In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

(433 Posts)

A thread for "I can't believe that just happened to me! In this day and age!"

Yesterday we spent about 40 minutes in a Toyota dealership, looking to spend about $10k on a used car. The salesman only asked DH's name, only wrote down DH's number, and only talked to DH about the cars available. DH kept referring to me, asking my opinion, and generally looking uncomfortable. Eventually DH snatched back his license from the salesman and said "No, I don't think so. Let's go." And as I turned I added "Joe? Thank you for your help today. I work in sales and I wanted you to know that since I walked in here you haven't asked me a single question, or addressed me directly even once. At one point you walked away from me, talking to my husband about the next car you were showing us, so that I couldn't hear what you said. I just want you to know that I earn more than my husband (actually not yet true, but soon will be!), I know more about cars than my husband (v.true), and you acted like I didn't exist. Which is why we're leaving."

When I got into our car, DH was cheering. We drove 5 miles away and bought a nissan.

As we were doing the dishes last night, talking about this, DH said "I do hope you tell Mumsnet about it." grin he knows me so well.

shriekingnora Tue 27-Nov-12 21:49:19

I was at a kids party with all three DC a while ago and there were some extra hotdogs so the parents were tucking in. "Great," I say, "No cooking or washing up tonight". Woman next to me says, "Won't you still have to cook for your DH?" hmm I just looked at her and said, "He's a fully functioning adult, I'm pretty sure he can get himself some food". Apparently she only asked to 'establish who wears the trousers in the relationship'. Right.

At the same party someone else asked if DH had given me a 'little job' in 'his' new business. I am a director, own 50% and work the same number of hours as him. I left the party pretty quickly before I turned into a stepford wife

FunBagFreddie Tue 27-Nov-12 21:17:25

I was rather offended by my martial arts teacher.

There is a 3day seminar abroad next year, and he keeps badgering me to go and take DS. Now, the cost of accomodation and flights for me and DS would be around £600. Tbh I can go and stay with my family in France for 2 weeks for that much and I'd rather do that, I've already allocated my holiday budget for the next 12 months anyway.

I told martial arts teacher chap that I didn't think we could stretch to it and he said - "earn your own money" - in front of the class. I was fecking furious, I do earn my own money! Wtaf?!! hmm Me and DS don't really fancy going, and I can think of other things I'd rather spend £600. I'm so pissed off that I probably won't go back now.

tarantula Tue 27-Nov-12 14:36:52

dd has just brought home a Christmas song to learn. It goes something like
Mary: I've got nothing to wear
Joseph: Don't worry
Mary: Look at the state of my hair
Joseph: Don't worry

Company producing such wonderful songs is http://www.outoftheark.co.uk/

Out of the ark is about right! I despair I really do

Nope, definitely not that. Unless it's a new policy that they've implemented just for that one game. All of their other pre-owned games are priced according to title rather than age/state

HalloweenNameChange Tue 27-Nov-12 14:17:53

Would it genuinely not be due to the age of the dvd as it's used? Becasue that's insane.

Just seen this on a games news site, apparently the exact same game is worth less when it has a female character on the cover. Yep, that's right, the only difference is the gender of the character on the cover.

HalloweenNameChange Tue 20-Nov-12 18:43:06

I can kind of see where the shops use the sexist sales pitch to children. They want the kids to see something for girls or boys.. you sell twice as much. It makes sense financially.

I can't get my head round the idea of them telling adults what to buy. If a grown woman is interested in camera she isn't going to buy a knitting magazine to be like the other girls, she doesn't knit. confused Why not just have a hobby section? or if you insist on having mens and womens section just put Nutz and FHM in there for those of who would choose to avoid anyway. It just seems counter intuitive to make people feel uncomfortable about their purchases. The patriarchy has made it clear that men aren't supposed to want to take part in activities that are seen as "female" so if the man does want the knitting mag..he may not buy it when he has to buy it in the women's section. He won't then buy the camera mag because its in the mesn section. He'll walk out empty handed.

