Serena Williams: "I'm not blaming the girl BUT..."

(48 Posts)
FreedomOfTheTess Wed 19-Jun-13 11:15:41

In an interview in Rolling Stone magazine, Serena shares her opinion on the Steubenville rape, and says she isn't blaming the girl BUT... and then of course goes on to blame the girl by questioning why she was drinking at 16, that kind of thing.

Link here

(NB: It is a DM link, sorry about that, I am trying to find the story on an alternative site, but no luck so far).

Clearly the message isn't getting through to all women, let alone all men.

cubeofpoo Thu 20-Jun-13 12:29:41

I'm a bit confused how getting drunk (and I refuse to accept she wasn't drugged but I'll play the game) how being drunk makes you a "slut" or a "ho"? And who gave men the right to say women should behave a certain way (i.e. not like men) but still be responseible when they rape them.

I hope this girl is on some sort of suicide watch and getting counciling as this amount of world wide vitriol at someone who did nothing more than be raped has got to be more than most teens could take.

when a girl gets arrested in another country for being raped the whole western world pats itself on the back for being against "them" because other countries are so "backwards and primitive". But I fail to see any difference here.

cubeofpoo Thu 20-Jun-13 12:14:04

I'd never be able to stop crying if I found out I'd raised a monster. however in this case iirc the boys parents were also involved in the cover up and victim blaming. they were little princes in their town.

scallopsrgreat Thu 20-Jun-13 10:58:35

"Part of it of course is that many people view women as there for penetrating." I agree. It is frightening when you think about it those terms.

WoTmania Thu 20-Jun-13 09:35:44
FreedomOfTheTess Thu 20-Jun-13 09:26:01

After the birth of DD2 last week, I decided to set up a Facebook account, so I could share details with my family in the U.S. easily. My account is private, so while none of the friends of my FB friends can see my account, I can see some of their theirs (if it isn't private).

I was on FB late last night, posting a current picture of DD2, and I noticed one of my cousins in the States had made the comment "oh FFS, the victim is NEVER at fault" in a post. This immediately grabbed my attention, so I wanted to see if I was able to see the whole post/status she was responding too, which I could and not surprisingly it was in response to a status someone had made about Serena's comments. (The original status was criticising Serena, my cousin's response was to someone else's comment which had said they agreed with Serena).

Anyway, part of me wishes I hadn't been able to read all the posts though, as some of the comments made my heart sink. Particularly disturbing comments were:

"If you don't want to be raped, you need to act like a lady when you're out."

"If you act like you've got loose morals, guys will pick on that, and see you as fair game."

"You have to act in the way you want to be treated. Act like a slut, you'll be treated as one."

"What those guys did was wrong, but you know, the victim is equally responsible for acting like a ho."

The most disturbing thing is all of these comments were made by teenage girls.

Littleballofhate Thu 20-Jun-13 04:31:45

I am outraged by the comments made by Serena Williams. The victim of this assault will most likely be made aware of these remarks. How can any think, feeling, intelligent woman say such hurtful words? The shame is all Serena's. She needs to own it.

courgetteDOTcom Thu 20-Jun-13 03:20:35

I stupidly read the comments and shock at the +s!

about the rapists families, it's not their fault and they're possibly devastated by it. there's a film about a true story of a shooting at an Amish school. the residents, led by a father, went to offer support to the shooters family. I don't think families should be forgotten. ok it's not as bad as what the girl went through but they will be going through it too.

sashh Thu 20-Jun-13 02:06:13

She has attempted to appologise

""What happened in Steubenville was a real shock for me. I was deeply saddened. For someone to be raped, and at only sixteen, is such a horrible tragedy! For both families involved – that of the rape victim and of the accused."

Yes such a tragedy for the rapist

WoTmania Wed 19-Jun-13 21:57:14

Part of it of course is that many people view women as there for penetrating. I've heard women saying rape mut be 'so much worse' for men hmm because naturalyl for women it's like normal consensual sex just slightly different hmm hmm

JacqueslePeacock Wed 19-Jun-13 21:09:52

Another "disgusting" attack on a poor defenceless drunk man, in the US this time:

Drunk Man Attacked (DM link)

Right, I'll stop going through the DM now! It's not very pleasant reading.

JacqueslePeacock Wed 19-Jun-13 21:04:56

OK, I've been searching! Here is a DM story about a Swedish man who got horribly drunk and was attacked and robbed, then left for dead on a train track in a "chilling" attack. It's a horrible case. But do you notice anything missing from the DM account? You know, the bit where it's all the bloke's fault for getting so pissed he didn't know what he was doing?

Drunk Swedish Man Robbed and Left to Be Hit By Train (DM link)

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Wed 19-Jun-13 20:44:47

That's exactly what I signed up with the DM to say, I called out the poster I quoted and asked if his friends raped him after a night drinking or even possibly drugged him (which was put forward by the people who hacked the rapists accounts) at what point would he feel he was responsible for being raped?

