Should I force DD to be fashionable?

(56 Posts)
fuzzpig Tue 26-Mar-13 18:34:15

Recently had a comment from another mum at a birthday party (thankfully NOT in earshot of DD) saying that she was wearing a ridiculous outfit because it didn't 'go'.

Perfectly pedestrian clothes BTW, just clashing bright/pastel colours and a long sleeved top under a dress. That's the sort of thing she likes to wear. She doesn't choose what clothes I buy - I get pretty normal supermarket children's clothes - but she chooses what to wear each day.

Apparently I should be inisting that she wears coordinating clothes all the time so she doesn't look silly.

She is FIVE, by the way. She shouldn't have to worry about this, right?! Or am I being naive and setting her up for a lifetime of social problems by not choosing her clothes? confused

AllPurposeNortherner Sun 31-Mar-13 11:18:10

Oh, and it might be relevant that they have very kind family who make clothes for them - black velvet dress was made by MIL, cardigan was knitted by my Nana...

AllPurposeNortherner Sun 31-Mar-13 11:16:25

I let mine choose if we have time, otherwise I lay the clothes out for them. I do supply them with clothes of my choice - eg fairly practical and often vintagey - but they do choose the odd thing, mostly moshi monsters/thomas stuff tbh.

6yo DD1 had a non uniform day recently. She wore black shoes, grey and black woolly tights, black velvet dress with grey long sleeved top underneath and a denim waistcoat. She looked ace :-D

3yo DD2 mostly chooses "boy" clothes, and they suit her too. A usual outfit would be red combat trousers, thomas trainers, thomas t shirt, yellow hand knitted cardigan and a ladybird hat grin

Greythorne Sun 31-Mar-13 10:53:25

I agree with MrsDV

I love dressing my DDs up in 'nicely' matching outfits but I am Northern working class and we just don't do shabby chic. I make sure tights match, hair clips match, everything is pressed. I let the odd tiara slip through from time to time smile

But I couldn't give a toss what others do. I secretly admire those kids who turn up for play dates in orange crocs, pink fairy dress, electric blue fleece and multi colored striped tights.

BanjoPlayingTiger Sat 30-Mar-13 21:39:39

Oh FFS! 5! hmm

How utterly ridiculous.

I hate how girls are supposed to conform to fashion. My dd is 13, she mostly dresses in baggy trousers and tops. I have had people tell me she should wear more girly things. TBH, as long as she is wearing clothes that are weather appropriate I let her wear whatever.

I have been found on more than one occasion ranting in clothes departments about the lack of suitable clothing and footwear for girls who want to climb trees.

MrsDeVere Sat 30-Mar-13 21:34:35

As long as they are warm/dry/not too hot etc
Who cares?

I am going to be absolutely honest though... I can't bear my kids looking scruffy when we go out. They often do , but it makes me very uncomfortable.
But that is linked to my childhood.

Other people's DCs? I do not judge at all unless they look neglected (as opposed to just a bit grubby).

I think this has to go both ways though. Its not right to judge a parent who dresses their child in designer wear as vain or controlling (or anything else)

Schooldidi Sat 30-Mar-13 21:28:04

Freya we fit that stereotype well in our house. Dd2 chose her own clothes today and mil nearly had a fit when she saw her. Everything was spotty!! So she had purple with yellow spots on a long sleeved tshirt, then on top of that she had a white sundress with tiny multi-coloured spots, her knickers and socks were both white with spots. The only problem with her 'spotty' look was the trousers because she doesn't have any spotty trousers so she chose stripey leggings because "stripes are nearly spots". Top it off with a ladybird dressing up waistcoat, a monkey head hat, and a bright red coat, and she looked a complete state. BUT she had chosen it herself and had got herself dressed without any help, which is a big deal when you're 3 and she was so proud of herself. It would have been cruel to tell her it didn't look great.

chipmonkey Sat 30-Mar-13 20:44:50

How rude of her to comment!

I remember one of ds2's friends aged 3 coming to a party in a pink top, orange trousers and wellies!grin The Dad was at pains to explain that it was her own choice of clothing, not his, but to be fair, I was more worried about where all the friends were at any given time, rather than what they were wearing. Mind you, she was easy to find!

FreyaSnow Sat 30-Mar-13 20:29:07

I agree with the poster who mentioned 'artfully clashing' as being a fashion. It is a sterotypical look for a middle class child from a certain sort of family - lots of bright colours, wellies, skirts over trousers, long tops under dresses and tshirts, boys with long hair, knitted striped jumpers etc.

