How should I respond to this..?

[thenightsky]

Well what would you do really? I moderate a car forum. I am the only female on the mod team. I do get treated equally and with respect. Occasional sexist posts get jumped on quick by me and equally by my fellow male mods.

However, tonight a female member has made a rather flippant post (I guess without thinking).

Her car is giving her electrical problems... she asked what anyone thought it could be and how much would it cost to fix. A male replied with a sensible reply. Her response was..... (cut and pasted this bit)... 'could i have that in English !!! i'm female !!! lol'

Am I being a bit unreasonable or touchy to think I should respond to this in some way? Perhaps PM her and say.... erm... what?

I just feel she is letting all the women on the site down really. I have worked hard to get this motoring site a place where women can feel comfortable that they won't be patronised or treated like little girls.

When I first read her post I was actually fuming with her.

[thenightsky]

Perhaps I should have put this in AIBU

[SolidGoldVampireBat]

I think that picking her up on it in any way will cause more trouble than good: she will strop and start complaining about being 'bullied off the site by humourless feminists'. Just ignore.

[thenightsky]

Solid.. you wouldn't just PM her and say she is not helping our status on the site or anything?

[funnypeculiar]

I don't think I'd PM her - but I might post a sensible comment on the thread - building on the bloke's response and add a or summat.

[thenightsky]

funny... i like your style - i might just do that!

I was awful tempted to edit her post to something sensible (rewrite it). But I was a bit blinded by general raising of blood pressure when I first read it.

[Wooooooooooooooppity]

Yes I'd do what FP says and I'd prob be a lot more cutting but that's just me. (Wd say something along the lines of "being female doesn't make me thick and I'm not prepared to pretend to be thick to be liked by men".

But that is prob a bit aggressive. [hgrin]

[thenightsky]

Wooooo... yes, that was the way I was thinking of going to start with!

[messyisthenewtidy]

I'd be nice to her because she obviously feels embarrassed about her level of knowledge, then I'd recommend a car maintenance book that will explain all the technical terms.

I know it's massively annoying for you because you are obviously very car-competent and you don't want to be tarred with the same brush, but loads of women don't know much about cars because they were never taught as kids in the same way their brothers were. So I would take pity on her and recommend she educate herself with the help of a good book. You could tell her to ask you any questions if she's unsure and make it known that you are female.

[funnypeculiar]

:-) I also think it's important that it's a public post - makes the the fact it's not OK to say "I'm a woman therefore incapable" clearly out there - rather than keeping that message off board.

[thenightsky]

indeed messy hopefully she will stick around the site long enough to learn she doesn't have to actually use the silly little girl act in order to ask questions. Other members who are not female ask the same questions.

Woooo - loving your last post on the pistonheads thread

[Rollon2012]

I dont think its serious enough for any of that shes only making herself look stupid, just leave her to it tbh,

[Tchootnika]

As funnypeculiar says...
There's no harm in putting a public post in as response to her post from e.g. 'thenightsky - your (female) moderator'.
Perhaps it hasn't dawned on the poor love that other women are driving and maintaining their cars (and able to discuss it on line too!)
By doing this you might help develop her confidence and inspire her to untangle her little brain a bit.