I don't know why I bother.....anyone else the same?

(221 Posts)
mcmooncup Fri 08-Mar-13 10:58:30

I use Facebook. Put up funny posts, pictures...bla bla bla.

Everytime I post something I usually get about 30-40 likes.

Yet EVERYTIME I post something vaguely feminist. Blank. Zero. Occasional like.

I find it so depressing. Today I have posted about International Women's Day and linked to the letter in the Guardian.

How do we break down this wall of silence?

Why do people not want to be associated with 'ranty feminists'?

Our communication seems to be very isolating, even though it's not meant to be.

Qu's I ask myself....

Why can people not see what I can see?
Is the harm done to them so 'normal' that they can't see it?
Are they scared of being ostracised into this rad fem group if they speak out?
Are they afraid of losing their families/jobs/attractiveness to males?

I just wondered if we could have a discussion and try and learn what is it that non feminists hear when they hear a feminist talking. It might help us improve our communication.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 08-Mar-13 11:04:22

I don't know,it happens to me too. sad

kim147 Fri 08-Mar-13 11:06:29

I post something on another forum and it's like a moth to a flame as it brings out all the mysoginists.

phdlife Fri 08-Mar-13 11:07:41

fwiw, my uni students, back in the day, tuned right out of my <koff> occasional ranty moment, because they simply didn't believe there was any need for it. Women had achieved equality - there was, apparently, nothing women couldn't do, no wage gap, and how they looked was entirely, 100% individual choice, with no repurcussions - and now us old ranters needed to stop banging on because it was boring, old-fashioned and embarrassing.

All my old fogey friends are "ranty feminists" tho ;)

AbigailAdams Fri 08-Mar-13 11:09:45

Happens to me too (except for all my lovely feminist friends!). To a certain extent I think some people don't want their FB to be political. But I do notice feminist things get a dearth of replies in comparison to other political statements made by friends.

bingodiva Fri 08-Mar-13 11:09:46

i think a lot of feminists come across as a bit nutty, bitter at the whole world and as you say 'ranty' i also feel they try and push their beliefs onto you. i am an adult and have a brain to think for myself - i dont need someone else shoving their belief down my throat at every opportunity - refer back to ranty femenist.

MTSgroupie Fri 08-Mar-13 11:13:12

My friend constantly post environmental stuff on FB. That gets the same (non) response from us, his friends.

I personally don't want to read 'ranty' posts whether it's about feminism, the environment, religion or capitalism. Apparently your friends feel the same.

Slothlorien Fri 08-Mar-13 11:13:45

Some people only respond to posts on fb that are the funny type things you mentioned at the beginning. Do you find that your fb friends reply if you put up anything else 'serious' or raising awareness of any other cause in our society, or is it just the feminist posts that get ignored?
I find humour really helps, there was a funny but poignant Christmas feminist related post about what would have been different if three wise women had arrived at the stable instead of the three wise men and this got a lots of likes.
Difficult though, I can see how frustrating you must feel, and why shouldn't people take a serious issue seriously?! Some issues in our society would never be handled through humour so why this one!
Really don't know what the answer is.
Don't stop posting though, you never know who what is going on for people, even if they don't respond online.

mcmooncup Fri 08-Mar-13 11:14:00

That's it though.....people genuinely believe women have equality....that's the thing I guess.
Why do they think that?

mcmooncup Fri 08-Mar-13 11:15:41

MTS I post something feminist perhaps once a month maximum and always try to be non-ranty. But that's the point, anything feminist is seen as ranty, period.

I rarely "like" funny posts, I find my wall is clogged up with people re-posting other people's funny pics and videos and wish they'd stop, it is a yawn. I do occasionally click "like" on feminist or other equality / political ones. But, yes, there is the feeling that you might be portraying yourself as a bit worthy or superior. I know I think less of one or two of my friends who post stuff that is a bit right-wing for me.

For me it boils down to FB is for chatting and photos, not serious discussion or cartoons.

mcmooncup Fri 08-Mar-13 11:21:25

Bingo....would you expand on that?
Why are feminists nutty and bitter?
I'm genuinely interested as to how you have made that assumption.

Having said that, I think a lot more of a couple of RL friends because of their feminist/equality/leftwing posts, but I don't necessarily bother clicking like. I just wish the jokes and cartoons would not appear in such quantities.

Paleodad Fri 08-Mar-13 11:27:04

very ignorantly, i had not even realised it was Int. Women's Day until a discussion in the playground this morning, and then looked at the guardian.
So, to make up, i've posted that guardian thing on my FB feed....let's see how many 'likes' i get (not expecting many...)

mcmooncup Fri 08-Mar-13 11:29:25

Are you male Paleo?
Anecdotally I think a male posting some fem stuff will be seen as less ranty (and bitter) wink

PromQueenWithin Fri 08-Mar-13 11:30:26

"Why can people not see what I can see?
Is the harm done to them so 'normal' that they can't see it?
Are they scared of being ostracised into this rad fem group if they speak out?
Are they afraid of losing their families/jobs/attractiveness to males?"

Those are brilliant research questions. I don't know if anything has been done to investigate this or any related issues <dashes off to google scholar>

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 08-Mar-13 11:31:00

I'm youngish,early thirties,so I don't think its old fashioned.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 08-Mar-13 11:32:58

There's another point Prom,I don't care about being attractive to males.

PromQueenWithin Fri 08-Mar-13 11:34:02

There was a special issue of Feminism and Psychology in 2001 called Young Women, Feminism and the Future

Looks promising...

Paleodad Fri 08-Mar-13 11:36:46

I am, and slightly wary of posting in FWR.
But, i have (at the moment just one) a DD and would hate her to experience the casual, and not so casual, sexism etc. that i see DW and others experiencing daily (and for that matter, would hate my DS to think it 'normal'). So i try to improve my knowledge a bit by lurking here.
I think you're right in general, a male posting might be seen as less ranty, but unfortunately, most of my FB 'friends' already know me as a ranter!
I occasionally post some political and Fem stuff, but only one person usually 'likes', and he's got a beard so doesn't really count...

MTSgroupie Fri 08-Mar-13 11:37:03

It's not feminism that I have an issue with. I avoid similar FB posts about politics, the environment and religion.

I think a lot of people use FB as light entertainment, so don't tend to want to engage with the heavier stuff.

kim147 Fri 08-Mar-13 11:41:43

OTOH, if someone posts a sexist comment on their FB status, I do let them know.

<Yes, Paul, looking at you>

PromQueenWithin Fri 08-Mar-13 11:42:59

So do I Kim, and sadly there are plenty of opportunities to do so sad

lemonmuffin Fri 08-Mar-13 11:48:25

Some really interesting questions in your op mcmooncup, I'll have a go at answering them if thats ok.

Why can people not see what i can see - the way we all look at situations is subjective, we all see things from a different angle. I would find the suggestion that you can see what I can't as mildly insulting; you're suggesting that you have seen the light whereas as others who disagree with you havent. Puts me off straight away.

Is the harm done to them so 'normal' that they can't see it? See above.

Are they scared of being ostracised into this rad fem group if they speak out?
Not scared, no. Just don't identify with the very few rad fems that I've heard of.

Are they afraid of losing their families/jobs/attractiveness to males?
Nope, no reason why I would lose my family or job. I do like being attractive to males though and getting male attention, and as far as I can see, feminists aren't too keen on that.

Don't know if that helps at all?

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