PoppyAmex Wed 19-Jun-13 20:42:38

"Maybe she wasn't a virgin"

FFS

KneeDeepInDaisies Wed 19-Jun-13 20:38:31

I can't read the article. I don't think I could be responsible for my actions based on the quotes I've read here.

angry

JacqueslePeacock Wed 19-Jun-13 20:38:05

That would be very interesting to know, actually - can anyone think of a single example, ever, of a case where a man got extremely drunk to the point of passing out and had horrendous things done to him by others, and where anyone (news reports? comments?) said "well, he shouldn't have got so drunk, he's partly responsible"? I just cannot imagine such a case.

ArmyOfPenguins Wed 19-Jun-13 20:31:45

Hmm. I wonder if it was a young man who had passed out drunk, and people saw fit to drag him around to different parties, penetrating him with objects, pissing on him, filming it and posting it on FB, commenters would be blaming him for drinking so much.

Doubt it.

CaptChaos Wed 19-Jun-13 18:19:25

Of course they put that comment up. The DM exists to reassure 'middle-englanders' that women are to blame for rape, DV, their children failing at school, and anything else that takes their fancy. I was slightly shocked that they had run a piece which suggested otherwise, but the comments section has confirmed that my first thoughts were correct, that they were using the remarks made by Ms Williams in order to reinforce DM readers bigotry.

Rape apologists the world over must be toasting Serena this evening, as they must do any woman who makes their job easier. hmm

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Wed 19-Jun-13 17:55:54

I agree Bruce. There was a time perhaps that girls had more respect for themselves, however it seems that is becoming less and less the case. I agree what the boys did was wrong and their punishment, deserved; as they took advantage, however that girl's choice to go to a party, I am sure her parents would not allow, and drink the amount of alcohol to get her to the state that she was in. That was her decision

This was rated +23 angry

I have got the fucking rage. What makes it worse is I actually registered for an account just to tell him what I think and I got this message.

^ Thank you for adding a comment to MailOnline. Comments on this article are being checked in advance. We aim to publish as many as possible. MailOnline receives thousands of comments every day, so please be patient.If your comments do not appear, this may be due to the volume we receive or due to the content of your comment. Why not follow us on Facebook and Twitter^

So they chose to put that comment up angry

scallopsrgreat Wed 19-Jun-13 17:49:06

I think I'm OK with criticising a patriarchal religion that does not value women and commenting about how that could indoctrinate a woman's thought processes, thanks MrsWolowitz. And no I don't equate that to victim blaming. Even in the slightest. I wasn't blaming her for having those thoughts at all. Just understanding where they came from and understanding how religious structures like the JW can get women to police other women for the patriarchy.

mignonette Wed 19-Jun-13 17:47:25

Wonder what Williams would have to say if somebody said her sisters accidental death in a drive by shooting was her fault for driving in an open top car/with the window open......

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Wed 19-Jun-13 17:46:17

why was she discussing it in the first place I wonder?

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Wed 19-Jun-13 17:45:23

oh shock

read the comments.

actually don't.

NiceTabard Wed 19-Jun-13 17:32:09

I agree with third that it is very hard to break out of the thinking / ideas you are conditioned with. especially if they are strong religious / fairly closed community type stuff. I imagine she had a very closed childhood/teenhood and her father is very controlling isn't he.

Hopefully the reaction to her comments will open her eyes to the things she has been taught to believe. She maybe wasn't even thinking what she was saying but just regurgitating what she has been told all her life. Most people do that at one time or another.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Wed 19-Jun-13 17:06:50

I don't see how commenting that someone follows a rigid anti female religion and has been indoctrinated to follow it very strictly etc is like victim blaming at all.

you might as well say society itself is not relevant in the way we treat women

Justfornowitwilldo Wed 19-Jun-13 16:44:15

Watchtower 2012 Apr 1 p.29
"Selma recalls a lesson she learned from the Witness who studied with her. “On one particular day,” says Selma, “I didn’t want to have a Bible study. The night before, Steve had hit me as I had tried to prove a point, and I was feeling sad and sorry for myself. After I told the sister what had happened and how I felt, she asked me to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. As I did, I began to reason, ‘Steve never does any of these loving things for me.’ But the sister made me think differently by asking, ‘How many of those acts of love do you show toward your husband?’ My answer was, ‘None, for he is so difficult to live with.’ The sister softly said, ‘Selma, who is trying to be a Christian here? You or Steve?’ Realizing that I needed to adjust my thinking, I prayed to Jehovah to help me be more loving toward Steve. Slowly, things started to change.”After 17 years Steve accepted the truth.'

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now