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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

How can we stop women being killed like this (very upsetting)?

96 replies

BitOfFun · 30/03/2011 12:10

Henan Ahkter was only fourteen years old Sad

What the fuck is going on that the world can stand by and allow this kind of thing to carry on?

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BitOfFun · 30/03/2011 12:11

Sorry her name is mis-spelt there, that was an auto-correct.

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MitchiestInge · 30/03/2011 12:13

Am not going to click that link, thanks for warning, but let me guess - stoning? Honour killing?

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BitOfFun · 30/03/2011 12:19

100 lashes, for 'adultery', which was actually rape following sexual harassment.

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BitOfFun · 30/03/2011 12:20

In Bangladesh too, which is supposed to be a moderate Muslim state, and where Sharia is actually illegal.

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MitchiestInge · 30/03/2011 12:25

I don't know. Makes me think I hate this world and I don't want to live in it. Least helpful response possible.

How can people, knowing these things happen, think there is no need for an active women's rights movement today though?

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 30/03/2011 12:39

I know, Mitchy. :(

This thread should be linked to that "I don't get The Patriarchy" thread - right down to the younger brother (the girl's dad) having to shut up because it concerned his older brother. FFS.

We can do something though - write letters to MPs for one. If a fraction of MNers wrote to their MP to demand that the govt put pressure on foreign govts, especially those to whom we give aid, it would have an effect

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MoChan · 30/03/2011 12:41

Stuff like this fills my head, and I get enraged, and weep, and shake my fists. But I don't know what to do, either. Everything I actually do in my attempts to change the world (letter writing, petitioning, marching) seem so utterly futile.

"How can people, knowing these things happen, think there is no need for an active women's rights movement today though?"

Agree, Mitchiest.

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AyeRobot · 30/03/2011 12:52

Angry

E&M is right, we need to be active within our own system and use our western privilege to create pressure on our own governments as well as contributing to organisations that are working in these areas. And it's an important counterpoint to the "we don't need feminism in this country". If it were so, it would not be such an uphill struggle to get cases like this (or pretty much any women related issue) on the agenda.

To contact your MP

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Mamaz0n · 30/03/2011 12:56

I work with minority families and the stories some of the women i support tell me of their homelands makes me want to cry.

After every story i thin i have heard it all but next visit i am shocked again.

sadly the mistreatment of women in some cultures is appalling even here in the UK.

Quite often i will report back to my superiors about their treatment and i am saddened by the realitty that as it is common within that culture we are powerless to do anything. We are to turn a blind eye almost.

If the same treatment was being given to a white western woman we would be taking active steps to remove her from the abuse, but often if we did the same we would run the risk of breaking down the very shaky trust we have spent years building within these communities.

The answer is education education education. but it is something that will take centuries to eradicate. We can only work one woman at a time.

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Unrulysun · 30/03/2011 12:59

Mamazon I have to say I have no idea what 'the shaky trust you have built with these communities' is for if you can't help vulnerable people within them.

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sethstarkaddersmackerel · 30/03/2011 13:02

I don't know what we can do.
remove aid, the women will suffer.
economic sanctions, the women will suffer.
military action like Afghanistan, the women will suffer. it is hopeless.

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MitchiestInge · 30/03/2011 13:06

well all this apathetic hand wringing is not helping (I refer exclusively to self)

do people really write to their MPs? Is it anything more than a conscience salving exercise?

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Mamaz0n · 30/03/2011 13:17

Unrulysun - I am thinking of the muslim/hindi/traveller communities specifically.

Just to be allowed to work with the (mostly) women in these communities has taken a lot of trust. The males of these communities are very distrusting of "us" and don't like us filling the heads of their women with our promiscuous disobedient western ways.

We are helping these women. We have helped a fair number escape physical abuse. but it is something that has to be done very carefully and with a great deal of diplomacy tact and experience.

To upset one family will have the males of teh entire community close ranks. they will refuse to give permission for their wives to deal with us.
As much as we would love to, to just sweep in with a "this is not the way to live you should do it our way" helps no one.

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thaigreencurry · 30/03/2011 13:26

I wrote to my MP about a similar story and he didn't even have the courtesy to respond.

It makes me sick and angry. I thank god that I wasn't born into a poor rural village in a country like Bangladesh.

I joined Amnesty International a few years ago because I felt it was one small thing that I could do.

Hand on heart I don't think things will ever change for girls like Henan.

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sethstarkaddersmackerel · 30/03/2011 13:28

my MP is the not responding sort as well.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 30/03/2011 14:14

Look guys they NEED to respond to you. It's their job and their duty. If they don't respond, write again after a month enclosing a copy of your original letter and explaining that you will be writing to the local paper about their neglect of their constituency.

Asking them to DO something e.g. write to the minister on your behalf works too.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 30/03/2011 14:16

Sorry posted too soon - they will hate the idea of you stirring up trouble in their constituency re: papers etc. Also you can make an appointment to see them at constituency surgery.

And keep and eye on this list of EDMs and ask them to sign good ones.

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sakura · 30/03/2011 14:19

I read this story in teh Guardian a few months ago.

Do you know what made me even more angry? The police did actually pursue 14 people involved in this crime, but those 14 actually included the wife of the rapist. Scapegoating her because apparently, according to the authorities, she had wanted the girl beaten.

Now, it was the village elders , a group of men, who decided that a raped girl should be beaten. Surely they're your first port of call? I bet those bastards get let off and they prosecute random scapegoats instead.

It does sound like it's the kind of thing that can be helped by education. I remember reading that the mother and father of the girl didn't realise that the sentencing by the village elders was against Bangladeshi law. They had no idea they could invoke the law to stop her being lashed. So awareness raising might help.

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Deliainthemaking · 30/03/2011 15:42

that is truly awful :(

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AyeRobot · 30/03/2011 16:02

sakura, when I read the article I let out a sigh when I read about the wife of the rapist. Not because of any "how could any woman do that to a girl?" from me, but because I know that she will be seen as the main culprit by millions of people who read about it. As you say, a scapegoat for this crime and for reasons why nothing changes. After all, if even a woman doesn't want it stopped...

Yes, education is a must. But prosecution of all of those involved for the crimes they committed has to happen, just as it has to happen in this country in relation to violence against women. Until the criminals are routinely punished, the message is that it's OK to carry on.

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Unrulysun · 30/03/2011 17:11

Mamazon I understand that it's difficult. I am very suspicious of situations where cultural issues take precedence over people's basic human rights. We have laws which should be used to protect all women and children in this country and which shouldn't be vulnerable to the bullying tactics of 'it's our way'

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swallowedAfly · 30/03/2011 17:33

This reply has been deleted

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msrisotto · 30/03/2011 17:38

"What happened to Hena is unfortunate and we all have to be ashamed that we couldn't save her life," said Sultana Kamal, who heads the rights organization Ain o Shalish Kendro.

Unfortunate??? UNFORTUNATE????? Words fail me.

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nailak · 30/03/2011 17:40

this is simple answer to ops question, educate them about islam? to be convicted of fornication in shariah law you need four witnesses to the actual act? and the lashes are suppossed to not break the skin,

these rural imams, who ave them power? the villae people, but where have they studied islam? what do they know? they only know my elders told me this so it is riht.

the villae elders should all be held responsible for the death of this irl and iven a death sentence imo

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msrisotto · 30/03/2011 17:41

nailak - have you noticed that your g isn't working? Grin

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