The invisible men project

(1000 Posts)
ArmyOfPenguins Mon 06-May-13 22:45:42

I think it's important that the buyers' choices in prostitution are highlighted and shared. This project was linked to on FB. Thoughts? I think it's a great idea.

the-invisible-men.tumblr.com/

Beachcomber Wed 29-May-13 22:04:48

This is a good project.

As many have pointed out here, analysis of the institution of prostitution tends to focus on the women. The spotlight needs to be on the men - the ones who choose to purchase sexual access of other human beings.

Men such as the ones in this study for example

When compared with the large number of studies of women in prostitution, it is apparent that men who buy women for sexual use are an under-researched group. There is a need for research that offers additional information on those who have been described as “the invisible subjects of the sex industry”

Some comments from the men studied;

Prostitution is like masturbating without having to use your hand.”

“It’s like renting a girlfriend or wife. You get to choose like a catalogue.”

“I feel sorry for these girls but this is what I want.”

“No big deal, it’s just like getting a beer.”

“I like it if it’d be super expensive...she comes in, nothing said and she is instantly very sexual, a sexual creature.”

“My favourite experience in prostitution was when she was totally submissive.”

“I don’t like the ones that make no secret of it being a job. I like customer care. They try to finish quickly but I want to take a little bit of time.”

“I have sex as a means to an end to meet my sexual needs... It’s a financial transaction.”

“I found her on punternet.com and she looked at me with the look of a puppy dog in the Christmas window.”

“Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with.

“If you go to the wrong one, you might as well be in a morgue, there’s a slab of flesh there.”

“We’re living in the age of instant coffee, instant food. This is instant sex.”

“Prostitution is a last resort to unfulfilled sexual desires. Rape would be less safe, or if you’re forced to hurt someone or if you’re so frustrated you jack off all day.”

“Prostitution is being able to do what you want without the taxation.”

”It’s no strings attached sex, no bother about buying gifts, it’s a one off financial commitment.”

“It should be legalised over here. This is the way God created us. It is being human. If you don’t have a partner then you have to go to a prostitute.”

“It’s unfulfilling, there’s no reward. It’s empty. It’s terrible. You come out feeling even more empty and unloved. You will likely feel quite empty afterwards, as if you have been used.”

“Prostitution is like being able to masturbate without doing any of the work.”

“You pay for the convenience, a bit like going to a public loo.”

“I hugely recommend it but be sure you know there’s a threshold you’ll be crossing. Prostitution is naturally questionable, whether it’s to yourself or to society.

WhentheRed Thu 30-May-13 03:35:41

Thanks for that Beachcomber. I agree more studies of the men are needed.

Look, men pay for women because he can have whatever and whoever he wants. Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with.

Real women - because punters don't view prostitutes as real women. hmm angry

duedatea Sun 16-Jun-13 02:25:33

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GoshAnneGorilla Algeria Sun 16-Jun-13 02:43:15

That linked post is vile. Some women liked being choked and gagged apparently.

And the ones where the men complained about the women " well, they probably felt bad about it afterwards.

Utter shite.

duedatea Sun 16-Jun-13 02:48:21

The linked post points out the project is extremely biased and leaves bits out of the reviews it does quote from.

And it was written by a sex worker who is more qualifed to speak on the topic than any of you are

duedatea Sun 16-Jun-13 02:50:15

For example one of the quotes from the project also had this sentence in the same review:

"Very nice friendly & willing young girl thoroughly recommended!"

But the writer of the invisible man project chose not to include it. Wonder why?

FloraFox Sun 16-Jun-13 04:17:53

Only a vile subhuman could think the addition of that sentence makes any of those reviews any less repugnant.

WhentheRed Sun 16-Jun-13 05:33:33

duedatea, from the review minxlydia posted, the invisible men project also left out this gem:

whenever I pulled my cock out and thrust it back in, she cried out in pain, but never asked me to stop. Fake of course but done so well that it was fantastic.

So, what do you think duedatea - would the inclusion of that particular comment have made the invisible men review more "balanced"?

lifeandstyule Sun 16-Jun-13 13:15:08

If the crying was fake that means it was all acted and not real.

Here's the link again incase anyone missed it:

www.minxylydia.com/1/post/2013/06/the-invisible-men-tumblr-and-my-thoughts-on-reviews.html

lifeandstyule Sun 16-Jun-13 13:17:04

quote:
"Now reviews, they can really help with establishing an escorts reputation and certainly increase hits to a website. My reviews have always been pretty kind and complimentary. They usually give me a warm fuzzy glow and I am not offended by them or feel objectified by them. Again, I am lucky I get to see lovely respectful clients."

robcrais Sun 16-Jun-13 13:40:12

Now she's lurking and insulting people publicly. Really vile. It's unbelievable someone can think like that.

twitter.com/minxy_lydia

FloraFox Sun 16-Jun-13 14:04:08

It's interesting that whenever pro-pimp/punter apologists post something they think exculpates them, they simply demonstrate their revolting beliefs and lack of intelligent thought. They make the case against themselves better than anyone else.

GoshAnneGorilla Algeria Sun 16-Jun-13 15:54:46

Haha at the comeback. Apparently we are just bitter, ugly and no good in bed.

She'll be claiming our husbands all wish they could pay for her services next.

