Spiders and varying levels of patheticness

[MMMarmite]

Reading the thread about wussy women made me realise that my levels of bravery or patheticness seem to vary massively depending on who I'm with.

If there's a huge spider in the room:

When I'm with my dad, brother or someone else who seems like the kind of person happy to pick up spiders (probably men more often, but not necessarily) I'm: "Aaaaah! Mahoosive spider! Get rid of it!"

On my own: "Ugh spider." [shudder] I pick it up with newspaper and take it outside, or try to ignore it.

When I was working as a camp counsellor in a bunk of screaming 11 year-old girls, or any other time the people around seem more wimpy than me: "Come on, it's only a spider." I calmly approach spider, pick it up with bare hands and carry it outside.

Does anyone else do this? Can anyone explain why I do this?

[SeaHouses]

Some people are more fearful of certain things than other people are.

If there was a wasp in the room, I would sort it out because I'm not that bothered by them and DH is. If it were a spider, he'd get rid of it because I am more fearful of them than he is.

So I'd do the same as you. I'd remove a spider if an 11 year old was scared, but if DH was there I'd get him to do it. It is like a hierarchy of fear! The least frightened/uncomfortable person in a specific situation gets to do the frightening thing.

[LittleAlbert]

Frankly if I am alone and there is a spider in the front room, I will barricade myself into another room until DP chucks it out or the toddler eats it.

[MMMarmite]

Lol littlealbert!

SeaHouses that makes sense. But I feel like I'm not always frightened the same amount by spiders - when other people are very frightened, I feel more brave. Maybe it's a protective instinct thing. Or maybe I just enjoy the impressed looks on their faces [brush], whereas my brother wouldn't think picking up spiders was anything to be impressed about.

[SeaHouses]

If there is someone who is coping less well, you feel obliged to make out that it really isn't frightening at all. I have made reassuring speeches to children (but I am secretly still quite frightened) in caves deep underground, and on the pirate ship at Chessington world of adventures.

[LittleAlbert]

Chessington's Pirate ship is indeed v.v.scary.

[TeiTetua]

Funny, isn't it. You'd think courage and panic would both be contagious, but in this case it's the opposite. Would that be true for everyone, one wonders?

Or maybe it's a tendency to slip into expected roles. Camp counsellor has to be calm and practical. Woman in presence of male relatives (or possibly women, if known to take charge in difficult situations) has to behave so as to encourage them to display their heroism. Woman on her own does what has to be done without a fuss.

[MMMarmite]

"Or maybe it's a tendency to slip into expected roles. Camp counsellor has to be calm and practical. Woman in presence of male relatives (or possibly women, if known to take charge in difficult situations) has to behave so as to encourage them to display their heroism. Woman on her own does what has to be done without a fuss."

That could be it.

[rosy71]

I'm afraid I am so pathetic with spiders that if I am on my own, I have to just leave the room. Last year one was in the bedroom and dp was out so I slept on the sofa until he returned. I have managed to stop shrieking at the sight of one because I didn't want the children to be scared of spiders. Unfortunately, whilst ds1 is OK, ds2 screams hysterically at the sight of one. Whenever a spider has appeared in my classroom, I have had to dash out of the way and ask whether there's a child who can remove it. Usually there is!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Used to scared of spiders until I got cats. They brought so much mangled wildlife through the cat-flap that spiders seem positively cuddly by comparison. Yes.... do stop playing the fainting damsel in distress just because men are present. Hate women that do that.

[samandi]

TeiTetua - exactly. Women are conditioned to act like that in the presence of men to make them feel brave and strong.

[epicfail]

wait.... you have big spiders there? How big are we talking?

If DH is here he will remove them.
I tend to hoover them up then leave the hoover outside. I have to deal with them, even though I will be shaking and sweating, as I can't stand the thought of one 'disappearing' inside the house if I were to leave it alone. I have to know it is OUT, or dead.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"Women are conditioned "

Ahem.... some women are conditioned. I'm a woman and I don't act like a spineless idiot just because men are present, thanks.