Friends who have been to stripclubs.

(133 Posts)
academic Wed 26-Jun-13 18:27:44

Have any of you got friends who have visited stripclubs/hired 'dancers' or waitresses for stag nights etc?

If you found out that your friends had indulged in such behaviour would you see them in a different light? Would you perhaps even choose to end the friendship? Or would your opinion of them be unaffected?

There reason I ask is that a friend of mine is unhappy that her partner is attending a stag do abroad which will inevitably involve strippers and much debauchery in general. She was wondering whether she would be able to tell him that he couldn't go. I'm afraid I wasn't much help when she asked my opinion - these guys happen to have been very good friends for such a long time, and her partner is not the best man; he has no say over the itinerary. However I do understand her misgivings.

libertarianj Tue 02-Jul-13 15:26:33

But Rosabud i was responding back to the other posters, and the points about objectification and dancer welfare are still relevant factors in persons deciding on why they don't like/ mind their mates going to strip clubs.

2) we don't understand what we are talking about, strip clubs are very different to what we all imagined and are, in fact, oases of friendly chatting (bit patronising - and the promoters of this concept have yet to argue why this chatting requires some of the chatters to remain clothed whilst the others must be dressed in a sexually provocative way)

It could be argued that the dancers were wearing more clothes than a lot of the women in the nightclubs we went to earlier on in the night.

garlicnutty Tue 02-Jul-13 15:58:49

That reply is so full of weirdness, lib, I barely (haha) know where to start! Let me just remark that your last sentence isn't a reply to the quote. You go to nightclubs for a good talk? OK hmm

libertarianj Tue 02-Jul-13 18:28:51

Well Rosabud basically criticized me for going off topic and i was defending what was being discussed was still relevant to the original OP's questions. What's so weird about that?

I will however agree with you that my last sentence was a bit abstract having read it back, but it was just a casual comment that lot of of girls dress provocatively on a night out and is not something that is exclusive to strip clubs.

AnyFucker Germany Tue 02-Jul-13 19:01:17

Bloody hell, that rosa is a right ball breaker isn't she ? grin

Beachcomber Wed 03-Jul-13 09:12:49

Yes it would change my opinion of a person if I found out that they support the sex industry by going to strip clubs. I would think they were an arsewipe.

Because the sex industry is massively gendered and it is part of the fundamental fabric of male supremacist society and violence against women.

And anyone who talks about fun and chat and crap is obviously so lacking in the will or ability to analyse the basics of sexual politics that I would rather not have anything much to do with them.

(BTW namechangeguy - it is great that you care so much about exploited workers. Patriarchal capitalist society is probably a better focus for you however, I mean rather than feminists. We don't run the show, we don't have the structural power in our hands and we didn't set the system up. You might want to get onto the menfolks about that one. Could you talk to them about the feminization of poverty whilst you are at it please?)

BasilBabyEater Wed 03-Jul-13 12:50:40

"perhaps we need to concede that feminist issues just simply aren't going to be everyone's first priority in terms of things they care about and are motivated by."

Oh I'm more than happy to concede that. I just wish those ppl would concentrate on their own priorities and stop coming over 'ere and telling us to stop concentrating on our's.

garlicnutty Wed 03-Jul-13 15:12:22

It's puzzling, isn't it, Basil?! I'm really not bothered about knitting, say, so I never ever go on a knitting thread. I can't imagine what could motivate me to pile in there and tell them all they're doing it wrong, or that they're faulty because they find knitting interesting, and they should be like me.

If I did do anything so weird, I'd be a fool to expect them to welcome my opinion, wouldn't I?

What a disgrace you lot are - discussing this when you should be discussing something else (something I think is more important).

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