Mumsnet has given me a different perspective on being a woman

(16 Posts)
Frenchvanilla Sat 29-Jun-13 19:18:43

Before MN, I felt I was constantly comparing myself to other women, who didn't really exist except in my head or in the media. Who were all flawless, of course.

Reading MN has helped me realise that I am fairly ordinary, and that I have more in common with other people than I suspected. And that's comforting.

I also feel that a space, set up by women, for women, at a time in women's lives when they are suddenly quite vulnerable- which has become this huge buzzing source of advice and political action- is very empowering.

Is using MN a feminist act?

Sure, before the Internet they had mother and baby groups but I just don't think it was quite the same, somehow.

YDdraigGoch Sat 29-Jun-13 19:19:46

Why would using MN be a feminist act?

Frenchvanilla Sat 29-Jun-13 19:20:50

Participating in a women-oriented space, I think

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Sat 29-Jun-13 20:53:29

I wouldn't say that using MN is automatically a feminist act. But I would agree that the way many women choose to use it is enormously supportive and empowering to other women. Perhaps not feminist in the political sense, but there is certainly something of the sisterhood about the way people devote so much of their time to advising others on breastfeeding, or what to do with a baby with colic, or how to navigate school appeals or fight for your flexible working request.

Other parts can get pretty bitchy, and there are some posters who seem to actively get off on doing others down. I tend to avoid those posters when I recognise their names.

BasilBabyEater Sat 29-Jun-13 21:20:31

I think a lot of MRA's obviously consider it a feminist act, which is why they come here to troll and mansplain and generally beat us all back into line.

The idea that a bunch of women are getting together without male supervision and exchanging stories about their experiences, is bloody terrifying to some blokes.

Hence the visceral dislike of MN across many parts of the meejah and blogosphere.

Ferraro1 Sat 29-Jun-13 21:24:07

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

betterthanever Sat 29-Jun-13 23:08:48

The idea that a bunch of women are getting together without male supervision and exchanging stories about their experiences, is bloody terrifying to some blokes. Not much is making me smile at the moment, thank you for that basil

YDdraigGoch Sun 30-Jun-13 12:51:15

I'd say MN was a feminine place, rather than a feminist place. Don't see what could be feminist about a bit of mutual support, gossip, advice and bitching.

yamsareyammy Sun 30-Jun-13 13:06:08

I had sort of been thinking about this, before seeing this thread.

Though what I had been thinking was, there is the virtually wntirely woman forum here.

But there must be many many men forums too.
And my guess is that they are not mainly talking about parking spaces, and feminism and health issues.

My guess is that they are talking about sex, sport, as well as women.

Obviously mass generalisation.
But sauce for the goose , sauce for the gander or whatever[cant remember that expression very well!]

gaggiagirl Sun 30-Jun-13 13:14:17

Using mumsnet has been an empowering experience for me in lots of ways.
Its been great for me to talk with like minded people about subjects I couldn't talk about in real life be it relationships or periods or just anything really.
I find it so refreshing that so many women can be so open.

zigzoo Sun 30-Jun-13 18:09:42

Yes I see using MN as consciousness raising and therefore for me it's a feminist act.

Other media do not portray women's reality. This is what makes MN so powerful and amazing.

Frenchvanilla Sun 30-Jun-13 20:14:20

I am far, far better acquainted with some issues thanks to MN.

-abusive relationships

-issues that affect parents of children with SEN

-PND

In that way, I suppose it is consciousness-raising.

SinisterSal Sun 30-Jun-13 20:38:42

You don't normally get a woman's perspective as the default. That's what I like about here.

I have been on many other forums and even well mixed ones have a male perspective. I am not articulate enough to spell out what I mean at the mo'. But it's significantly different. It's refreshing and thought provoking to see where the dynamics, stances and priorities and different and where they are the same.

betterthanever Sun 30-Jun-13 20:48:45

Thanks zigoo I now have a way of describing what it has done for me.

Saidar Sun 30-Jun-13 23:07:49

Agreed French, but not always in a positive light. I left for a while and came back, and it's like deja vu, "My husband can't tidy up * tsk * silly men! Good job I'm here to help and to pick up all of his shit!"

_chat has been depressing today, there was more than one.

SunshineBossaNova Sun 30-Jun-13 23:45:05

I see what you mean OP. It's because of MN that I went to my first feminist conference last year. I feel I have learned a lot about myself and what other women go through. I'm not a mum, but have learned a lot about the bits of motherhood that sometimes don't get mentioned - isolation, PND, the need for support - and the good bits too.

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