buffy's one.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Thu 04-Jul-13 14:42:33

Hmmm. Yes, it could be sexist. It probably is. But, bearing in mind that your response may well have been sent by someone pretty lowly and uninvolved, it could be a cock up reading the wrong details off the wrong line.

I would personally just forward the email to yourself and then email them with:

Following your recent response I would firstly like to ask why it was directed by email to my partner, Mr XXXX, rather than me? I have headed up all correspondence on this matter and was also the lead passenger on the booking. I therefore would expect you to extend the courtesy of continuing to correspond with me unless I request otherwise. Please could you explain why your email was sent to Mr XXXX?

You will have made your point, and if they made a sexist assumption then they will know that they have been pulled up on it. You don't necessarily need to spell it out. And if the answer is 'sorry, a temp read the wrong field on the system' then they will still feel that they can say that rather than go immediately on the defensive.

Dear xxx,

I write to acknowledge receipt of your email dated xxx to my partner Mr XXX.

I would be very interested to hear why it was considered appropriate to initiate a correspondence with Mr XXX when the person with whom you have dealt with up until this point (having made the booking and lodged the initial complaint) has been me.

From now on, I would ask that you extend me the courtesy of writing and speaking to me directly, rather than assuming that decisions should default to my male partner.

I look forward to receiving an apology from your organisation and to the speedy resolution of my complaint.

Yours faithfully / sincerely,

Ms. Don't Fuck With Me I'm A Feminist.

lackingimagination Thu 04-Jul-13 11:16:57

Thank you, both very valid points! How does this sound?

Following your recent response I would firstly like to ask why it was directed by email to my partner, Mr XXXX, rather than myself? I have headed up all correspondence on this matter and was also the lead passenger on the booking. I therefore would expect you to extend the courtesy of continuing to correspond with myself rather than assuming it best to email my male partner. I would be delighted to receive an explanation of this matter otherwise I will consider taking it further.

That would annoy me, too.

First, I would bite back my frustration and consider whether calling them out on this now will affect the likelihood of your claim being settled quickly and with relative ease. If it might, then I'd bide my time.

If not, then I'd forward the email they sent to DP to yourself, and then send an email (with that one attached) stating that as you were the lead passenger and had made the original complaint, you would be grateful if they would have the courtesy to correspond with you directly, rather than assuming that your male partner would be the decision-maker.

I would also copy the email to a senior person at their individual email address, if I could find it.

I hate this sort of thing! angry

evelynj Thu 04-Jul-13 11:05:38

I dint understand why they would do this-I'd almost word for word ask them why they've responded to him & neglected to respond to you as the lead passenger.

Was the respondent male or female?

lackingimagination Thu 04-Jul-13 10:55:30

DP (we are not married and use different surnames) and I are attempting to claim compensation from an airline due to a heavily delayed flight.

I sent the first letter explaining the case signed off with 'Ms Lacking'.

I was also the lead passenger on the booking (using my email address) and this was stated in the original letter.

We received a letter back addressed to the both of us asking us to fill in separate forms with all our details on including email addresses. We did what we were asked and sent them back.

DP then received an email yesterday from the airline explaining the status of our claim (very important as they are unlawfully attempting to reject it). I have definitely not received an email.

Now, I can't see any reason why they would have addressed this response to DP. Other than the fact they assumed it best because he is a man.

Or perhaps I am just angry about the situation?

If I could be right in my thinking I would like to address this in my response - any suggestions as to what I could write?

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