If I go to my local park, half the kids in the playground are dressed like this.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 30-Mar-13 18:30:08

Oh I am the complete opposite of all of you on this thread. I always have my dc looking nice, it might be head to toe primarni (well actually no I hate primark but they have had the odd thing) but they always match and look nice. EG I wouldn't let dd wear her pink trainers with red trousers, why because it looks awful.

infamouspoo Sat 30-Mar-13 18:25:26

No. Fashion is a way to make women buy more stuff than they need and feel insecure. Why make them start at 5?

I was told off for letting ds 2 wear pink when he was 3! He had pink wellies, tshirts, hoodies. My reasoning was piccasso had a blue phase.... He's turned out ok. Likes pink, won't wear it though! The woman's a loon! Ignore!

WoTmania Thu 28-Mar-13 11:03:31

NO is the short answer.
Let her wear what she wants and experiment and gain confidence in the way she looks and develop her 'own style'.
My mum and I clashed for years (and years and years and years and years and years) because she tried to get me to conform to a certain way of dressing that just wasn't me. We get along a lot better now I'm in my 30s and she leaves me alone mostly.

OBface Wed 27-Mar-13 16:06:57

How bloody depressing.

OP take no notice

TheSmallClanger Wed 27-Mar-13 16:01:05

If you can't wear crazy clashing clothes at 5, when can you wear them?

DD had some co-ordinating outfits and a lot of thrown-together ones at that age, and she did go through a phase of liking to wear layers - skirt or dress over trousers, with a cardi or jumper and perhaps a scarf. She wasn't the only one. Lots of the little girls round here wore/wear colourful wellies as their main footwear.

Bue Wed 27-Mar-13 15:44:35

Stargirl shock Dressing fashionably at six months?! "Outfits" for babies would have no place in my life. Who can be bothered with the faff?

SatsukiKusukabe Wed 27-Mar-13 14:44:22

will out myself here.. basically I dress dd myself, we live in area with extreme weather and a 2 year old doesn't get the option of deciding her clothes for that reason. However she "accessorises" herself on her own. She has a collection of probably hundred Mardi grass type beads dozens of hats and sunglasses and shoes to choose from. I live near a couple pretty amazing charity shops and occasionally go overboard... inevitably she wears her dragon wellies or red sparkly shoes firefighters helmet or Easter bonnet type thingAnd a couple of suprisingly well color coordinated beads. She then tops off her look with putting her sunglasses on sticking both thumbs up and saying aaaay like the Fonz. I find it hilarious I realize it's totally unacceptable or so I have read time to time on mumsnet... but I love it. Ds is still little but been practicing putting in hats.

extracrunchy Wed 27-Mar-13 08:40:42

Ridiculous. And actually quite sad...

Toasttoppers Wed 27-Mar-13 08:40:29

My mother used to dress me up as a child, I am not fashionable at all as an adult.

SofiaAmes Wed 27-Mar-13 08:39:25

My dd has been picking her own outfits and dressing herself since she was 2. She's been designing and making her own outfits since she was 7. I used to get comments from other parents periodically about her clothes not matching. Well, now she is 10 and the other girls and adults all look to her for fashion advice and strangers stop her in the street to compliment her outfits. I can guarantee you that not one of her outfits ever "matched" in a conventional way.
There was the one day in 3rd grade where she had convinced her entire year that wearing deflated red bouncy balls at a rakish angle on your head was the latest style in hats....And the day that a mum texted me to say how hip my dd looked and where did i get her clothes from...I didn't have the heart to tell her that they were hand-me-downs from her dd, just worn in a slightly more unique combination.

noblegiraffe Wed 27-Mar-13 08:38:59

Oh god, is there such thing as fashion for kids? Is Peppa Pig so last season? Is my DS in dinosaurs when he should be in diggers? The shame!

TrinityRhino Wed 27-Mar-13 08:28:22

that woman is not only rude but quite crazy....actually very crazy

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 27-Mar-13 08:15:15

Who makes that kind of comment about a five year old?

sashh Wed 27-Mar-13 08:06:17

At 5 a spiderman costume worn with glittery wellies and a blue tutu is a good look.

margot1962 Wed 27-Mar-13 02:50:18

She's 5! Get a grip on this! Tell her that what you achieve (good at reading)is more important than how you look.

glub Tue 26-Mar-13 23:03:40

you are joking aren't you? like you said, she is 5! who cares as long as she can move and likes it herself. if she's anything like my daughter she will have her own ideas about what she wants to wear - she needn't wear what some old silly woman thinks is right.

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