Awkwardness at work

(11 Posts)
ohdobuckup Thu 09-May-13 22:20:53

Ha ha this is so interesting..just been working in an office as a temp, whenever a male engineer/painter/decorator comes in the women email all sorts of filth to each other..who should I complain to?

Tweet2tweet Tue 07-May-13 20:34:04

Under relatively recent E&D update to regulations, if you heard/have evidence of any sexist comments etc you are able to raise them as causing offence to HR/dept manager. Even if the comments were not directed at you but caused you offence your complaint should be taken seriously and action taken. However, if you think comments may have been made but have no evidence then there's not too much that can be done. Ot great I know, but that's the view from a regulatory perspective.

Delayingtactic Tue 07-May-13 17:24:24

Sorry I'm in a remarkably grumpy mood. I think the email thing is actually quite shocking and that I would be raising.

ColdHandLou Tue 07-May-13 17:08:55

Good point Delayingtactic I was generalising but I think that's what would happen in this office.

There are comments & emails that I have overheard/seen & it does go on to some extent and people should definitely keep their personal opinions to themselves in the workplace.

And no I have no idea if she was bothered by it or noticed - quite possibly I was projecting . . .

Delayingtactic Tue 07-May-13 17:00:56

Hang on a sec, you can't really be generalising that women by nature would be more welcoming to a visitor and would go chat, merely be ause they're women?!

Delayingtactic Tue 07-May-13 16:58:55

Do you think she felt uncomfortable? Did she notice at all or looked upset by it? I don't know if I would mention it unless I felt that the answer was yes otherwise you may be projecting a bit.

Saying that, do these men ever make comments either about you or generally about women in your earshot? The idea that anything would be said in emails is what I find more surprising.

Or they might just be getting on with their bloody job and keeping whatever private thoughts they have about his attractiveness where they belong, to themselves.

Glad HR are sympathetic to this sort of thing. They may be able to check emails too. We get in deep shit for 'personal' stuff being bandied about via work email.

The bottom line is that these men can help it, they're paid to work not embarrass visitors or colleagues. Thousands and thousands of men manage to go to work and not behave like a pillock and you're not wrong to expect these one to, either.

ColdHandLou Tue 07-May-13 16:37:46

I also think if the roles were reversed & it was an attractive male visitor with a group of women, the women would be chatting to him & making him feel welcome rather than this 'joining forces' & making someone feel uncomfortable.

ColdHandLou Tue 07-May-13 16:09:49

Thanks for the quick reply BTP- I could certainly mention it to our HR manager who would be sympathetic. Of course I don't know if the visitor noticed but you are quite right about the locker room atmosphere. It is a certain section of the office, thankfully not the whole place.

It is depressing. An immature 'locker room' atmosphere has no place in a work environment supposedly staffed by adults.

Quite what you'd do about it, I'm not sure. If visitors have been made to feel uncomfortable, or you because you are working with asshats, you could perhaps mention it in general to a line manager?

ColdHandLou Tue 07-May-13 16:00:49

I'm not sure if I'm asking a question here but feel so uncomfortable just wanted to put the situation 'out there' rather than just brooding on it.

We don't generally have many outside people come into the office apart from clients & today there is a woman here making notes on our storage space as we are moving offices later this year. She is very pretty & I have noticed several of my male colleagues sniggering behind her back (& possibly making comments) as she works with different teams. I dread to think what emails have been going round.

I don't know if I have explained it very well but I have been feeling a bit nauseous - these are adults (some with wives & children) behaving like teenagers & I just find it a bit depressing sad

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