I could say 'bad for people', but let's stick with women right now.
I'm perhaps hypocritical because I do tend to mind my own business and advise others to do this often, but I've been thinking lately -- I wonder if a lot of bad and painful things that women go through could be avoided or at least mitigated if there wasn't such a dominant cultural idea that everyone should mind their own.
For example, the first guy I lived with, when I was 20, turned out to be abusive and pretty psycho. After we broke up all my friends said, Oh good, I thought it was such a big mistake for you to move in with him. Now, I understand why they didn't say anything, but at the same time I can't help but think that if everyone had been honest I would have reconsidered what I was doing.
Or, I think about an acquaintance from years ago, whose live-in partner had a long-term affair -- all of their friends knew about it, even I knew about it and I barely knew her. I ended up telling her what was going on (long story) she threw the bum out and got rid of all her friends (we became great friends though!)
When I read so many threads here on MN, I wonder if a lot of heartbreak couldn't be avoided if people actually spoke up and told their friends or family what they thought or knew about their partners.
In a way, isn't 'mind your own business' a conspiracy of silence? One that cheating, abusing, lying, addicted, selfish, etc. men take advantage of to get over on women?
(disclaimer: and of course that women use to maltreat men)
But, would we like to see a world in which people didn't mind their own business? Because that could be kind of a nightmare too.
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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
Do you think our 'mind your own business' culture is bad for women?
13 replies
dreamingbohemian · 22/12/2011 09:27
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