Internalised misogyny is so predictable.

WhentheRed Sun 16-Jun-13 16:15:04

lifeandstyule, just in case FloraFox's comment was too subtle for you, let me spell it out:

1. Your punter has no idea whether the woman was actually faking it, or was really in pain.
2. Even if she was faking it, her cries were so real that he was getting off them.

Your man gets off on the pain of women.

However, I am glad that you have said you think that's okay. The more you and your crowd speak, the more distant fully legalised prostitution will become.

weeklydeals Mon 17-Jun-13 13:33:26

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FloraFox Mon 17-Jun-13 18:31:40

If anyone wants to read the experiences of someone who is not anonymous, Rachel Moran's writing is very powerful.

www.theprostitutionexperience.com

perrycoma Tue 30-Jul-13 15:12:41

Hi there, I just found this site via a "punting site" and read most of this thread, then I joined so I could comment.

In society there are extremes in most areas, whether that's work (typically health and safety, third world exploitation, etc), hobbies and careers (like the boxer who gets his head bashed in to earn a crust) and many other similar examples. Prostitution serves a purpose in society and similarly, there are extremes of abuse, rape, theft and even murder. In my area alone I am aware of punters being beaten up, robbed at knife-point, blackmailed to the extent where a WG and her partner were jailed, WGs being robbed, abused and raped.

I am also aware of four examples of punters having a relationship with a WG they have visited and would never have met but for that chance connection. Two of these have formed permanent partnerships and one couple are now married.

I have a question. What is it that contributors to this thread are looking for in terms of "result" or even a 'wish list' of what they would like to see happen about prostitution in the UK and the word over?

Porl.

FloraFox Tue 30-Jul-13 20:20:29

I would like men to choose not to exploit and rape women. Not much to ask really. I would like those men who choose to exploit and rape women (pimps and punters) to rot in jail where they belong.

WhentheRed Tue 30-Jul-13 23:10:11

I would like the introduction of the Swedish model and proper enforcement of the laws by the police and CPS.

sghueks Wed 31-Jul-13 11:03:33

Nice sentiments FloraFox only you didn't answer the question.

Not all punters are rapists and paying for sex is not always exploitative of the women, it is sometimes exploiting men. But the exploitation argument had been done to death and never truly resolved so for the basis of this discussion I 'suggest' we stick with rape and abuse etc.

So, is your desire for justice placed only within the realms of prostitution or would you like "world peace" also?

sghueks Wed 31-Jul-13 11:18:58

WhentheRed, the Swedish model does seem to work if you believe the police and govt statistics. The problem is it's completely off balance to put the entire blame on the punter because some women want to work as escorts.

In addition, I would argue the statistics are slightly out of touch with reality. I just put "Sweden escorts" in google and the result was:

About 4,090,000 results (0.23 seconds)

I'd say Mr Punter in Sweden has no bigger problem than anywhere else in perusing his desires.

The issue here is not about "prostitution" per se but about the abuse and victims found within it. The reason for this is that the law almost everywhere, fails to grasp at the real issue due to an entirely outdated sense of morality which just does not work in practice.

Historically there was abuse and even murder when alcohol and tobacco was bootlegged and sold illegally. Legalise it and the abuse stopped. And there is your answer so, if you truly want to end the abuse of women in the sex trade the answer is simple. If in the other hand you just want to posture about the morality and how the very subject offends your delicate sensibilities then carry on........getting nowhere. If you change nothing usually, nothing changes.

Regards.

scallopsrgreat Wed 31-Jul-13 11:32:33

Prostitution is demand driven, not supply driven. The blame can quite happily be put entirely on the punter.

"Legalise it and the abuse stopped" No it doesn't.

It seems to me it isn't our "delicate sensibilities" that are the problem. There is a problem with accepting where the responsibility for the abuse and exploitation of women through prostitution lies. It isn't our sensibilities that are delicate.

Beachcomber Wed 31-Jul-13 11:32:49

I hate it when women's bodies are compared to fags and booze. Speaks volumes.

Beachcomber Wed 31-Jul-13 11:41:25

And it is such a stupid thing to say.

Nobody raped, hurt, exploited, murdered, beat and enslaved fags and booze. That wasn't the issue with prohibition or why it came into place or why it was ended.

The idiocy is astounding. The analogy so flawed and offensive that yet again it shines a light on the inhumanity of the argument that certain women should be made sexually available to men.

WhentheRed Wed 31-Jul-13 15:25:42

I said nothing about morality and my sensibilities are far from delicate, sghueks. Those are your issues, not mine.

As you acknowledge, a central issue with prostitution is the violence within it. Pimps and punters beat, rape and kill those who work in prostitution. Even the pro-prostitution lobby campaigns to legalise prostitution primarily on the grounds of safety - it argues that legalisation will keep those working in prostitution safe from the perpetrators.

The Swedish model is not based in morality but safety and equality driven. The laws, which decriminalise the people working in prostitution make it safer for those in prostitution (a) to exit and (b) to report crimes against them. The Swedish model also protects those in prostitution from the pimps and punters by criminalising their access to their victims.

The answer to preventing the assault, rape and murder of those working in prostitution is to reduce the access of the perpetrators to their victims, not to increase access.

Prostitution is about the men. The issues are equality for women and safety, not morality.

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