Dildos & Vibrators

(115 Posts)
kickassangel Wed 06-Feb-13 00:56:12

OK - so in my class about Fraternity & Freemasons last night we ended up with the teacher telling us how the clitoris is the only part of a woman's body that has the nerve endings which will bring about an orgasm. That the vagina doesn't have the right amount of nerves. (Believe me, it made perfect sense for this to happen in a lecture on the history of 1800s freemasons.)

Anyway - my thought was - I get why penetrative sex exists, but WHY do sex shops sell dildos & vibrators?

I've never actually seen either in rl (yes, honestly), so maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't it make more sense for there to be sex toys that stimulate the clitoris, not the vagina?

And yes, the obvious answer is that we're meant to need a man & his penis, so that's what we get sold.

Scrazy Fri 08-Feb-13 12:02:29

Freya, well my friend reckons it feels very different so something else is happening.

FreyaSnow Fri 08-Feb-13 12:16:40

I think that orgasms can feel very different from each other, not just from the part you touch but also the way you touch it. I don't think orgasms from touching the head of the clitoris are very satisfying or strong, although you can have a lot of them very quickly which perhaps is why a lot of women like them. Maybe people who orgasm from penetration are also finding they have stronger orgasms that way.

Fallenangle Fri 08-Feb-13 12:18:09

It feels very different because other nerves in other places are being stimulated as well wheras stimulating the clitoris only doesn't stimulate other nerves. Plus what is going on in your head is different so the feeling is different.

Scrazy Fri 08-Feb-13 12:31:05

It it stronger and apparently there are contractions from deep within, well away from the clitoris. It's a vaginal one alright, nowt to do with the mind.

If mind had anything to do with it, being wooed etc then sex toys wouldn't work for women. A vibe won't buy you dinner and roses first.

Fallenangle Fri 08-Feb-13 12:39:42

But with masturbation goes fantasy, or is that just me? confused

Scrazy Fri 08-Feb-13 12:42:04

No it doesn't it need to, to get there. Or is that just my friend?

FreyaSnow Fri 08-Feb-13 12:42:41

I don't see how you could stimulate any part of the clitoris without stimulating other nerves as well; it is all attached to other body parts. It isn't like a penis which has a large area that is independent of other body parts. Most of the vagina, other than the part surrounded by the lower clitoris, doesn't really have any nerve endings. That's why you can't feel a tampon once it's inserted.

So it would seem obvious that more non-clitoral nerve endings are touched by stimulating the head of the clitoris as it is surrounded by other body parts that are sensitive to touch, rather than the vagina.

In my experience, touching the lower parts of the clitoris (either through penetration or touching the bottom section of the vulva) leads to more intense orgasm, which makes me think it is actually that area of the clitoris which creates stronger muscle contractions. But some women may find the opposite, and in that case it might be a matter of practise - that you can get better orgasms from different areas of the clitoris through improving technique. I don't know, but I don't see how it can be to do with other nerve endings when people get strong orgasms from the vagina, which has few nerve endings.

Casserole Fri 08-Feb-13 12:46:19

OP, go home tonight, look at a few, order yourself some, then delete all your browsing history and cookies. Job done.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:30

Not just you, Fallen.

FreyaSnow Fri 08-Feb-13 12:47:36

This is all very personal. I feel rude asking these questions! Aren't most strong clitoral orgasms felt deep within? I don't have orgasms from penetration mostly, but by touching the external bottom part of my vulva, I feel the orgasm contracting deep within.

I think I need a clipboard so I can go out and do a survey.

Scrazy Fri 08-Feb-13 12:50:37

Freya, imo they are different. But according to some people a myth.

FreyaSnow Fri 08-Feb-13 12:59:00

I think it is stupid to write off other people's physical experiences as a myth. When I was younger I thought there was only one kind of orgasm because I'd only had one kind and the Internet barely existed to tell me otherwise. Now that I'm older and have had more kinds, I think differently. But is also makes me want there to be more 'scientific' studies of how each kind is achieved, what is being stimulated and how they feel different. The more we know the more fun we can have. And there are some women who can't orgasm at all, and maybe they could if there was more information.

Fallenangle Fri 08-Feb-13 13:22:31

Now there is an expeiriment I would volunteer for. <Puts on guinea.pig costume>

Can't some women orgasm purely from nipple stimulation, so all orgasms can't be clitoral?

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:22:02

HH ive had big body shaking ones from that but only when i do it myself. Was too embarrassed to put that on here earlier blush

You can do it yourself??? shock <so jealous you have no idea>. I love having them touched by someone else but touching my own does precisely fuck all...like tickling yourself iyswim. It's probably for the best though as I would never leave the house.

That good morning vibrator thing, how would that work? Surely you couldn't sleep if you had all gadgets in your pants?

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:33:55

HH i have no option. Im married to a man who hasnt touched me for 17 yrs Apart from a one night stand in 98 and a 4 and half year affair which ended 5 yrs ago ive not had any sex or affection since. So i guess ive had to learn to do it myself.

On a lighter note if i had that rooster alarm thing i would end up wasting whole weekends smile

sad darkest that's awful, is there a medical reason for it? Why did the affair end?

Clicked post then realized how inappropriate my questions were. Sorry! ignore!

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:44:38

Its ok my h just isnt interested in that side of things. I tried everything over the years and asked him to go for counselling but he didnt want to.
That was just before my affair.
About 3 yrs ago he said to "do what i need to do but be discreet about it"
But there is no real safe space for women in my position. I considered using extra marital dating but i dont feel that i can do something which could cause hurt to a potential partners children.
It is hard to explain this to potential partners in RL. Most of them would run a mile and i couldnt really blame them.
But i have managed to learn what my own body likes so maybe its not all bad.

I considered using extra marital dating but i dont feel that i can do something which could cause hurt to a potential partners children.

Well not everyone who is married has kids and you could specify that..or look for partners who are old enough that they are unlikely to have kids in the house?

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:57:00

Yes. Its just getting up the guts to do it. I saw a tweet yesterday which said that when online dating the straight womans biggest fear is that they will meet a serial killer. The straight mans biggest fear is that their date will be fat. When i see things like that and the article about that reality stars fiance it makes me wonder if im not better off where i am. I do know not all men are shallow arseholes though.

The straight mans biggest fear is that their date will be fat.

Charming hmm

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 22:01:09

HH someone else tweeted back that those men will be extinct soon anyway as they dont seem to mind dating serial killers.

grin that made me genuinely lol, I never think of things like that when I need them

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