Can Someone Explain Feminism to me.

(201 Posts)
StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 14:16:05

Because I think although it means equality (does it??) the fact the word starts with FEM is not a neutral word.

If it was 'peopleism' I think that would make more sense to me.

There isn't a 'maleism' is there?
Or is that because they don't need it?

I'm not very intellectual and that sounds like a silly question but do you get me?

I have tried to look it up on the internet but it all gets a bit complicated.

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 16:50:36

yay! That used to be me, and a bit shorter too lol.

I love short hair. If I was the ruler all women would have short and all men long.
I do love a surf dude style cut :-)

feministefatale Wed 16-Jan-13 17:03:56

So why are women more feminine with long hair?

I think long hair is seen as a younger woman's hair style, and many women tend to go shorter as they go older. So I think it is down to women being forced to look young no matter their age.

MiniTheMinx Wed 16-Jan-13 17:10:30

This best resembles mine, although mine isn't quite as shiny. I don't do conditioner and fancy shampoo either grin although I don't look like Jessica.

I think also that women sometimes feel pressured to cut their hair shorter at a certain age.

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 17:33:05

the age thing and the feminine thing i think are 2 separate issues.
I think it starts with the long hair, then melts into 'women are less desirable' with age so does it matter if their hair is longer?

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 17:51:33


There's a whole debate about what makes a woman 'feminine' - did you see the huge make up thread in AIBU?

I'm childless / childfree too and hate being 'mommyjacked' too - you might this website


seeker Wed 16-Jan-13 18:13:59

I am considerably older than most people on here- I was a 70s feminist, and I remember when there was a concerted effort to denigrate "women's libbers" back then. The ammunition used was exactly the same as the that used today -hairy legged and man hating. I don't think we are accused of wearing dungarees much now- so I suppose that's progress!

I do have to say if I could go back and tell my 1974 self that we would still be fighting the same battles in 2013, I wouldn't believe myself!

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 18:15:29

OM - the one about the people who got shot then the post saying Ethan was having a nap.
That's some mummyjacking.

I did see the make up thread. (i wear it everyday and cant not. SHHHHH)

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 18:19:40

Well Fact Of The Day is:

I am a feminist.

TerrariaMum Wed 16-Jan-13 18:30:03

Good for you StickEmUp. If I understand correctly, the shaving legs thing is as follows: If you want to shave your legs, you should be able to, but you shouldn't HAVE to.

seeker question that I have been confused about for a while: what if you are married and hairy legged because your DH prefers you in your mammalian state? That is, he loves all of the you he married and doesn't wish you to alter yourself for him because you are gorgeous just as you are. What would backlashers say to that?

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 18:42:59

Haha didnt mean to harp on about the shaving of legs it was just one things that occured to me.
It all makes sense now.

feministefatale Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:37

sunny That's the site I was on about!

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 19:28:35

Hi feministefatale I meant to namecheck you earlier - I knew what you meant straight away. It's one of my favourite sites. smile

feministefatale Wed 16-Jan-13 19:35:40

it's hilarious, haven't been on it for a while though, so that's my afternoon sorted grin

Sunnywithshowers Wed 16-Jan-13 20:22:45

Yay Stickemup by the way smile

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 20:30:34

I wondered if you both ran off without me grin

And thanks. Just look at the wikipedia page shock ... it's got stages of feminism, etc etc blah blah and I didn't get it.

I think the 'do I want control over my vagina' one was quite funny.

marriedinwhite Wed 16-Jan-13 20:48:06

I have no idea.

I think I'm feminine, I like makeup, I like clothes, I like my hair to look nice, I shave my legs, I shave my armpits. I like our home, I love cooking, I adore the dc, I look after my dh and support him and didn't hesitate to take hiss name and say I would obey (why would anyone marry a man they thought would ever asks them to do something unreasonable) and do more at home than he does - but he works much longer hours outside the home.

I worked from 21-35 7-7 on a male dominated trading floor in a man's world and never felt the brush of sexual discrimination. I had a very successful career and could have paid off the mortgage on a small house in sw London by the time I was 34.

I supported DH in the early years of his career - gave up work to look after dc because my money allowed it at the time and to support dh to carve his niche. Had 8 glorious years at home.

Went back to work in 2003 and reinvented myself - started at the bottom, part-time at first and then full and then took prof quals and an mba.

Still do the majority of home stuff with a lot of paid help; children are growing and almost independent; am very glad I have a life outside the home and could totally maintain myself if dh wasn't there. Love the independence of my own money and spending what I like when I like.

My sils call themselves feminist; neither has had a professional job, neither cares about their appearance, neither has much choice, neither has any money, neither is particularly happy and neither have husbands they can depend on but both criticise and both are more than pleased to take a handout from dh. Not the sort of independence I would call feminist.

I don't know - at 52 - I really don't understand what it is or whether I am one or whether I want to be one.

I know I can be independent, I know I can be professionally successful, I know I'm a good mother and a good wife and a good home-maker. I know I have always been able to lay my hands of a few grand and I know I have always been happy and have answered to no-one I have wished not to answer to.

I don't know if I'm a feminist or not but I know I am happy and I know DH is happy.

feministefatale Wed 16-Jan-13 21:06:46

say I would obey (why would anyone marry a man they thought would ever asks them to do something unreasonable)

I don't expect to have to "obey" anyone. If I want to do something and feel it is reasonable, I haven't got to be told to do it.

Why do your sil's appearance have anything to do with feminism, or their jobs? Or husbands? hmm I saw your views on women in the makeup thread, they didn't strike me as feminist. I am very glad you have done well for yourself and haven't delt with sexism first hand. You have been lucky or more likely, socialized to not notice it.

HighBrows Wed 16-Jan-13 21:09:10

Seeker this made me fill up I do have to say if I could go back and tell my 1974 self that we would still be fighting the same battles in 2013, I wouldn't believe myself!

It's sad but true.

HighBrows Wed 16-Jan-13 21:10:06

Seeker I meant to bold you name not strike it out!


HighBrows Wed 16-Jan-13 21:16:34

martiedinwhite I'm very surprised by your post especially on this board.

I think mightn't notice sexism, being treated unfairly etc. I'm truly shocked at the obey bit too.

married What definition of "Obey" are you going by? Because as far as I'm concerned "obey" means to do whatever you are told, no matter what. Reasonable requests or not, doesn't mean you should have to do it. Surely "obey" means that if you DH wants to do something reasonable that you just don't feel like doing then, then you have to do it?

StickEmUp Wed 16-Jan-13 21:32:25

I love my reason for taking my DH name ... I hated my original and loved his.
That's it and on a feminist score I'm not sure where it stands.

I knew it was my choice though and feel as I am child free and I know there will be no hassle with 'passing the name on' so that doesn't matter.

his siblings have had boys, they can have the glory or carrying the name on,

AnyFucker Wed 16-Jan-13 21:36:28

MIW, let me help you out here

I don't know if you abide by "labels" as such especially as you don't seem too fussed about having one and that is fair enough, but almost every post of yours I have seen informs me that you don't hold feminist viewpoints. This one here is no exception.


seeker Wed 16-Jan-13 22:39:21

StickaEmUp- I think the issue I have had with this is I have often heard women say what you said, but I have never heard a man say it. and I have never heard a woman say "I loved my name and hated his, so he took mine"

Just seems odd that it's only women who ever have embarrassing, ugly, hard to spell names..........!

seeker Wed 16-Jan-13 22:40:23

Oh, and as a rule of thumb, any woman who says "obey" in her wedding ceremony is not a feminist.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now