So, I have been messing around with the idea of doing an MA for many years - at least 10. This morning I went and registered to do an MA in Women & Gender Studies. I'm REALLY pleased, excited etc. It's part time, fits in around my job, and the person at the local uni was so helpful and inspirational. She's one of the lecturers so that is all good.
The buyers remorse? Well, I have been discussing this with 'd'h & he hasn't exactly been supportive. I was talking about doing the MA in Educational Leadership, and even then he balked at the money. He doesn't know that I went for the WGS course. We don't talk much, in case that isn't clear. Nor does he do a whole lot around the house or with dd. This is partly WHY I chose the course I did. Mainly I chose it because it's the one I want to do, and the Educational one is for people who really want to be a school principal, whereas I just want to be an excellent teacher, and may go into the management side of things later.
Being harshly realistic, finding the time, money and childcare for this course is going to require a bit of juggling, but it is certainly possible. I have up to 6 years to complete it, and can even take a 2 year break, and/or get an extension on that time, so it's not like I've just signed away the family finances. The course tutor even said that if I was stuck for childcare I could bring dd to lectures and they would get her involved answering questions and drawing on the board.
BUT I can see dh being upset over this. I haven't deliberately kept him out of my decision making, but he takes so little interest in me/my life that I didn't volunteer the information either. Our relationship is such that I have spoken to a divorce lawyer and know roughly how much I would get in child/spousal support from him, and live within that budget (even paying for the MA) so I kind of feel that I am being morally OK on the money side. If he asked I would tell him, but he hasn't even asked if I enrolled or just went to talk to them, even though I was gone about 4 hours. It will involve him having to pick up dd from childcare once a week, but I think he should be willing to do that anyway. If we divorced, he would have to spend more time with her than he currently does, or he would be liable for a whole load more child support than I was quoted by the lawyer.
I'm not even sure that there's any point to this post, except that yay! I'm going to do an MA in a subject I love, and eek! it really could be the final death toll to the marriage. I have no family around me and daren't tell friends yet - waiting for official acceptance although I got a verbal yes this morning.
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
I've just done something big and brave and bold, but now I'm thinking 'oh help'!
kickassangel · 10/11/2012 22:22
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Oh, wow, that sounds brilliant! I hope your DH comes round - but I agree with you, you're morally OK and it does sound as if this isn't an isolated issue. 
The lecturer sounds amazing - it sounds really exciting and like SGM, I'm dead jealous and want to know all about what you'll be studying!
This sounds really exciting kickass. Such a shame you can't enjoy it with your husband. Never mind it could be the kickstart to your new life.
I'm a bit jealous too 
Congratulations!
My mum is a retired Women's Studies lecturer and I think for her one of the most inspiring things about her job was watching her students apply feminism to their own lives. Some of them were able to make the most incredible transformations. Learning of any kind is incredibly empowering - your course sounds ace 
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Congratulations !
Blondenurse, that is a really interesting essay. You ought to share it on the boards when it is done.
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