Got an email today from a magazine company inviting me to look at their Xmas offers, seeing as I read a couple of their publications regularly I thought I'd have a look.

Was not impressed to see they had these two categories, men's magazine and women's magazines. Now while I appreciate the fact they have put some magazines in both categories, it does make me question why they felt the need to have the categories at all, and why women are expected to be crafty and men are expected to be musical?

I also liked the descriptions
For men
There’s a wide range of men’s magazines available on MyFavouriteMagazines. Whether you’re interested in Gaming or Film, Photography or Technology, Cycling & Triathlon or Music
For women
We have a great selection of women’s magazines at MyFavouriteMagazines, including a wide selection of stitch and craft magazines, from knitting to papercraft, to cross stitching and scrap-booking.

So the men are offered a range of very different hobbies and interest and women are offered crafts. But at least it's a variety of crafts hmm

HalloweenNameChange Tue 20-Nov-12 16:14:05

It just doesn't make sense..men don't wear cologne or read? women don't wear watches or like phones, DVDs?

HalloweenNameChange Tue 20-Nov-12 16:12:44

Also under the mens section it gives you further black Friday deals for audio and electronics etc. Immediately under the womens gifts further deals for clothes.

HalloweenNameChange Tue 20-Nov-12 16:10:52

From Amazon.com today.
4 categories for each gender.

Black Friday Savings on Gifts for Him
WATCHES
CAMERA,PHOTO, VIDEO
MOVIES&TV
SPORTS AND OUTDOORS

Black Friday Savings on Gifts for Her
JEWELRY
BEAUTY
GROCERY AND GOURMET
BOOKS

grumpyinthemornings Tue 20-Nov-12 15:10:28

I was a receptionist from leaving school right up until I had DC1. I hated it, and I was terrible at it, since I'm not remotely organised. I was ecstatic when I left, and yet when I mention that I'm planning to go back to work, people still ask if I'll go back to that hmm it's not so bad when it's strangers, but people who know me well, and know how scatterbrained I am...

On the plus side, DP is brilliant at calling shop assistants etc when they're being sexist. If they address him instead of me, he'll turn to me and say "I don't understand any of this, darling, why don't you handle it?" and wander off, leaving the very embarrassed person with me grin.

RibenaFiend Sun 14-Oct-12 12:44:54

Just a nice post. There's enough crap for us to deal with out there grin DP and I went shopping for my new car yesterday. (Testdrives next weekendgrin) We visited 4 different dealerships and (by what now appears to be a miracle!) I was treated like an equal, intelligent, human being in every dealership. My DP wondered off at points to look at different models when I was speaking to the sales men (yes, they were all men... ) and on the one moment the salesman asked DP a question about "the spec you are both looking for" he politely replied "I'm not sure, this is ribena's car, not mine" I love my DP. He's very aware that occasionally people see "man" and assume "responsible" and takes great delight in proving otherwise when people are wrong. I can only hope our DC's learn the same values. DP cooks as much as I do, he does all the ironing (his shirts and he's a big boy now!) we share the cleaning 50/50 and don't have gender assigned "roles" we're a team. I do DIY and he decorates cakes and we work as a team. We laugh at the "poor silly people" who obviously don't think that Ribena knows what she's asking for in B&Q!!!

Love and strength people! You can be assertive without being rude and break the stereotypes these poor people see fit to apply. wink

blonderthanred Sun 14-Oct-12 12:00:04

A man was trying to sell me a phone/internet/tv package on the phone, it was something I was interested in so listened to his spiel. Until he said the TV recording service was good because I could use it for my soaps and my husband could use it for sport.

I did not take him up on his kind offer.

Argh Singing that would have really got my goat!

