Men Who Buy Sex

[BillyBollyBandy]

There is a thread in Relationships that may be of interest - if that's the right word to use about such a damaging subject

link

[Beachcomber]

Thanks for the link but I'm not sure if I have the stomach for this one. I see that The Poppy Project which provides support for women trafficked into prostitution is being slagged off for example.

Two of the authors of the report are Melissa Farley and Julie Bindel - possibly two of the most experienced women in the field of prostitution research we currently have.

I might copy and paste the introduction of the report though - someone needs to in order to point out the twaddle that has been posted about the validity of the research.

[BillyBollyBandy]

Please do, you clearly have far more knowledge than me, and I think maybe anyone the thread, on the subject.

[KRITIQ]

No, can't be arsed. I imagine the waters on that thread are full of trolls.

[swallowedAfly]

i've had a read and i'm afraid i really cba either. more than happy to talk about it here but the main poster on that thread is completely ignoring evidence in order to keep up with the make believe of the happy hooker mythology. nothing will change that, especially with a handmaiden fawning over them. sorry. worn out from talking to these kinds of people.

great post from you on the realities of abuse history - no chance of really getting into that on there.

am trying to remember where/who/what the brilliant lecture i saw on this recently was. think i may have posted it on fb so will look and see if i can find it to link here - fantastic evidence about the effects of legalisation versus the swedish model.

[swallowedAfly]

here long but very good.

[messyisthenewtidy]

Swallowed. Thanks for the link. Am watching it in bits (a lovely way to pass a Sunday ). So far it is an excellent clarification of the various aspects of prostitution. She's pretty inspiring...

[Malificence]

There is an agenda, a disturbing one at that, behind that thread on relationships, I'm sure of it.

[swallowedAfly]

it's very comprehensive messy - i felt way more informed afterwards and felt it was clear that the facts are extremely clear. i find it hard to believe that anyone who really bothered to inform themselves would think legalisation was a valid route. therefore i find it pretty clear anyone who does think that hasn't bothered to inform themselves. often they're not willing too either - it's a pet opinion and they don't want it challenged by reality.

[CardgamesFTW]

I'm real glad this place has a Women's rights section. Really disturbing when peple post with an pro-prostitution agenda on the relationships board where I have seen women who have asked for advice after they've found out that their man have visited prostitutes. Maybe they don't want it to be a dealbreaker?

[swallowedAfly]

maybe - maybe they don't want to face what their husbands patronage of the sex industry in one way or another really means.

[BillyBollyBandy]

I think I fell for a clanger - thought people on there actually wanted to discuss it, but where I disagreed my point was ignored and another issue raised as an aside.

Some really disturbing attitudes on that thread.

[Beachcomber]

I haven't been back to the thread. I can imagine how it is turning out though.

I think one of the problems is that discussions about this sort of thing, outwith feminist spaces, involve having to explain ad nauseam basic concepts like the feminization of poverty, male dominance, coercion, trafficking, what rape is, etc.

And then all of the above will be ignored and I will be accused of being a man hater.

And I doubt the report (which is very interesting, I have read it before) will be discussed other than to perhaps accuse its authors of being biased.

[allthequeensmen]

I started the thread over there as I thought I'd be preaching to the converted over here. Gotta say I was disappointed to read Teeb's account of her/ her friend's experience of the Poppy Project, I hope I have not caused any offence in my response to Teeb. As stated the Poppy Project were perfectly appropriate when I called them on behalf of a client.

I have just gone back to the thread to clarify my position as the OP:

"the vast majority of prostituion is exploitation and as explored in this thread, even where women DO purport to enter in to prostitution willingly there is a clear link with childhood sexual abuse.

With regards to the punters, I believe the majority to be misogynistic bullies who get off on power and control. In my experience (as a human and as a child protection social worker), men who pay for sex, domestic violence perpetrators and chid sex offenders all fit a similar psychological profile.

Lastly, I am hugely passionate about rights of people with disabilities (sibling has down syndrome and have worked in this area also) but I don't believe for one second that their rights trump that of exploited women. I think many disabled people would share my view"

Sadly there doesn't seem to be any actual discussion about the content of the report, instead it has descended into a misinformed debate about the 'rights' of disabled men to have sex. Thread fail :(

[msrisotto]

Hey, you guys have done a great job of being informative for all the lurkers though, well done!