So women are 'sponging' off their husbands

(21 Posts)
rubyrubyruby Mon 13-May-13 08:34:55

Oh - and he is not senior paperclip allocation Manager grin

When we met he had just started his first proper job since graduating - he is now MD.

rubyrubyruby Mon 13-May-13 08:32:44

I didn't accept any role SGB. I was a self supporting single parent in my 30s when I met DH. No great career - just a job that paid the bills. I wasn't looking for a partner and didn't expect to fall in love.
He was/is quite a bit younger than me and is highly intelligent and professionally driven - I'm not.

I wonder, just a little tiny bit, about all these women who 'just weren't' ever going to be competent self-supporting wealthy famous but somehow their husbands were. If you hadn't accepted the role of Hubby's domestic appliance, he might never have risen as far as senior paperclip allocation manager. But you might have become a brain surgeon.

Sunnywithshowers Mon 13-May-13 01:58:01

Fuck that. My BIL used to work away a lot and say 'she's spending my money' about my DSis. I used to want to scream 'she's raising YOUR children'... Luckily he's grown up since smile

LuisGarcia Mon 13-May-13 01:41:53

I shamelessly sponge off MrsG by raising our children.

rubyrubyruby Sun 12-May-13 10:28:01

I 'sponge' off my DH financially if that's how people like to see it.

We are a team and professionally he was always going to do better than me. I don't have the drive and ambition he does but have other skills he doesn't.

He would never have achieved what he has without me and we BOTH know this.

IsBella Sun 12-May-13 10:11:52

Yep. "The family" looking after elderly relatives, means women in the family with a few noble exceptions.

Exactly. The post-industrial economy functions on women's unpaid labour. Not just the housekeeping for their individual male owners, and all the responsibility of childcare, but looking after the elderly and the sick, is all supposed to be women's unpaid responsibillity. That's what 'community care' generally means. Unpaid work by women that prevents them from earning actual wages.

kotinka Sun 12-May-13 08:58:27

well said isbella!

this makes me so fucking angry.

GoblinGranny Sun 12-May-13 08:54:48
IsBella Sun 12-May-13 08:50:49

No one notices the sponging off women's free labour that men do.

They are able to go out to work, progress their careers and not bother about the domestic arrangements, because usually then mothers of their children are doing it for free, even when they too work in the cash economy.

And then they get to define the freeloading they're doing as women sponging off them, in a classic reversal.

Patriarchy, doncha love it.

blueshoes Fri 10-May-13 22:54:57

The multi-million pound settlements mentioned in the article will become more of a rarity in the UK since the high profile Radmacher heiress case which opened the door to English courts upholding prenuptial agreements.

Most of industry and commerce was set up like this - for every working man to have a female house-servant to do all the domestic work and care for the children (and the elderly relatives as well). At present, if a family has more than two small children, the cost of childcare is so prohibitive that it makes it pretty much essential to have one parent or family member at home looking after those small children. Looking after small children is work.

namechangedatm Fri 10-May-13 15:38:55

I think living off your man's earnings is giving him too much power and from my experience makes some men resentful of the wife, especially if she doesn't put out.

I prefer having my own money and being the higher earner. A wife living off her husbands earnings is in a vulnerable position imo, not one I'd want to be in. You see it all the time on here, women who can't leave their asshole husband as they depend on him financially.

freta Thu 09-May-13 21:52:12

Please explain OP. exactly what brought out the rage?

LineRunner Thu 09-May-13 19:06:20

Equality? Where's that then?

OrbisNonSufficit Thu 09-May-13 07:19:41

It's a bit disingenuous. "We fought for equality"... Yes, we'll we don't HAVE it yet, men still earn more and they still run the world. When a woman is running F1, I will expect her divorced husband to get £750m in the settlement.

Mondrian Thu 09-May-13 06:45:43

I'd imagine that is the case with DM readers but hey apparently everyone on here is a Guardian reader.

(and even if you're a SAHM etc...you both chose the set up. Not just him. So you both got a choice, which is still equality in my eyes)

Well I'm studying for my degree & not letting DP move in until we can be on equal footing....so suck on that DailyFail grin

Spannah01 Thu 09-May-13 06:25:40

Sorry for the dm link, but this article bought out the rage in me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2321531/We-fought-equality-So-greedy-wives-sponge-ex-husbands.html

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