"You need a man to..."

[DontCallMePeanut]

Well, according to my darling mother, I "need a man" to put up a new rail for a new net curtain I'm putting up in my living room... Ahem. I have the choice of, for now, asking my brother in law or one of my exes to do so... Apparently. I told her all I need to do is borrow, or maybe even buy a drill, and she responded with "but it's not the done thing for a woman"

Just wondering what corkers you've heard recently?

[Chrysanthemum5]

Not quite the same but when I split with my abusive, controlling ex-H my (thankfully now ex) BIL kindly explained to me that my marriage might have survived if I had been better at obeying my husband. Fortunately my DH is apparently willing to overlook my shocking lack of obeying!

[SinicalSal]

Chrysanthemum

[thisisyesterday]

oh i often "need a man..." to do jobs i'd rather not do myself

i seem to (thankfully) not get much of the genuine "ooooh you need a man to do that" kind of stuff from anyone actually... i wonder why? maybe i look very manly and capable myself?

[buzzsore]

Oh, tell her you're buying this nice pink drill.

[DontCallMePeanut]

:( Chrysantheum.... IL's and sometimes our own families are a bit shit sometimes... Quotes from the first time I left abusive ex-P

"If you hadn't been breastfeeding, ex-P wouldn't have felt so left out." (From mother)
"Grrr, I'm not suprised he hit you!" (From DB after an arguement)
"Well, I think you're over-reacting by pressing charges" (Again, from mother)

[Chrysanthemum5]

Yup he belonged to a church that said men were head of the household and women had to obey. I asked my sister if she really agreed with it and she said a man should consider his wife's views but the final decision was his and had to be followed! They have split up now and my sister is in a much stronger state of mind. In her/my defence we grew up in a very abusive life so it's taken us a while to set our boundaries and expect respect.

[Chrysanthemum5]

Peanut - sorry you had those comments from the people who should have been supporting you

[AliceWhirled]

Own mole grips.

[DontCallMePeanut]

Buzzsore, unfortunately it's unavailable :( Shame, I love pink

TIY I highly doubt that

[DontCallMePeanut]

Chrys Likewise. But glad your ex is, well, your ex. And likewise for your sister.

[SinicalSal]

I don't have a problem with it when it's about a task requiring physical strength.

[buzzsore]

[pelts peanut with a plethora of pink pebbles]

It seems to be available from here. (Don't know the site, was just googling, so can't vouch for it).

[DontCallMePeanut]

Aye, Sinical, when it's physical strength, then likewise, but only if there's no way on earth I could do it myself. But not just to conform to gender stereotypes. I might make sure I have a drill to hand next time she visits

[DontCallMePeanut]

Much nicer than my BIL's 'orrible black and orange one. TY, Buzzsore

[SinicalSal]

Sometimes I find it difficult to reconcile my feminist principles with my innate laziness.
tis easier by far to twirl my hair winsomely than learn a new skill, and work up a sweat.
joking.

But, the bit about learning a new skill is relevent, I think. DH has a lifetime's headstart on me when it comes to car maintenance, say. I could google and puzzle it out, can't be that hard. But he can just go and sort it in ten minutes. (Which is fine and dandy if it's not the choice between me doing it and it not being done at all, obv)

I don't think it's the division of tasks into men's and women's that annoy me, on a micro level. Rather, it's the discrepency in value placed on it depending on who normally performs it.

[DumSpiroSpero]

My mum asked me last week why I needed a vibrator when I have DH !

[Fifis25StottieCakes]

If you want something done properly, do it yourself. I fitted my friends roller blinds last week (i was doing a trial run) before i do mine. It was the 1st time i have used a drill and i was dead impressed with myself.

Thres not much i cant do round the house. The only thing i hate is flat packed fooking furniture. I can do it, i just dont want to so that gets left to a man.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

I do (and luckily have) need a man to do all the things I hate doing which is basically any DIY task.

[ChristinedePizan]

I love putting together flat pack furniture, I own two drills and can change alternators and fan belts on cars. None of that requires any strength at all.

My mantra is 'if it something that doesn't require years of training and I can look it up in a DIY book, it isn't that hard'

[TrilllianAstra]

... provide sperm if you want to reproduce.

Anything else you don't need a man to do, but you might like one to do it. :)

[TrilllianAstra]

Our net curtain isn't even on a rail, it's on a bit of elasticy stuff which is held up by a twisty thing that just screws into the wall, I don't think there was any drilling involved.

(it was like that when we got here, obvs I would know if drilling was involved if I'd been here when it was put up)

If you are drilling I highly recommend getting someone to stand right by you with the hose attachment of the hoover pinted at the drill- it stops wall dust getting everywhere.

[DontCallMePeanut]

Oooh, but I'm weird. I love doing flat-packed furniture. And DIY. Sod the housework, I'm happier hammering away at things...

Dum, why do you need DH if you have a vibrator?

[ChristinedePizan]

Yes me too! I would much rather construct things than vacuum. You really, really need a drill. Honestly, they are brilliant :o

[DontCallMePeanut]

Trillian, thanks for the tip... I'll hire a male friend for that, just to really piss Mum off... "Oh yes, I got Billy round to help... he held the hoover, whilst I drilled the holes... He even hoovered up and dusted afterwards"

[BerylOfLaughs]

Well I have TWO drills so that when one needs recharging I can use the other.
DH doesn't even know where they are kept. I also have a chainsaw which is great fun to use.
Nevertheless family regularly try to talk to DH about DIY or cars, he just glazes over. Despite me telling them I do the DIY they just don't believe me .