Mumsnet Talk

While thinking about maternal rights i came across this blog, the latest post is a bit strange.
I dont understand the thinking.
hikinghumanist.com/

Actually i worded that wrong, i know about this blog, i quite like the vigour she seems to have for her beliefs and this latest pst seemed to fit a discussion earlier.

Vigour- except i don't agree - gosh i need an edit button at this time of night!

I think she's of the view (as are quite a few women I know) that mat. leave etc comes under wanting 'more rights than men'.
I don't agree I think that paid parental leave is a good thing, although I think it should be parental rather than maternity leave.

She says: 'Maternity leave? Save your vacation time and save your money, just like anyone else who takes time off. Nine months is plenty of time to prepare and plan. If you can’t do that, you probably shouldn’t be reproducing anyway.' not taking into account that for many mothers/parents saving is almost impossible due to high living costs, you don't get that much holiday and in the UK SMP isn't very high in any case.

It also doesn't take into account that women have to gve birth physically but men don't. So, technically, men can have a job and become parents without having to take a day off or use up their holiday leave. Women do have to have at least some time off in order to become a parent and have a job. Thus men have an advantage over women which maternity leave, in its most basic form, is trying to redress. But, I agree, that it is also good when this is, after the initial physical giving birth it is over with, seen as parental leave which can be shared.

In many jobs you can't carry forward more than a few days holiday from a previous year.

eg In my job I get 5 weeks a year and could carry forward 1, that would mean a 6 week mat leave.

Factor in that many women can't work right up until they go into labour, and on the other side many women have long recovery times, and it's not doable. Even before you think about BF and whether it's desirable to have women make a choice between going back FT (as the author wants) when the baby is 3 weeks old, or giving up her job.

I do not see that as a feminist stance.

I used to feel like this, in fact I used to be militantly childfree (mainly for overpopulation issues, that still concern me) but have somewhat changed my mind.

We need the next generation for many reasons, so it's a fact people will have children. It's in the baby's best interests to have some bonding/settling time with the parents. Currently this time is allocated only to women thus women may miss promotions/pension contributions/not get hired if of childbearing age etc.; so of course it's a feminist issue.

Splitting the parental leave evenly would help redress the balance.

I get what the author's saying about the burden on companies but SMP is already heavily subsidised by the government. Recruiting a temp can inconvenience the company but it's an investment made in the next generation. The generation that will be driving our buses in the future, developing new drug therapies, looking after us in care homes etc.

Hope that gets my views across; I'm not terrible eloquent

She seems rather silly and naive. And no, mothers certainly shouldn't be forced to use their holidays for recovering from childbirth/caesareans.

I disagree with the whole thing about employers being responsible for work/life balance anyway. I think employers do have a responsibility, however slight, for their employees' welfare. People should not have to choose between having a job and having a fulfilling life.

It's just a whole of woman-hating shit.

Especially the bit of the end, where she blames mothers for employer's sexism. If only we didn't demand maternity leave, employers would not be reluctant to take us on!

I was going to post on the blog but just can't be arsed tbh. Someone like this has taken on the idea that having children is a bloody nuisance marginal thing women insist on doing, not integral normal necessity for society, which needs to be structured to enable it to happen without disadvantaging the people who are doing it.

It's the difference between liberal and radical feminism.

It's simplistic and lazy thinking. She's influenced by patriarchal values about what work should be and she may have got some facts wrong (e.g. flexible working = less productivity). D-

Quote from the blog : "Maternity leave? Save your vacation time and save your money, just like anyone else who takes time off. Nine months is plenty of time to prepare and plan. If you can’t do that, you probably shouldn’t be reproducing anyway."

In the country where the blogger lives, annual leave from work is usually less than 15 days.

A maximum of 15 days maternity leave? I don't think that would be best for women. Perhaps the blogger could give 15 days maternity leave a test run during her own pregancy and blog about her experiences of that?

Ok couldn't resist. Have started to argue with her. WHY? Why am I bothering?

<runs off to look>

I wonder whether there's more to her perspective than straightforward social analysis. She has taken against mothers for some reason, in the same way our beloved DM readers take against benefit claimants. She's also unwilling to think about how she's socialised into a patriarchal view of work. Do you want an ally on the comments section?

Ok couldn't resist. Have started to argue with her. WHY? Why am I bothering?

Well done! Never give in!

Arf

Just seen u prom.

I think she's got some kind of hang up tbh so am trying to back away.

Am really confused by why she thinks she's a feminist tbh.

She sounds like she really hates mothers.

Oh PromQueen I think the DM is partial to a bit of mother-bashing too. They like to spread their disdain and misogyny in a large circle . Also going in for a peak...

You're right Abigail, of course! But I suspect their readers would only openly identify with the lovely "single mum of 17 on benefits living in mansion with swimming pool" as actual bashing. The rest passes under the radar!

Good gracious, she's just a reactionary bigot with a pinch of aggressive superiority complex chucked in for good measure. I won't be returning to her blog as I like my blood pressure where it is.

I looked at her 'about' section - she's CFBC which expoains a lot. They are particularly child/mother hating IME (*disclaimer - not all are by any measure but those that are are very intolerant of children and parents. ) and like to tell each other exactly what parents are doing wrong.

What is CFBC?

child free by choice

She doesn't say she's a feminist either does she, she's a humanist, whatever that means.

not sure I get your point but what she does say that feminists who want mat leave etc have got it wrong...'Special treatment for moms just for being moms is NOT feminist.' and 'So thanks, fake-feminist natalism-worshippers. Your attempts to garner special treatment for certain women for their lifestyle choices is creating a huge step backwards for gender-equality, real feminism.'

She's one of those modern feminists who hate women.