Hangover 2

[WakeUpRosemary]

I'm at the PILs for a couple of nights and am sitting with them while in the other room my husband, SIL, her fiancé, my two BILs and one of their girlfriends are watching The Hangover 2. I saw the first one, realised it was a misogynistic piece of crap and I've read that the second one is even worse. I just can't sit there and watch it with them. When I left, I just said I thought the first one was shit so I'd give it a miss. Was told by soon-to-be BIL that it was great, replied, 'no, it was shit' and walked out to titters. Been here since yesterday and so far heard a racist comment from BIL and a joke about gay people. Last year (the last time I was here) there was a joke about hitting women. I don't want to be ornery but I find it really hard to deal with. What do other people do in these situations? I don't see them that often do don't know them well enough to actually talk to them. I told MIL about the child abuse issue in the film but that's all.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think you stick to your guns.... you said you didn't find the film funny and that's a valid statement. If they're telling bad-taste jokes, making racist remarks you're entitled to say you find it offensive rather than suffer in silence. If it means various family members poke fun at you, that's really their problem for being so childish. Doesn't matter that you don't know them very well.

As long as you don't lecture or hector (no-one likes that) and as long as you don't expect them to change attitudes overnight, carry on being assertive. It's not the same as being 'ornery' :)

[lollygag]

It's just a comedy.It's not meant to be taken seriously (like the equal pay act).

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

My family were about to watch something with Peter Andre in it over Christmas. I grabbed the TV remote, said something about 'self-publicising talentless nonentity prostituting his children for material gain' (dead eloquent on sherry I am) and there were a few raised eyebrows but I was not challenged. Ha!!!

[lollygag]

Excellent.You should have sherry more often!

[flippinada]

WakeupRosemary I find this sort of stuff hateful as well. I just state plainly that I find it offensive and don't like it.

You know, we (by which I men decent, thoughtful people) always worry about offending people like your BIL, without stopping to consider that they (by which I mean tossers) clearly don't give a flying feck if they offend us or not.

Cogito agree with you about Peter Andre. Blee.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It brings out the grumpy old woman in me. Pass the Amontillado!!!!

[lollygag]

It's 11 o'clock in the morning you can't have sherry now! Have a couple of lagers and it will be afternoon in less than an hour.Then you can have a sherry.

[SardineQueen]

I'd probably take a book / laptop next time and for an easy life say I'd already seen it and read or MN instead or retire to my room and read and MN. Or say worn out / hungover and go to room and read or whatever. Or say you're going to go and have a bath.

I wouldn't make a big song and dance of it as you're not going to change them and it will make it all hard work every time you go to see them. But then I'm not very confrontational!

[WakeUpRosemary]

Thanks everyone. I'm not that confrontational either but it was just watching it on top of the other comments was too much for me. I suppose realising that the ILs and I have practically nothing in common is depressing. I ended up watching the film 'Doubt' about a possibly paedophile priest with my uber-Catholic MIL which was comfy.

[lisianthus]

Go Cogito!

WakeUpRosemary, i totally get where you are coming from. I saw the first film with DH, and both of us thought it was horrible (particularly the child sexual abuse scene which was played for laughs and about which there have been articles explaining that they had to wait for the mother of the baby to leave the room so they could get the father to allow it as he was a pushover fan).

I've also heard that the second one is even worse, so I'd be a bit uncomfortable being in a house full of people who thought it was hilarious and titter at you when you say you aren't keen. Hope you are escaping and going home soon!