And thanks dig - I am very lucky. And so's he smile

An electrician I'd called to do some work in my house addressed my new DP instead of me when he was arranging a time to come back, but before I could explain he didn't live with me (didn't even know me well at that point), he'd told the electrician that date would be fine. He didn't even know what my schedule was!

digerd Fri 12-Oct-12 21:42:12

WOW< BLACKCURRENTS What a perfect DH you have, and you are rather special too. Good on you both, now that's how a partnership should be.

meddie Mon 08-Oct-12 12:32:52

Silly little one, but really riled me.
Went into local shop for a few bits and at the end asked for a lighter. The guy roots around under the till and presents me with the lighter while saying "there you go I found you a pink one"
I told him I hated pink and would much prefer a blue or green one thanks.
I,m 46 ffs why would I want a pink lighter?

Ooh yes, men commenting on your body.

Because it's public property, don'cha know.

Yeuurrgh.

enimmead Sat 06-Oct-12 19:35:46

Had some men round to repair the gutters yesterday. Told them I was going to the gym. "What are you going to the gym for, you don't need to lose any more weight". Then some comments later about food - and an offer of where he'd take me to fill me up.

Somehow I don't think he'd comment on a male customer's weight.

UptoapointLordCopper Sat 06-Oct-12 19:26:58

Not only men talk about "making an effort". I don't do makeup, but always hear people say, for example, that they only put on make up when they "want to make an effort". What does that mean? I've been puzzling over that... Is our natural state not enough of an effort?

GuybrushThreepwodWasHere Sat 06-Oct-12 17:51:20

Wild I understand your frustration. I hate it when blokes say 'oh well she didn't make much of an effort' when they clearly don't groom/dress to the level that they would expect said female to groom/dress!

Only a relatively minor irritation compared to many on this thread but I have been holding this in for three days so hope it's ok to use this space to release the pressure.

My father was reminiscing about his friend who I remember being around when I was in my teens nearly thirty years ago. An interesting man, I was enjoying the memories brought up. He had a girlfriend when we first knew them. My parents went to their wedding. In my Dad's words "She was nice enough, but very plain. She didn't make the most of herself". Her plainness was commented on more than once. My memories are of a beautiful young woman.

I am over weight and I don't wear make-up. My hair is its natural salt and pepper colour. I look quite like a female version of my father. Not a huge surprise by any means but I know now that I am judged for looking like me purely because I am a woman. angry

I would normally challenge him but couldn't on this occasion due to the circumstances (don't want to out myself).

SiSiTD Sat 29-Sep-12 00:19:01

I work in hospitality and everyday I get a comment or two that pisses me off.

My biggest bug bare is when myself and other female colleagues are referred to as girls, we are women, just like the male members of the team are men.

Also, recently, male punters have chastised other punters for swearing, not because they are offended but because a young 'girl' such as myself should not hear such language hmm. I'm 23 and can hold my own with the most crude of chefs.

If any female staff are carrying crates of bottles through the bar we will be inundated with offers of help, none of the male staff get this, despite a couple being far less physically strong than myself.

With regards to the payment thing - I will always hand the bill to the person who requests it, if I have offered up the bill I will slide it on the table not at a person. When taking payment, if it is not obvious, I will ask who's card it is.

I was a bit hmm when I was told that that it's company women should be served first, I reckon it will be changed soon as after a corporate meal the C.E.O of the company who were dining approached me and asked why I served her first as it was clear that she was the one entertaining all male client, I relayed the policy and voiced my disgust at it and told her to make a written complaint, she assured me she would.

TakingTheStairs Fri 28-Sep-12 22:32:49

I fully agree pfft. That's exactly why I was getting cross, the suggestion that such a "lowly" job would only be suitable for a woman. My COO (female) asked the top Partner (male) if he had any issue with the new temp being male and he said of course not.
Thankfully it's just one idiot with the attitude and because the top guy doesn't have that attitude it holds the idiot back a little from being as rude as I'm sure he'd like.

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