men/women flexi working after baby

[ledkr]

hi all this is my first time on here but someone suggested i post so here goes.
We have just had our dd and i am on mat leave.Dh is a great hands on dad does night feeds etc.he works full time as a copper and up untill now his shift pattern was 2-10 2-8 8-6 8-6 7-5 7-5 and then 4 days off,on a rolling rota,this makes him able to take a very active role especially at night with mealtimes,childcare (have dd aged 8) activities etc. I work part time in well paid proffessional job which can involve some out of hours work but is mostly 9-5 3 days a week.
He has recently been told that the shifts are changing to include 4 late shifts 4-12 in a row. I am gutted,that means 4 days in a row i have to do pretty much all the childcare whilst trying to get dd1 to ballet etc.when i go back to work i will have to do all of this and pick them up from minders/school clubs,and i can not rely on any activities of my own-netball and tap as cant guarantee him there,he will hardly see dd1 for 4 days. Oh btw,baby has a cleft palate so i cannot use sitters as her feeding is complicated.
DH agrees and has spoken to his inspector re flexible working rights,He was told that "his wife" will have to ask her employers for flexibility as he can t have it.
I am bloody fuming,i already only work part time how flexible can i be?Why is my career any less important?
There are women in his same department who have very flexible hours due to childcare why shouldnt he,he only asked for 1 less evening shift,they get school hours!
He has set up another meeting next week,any ideas if its worth it or what he can say?

[snowmama]

Oh that is lawful! Might be worth posting this in employment issues section. I know flexible working can be rejected....but the reason your DH, does not sound valid.

[snowmama]

The reason your DH was given I mean..

[ledkr]

was thinking maybe i would post onto employment yes but i did feel it was a feminist issue too when it was suggested that I was the one who should work flexibly. Just when you think we are moving forward in the workplace something like this reminds me how far we have to go still.

[snowmama]

It is definitely a feminist issue, all very well implementing flexible working procedures but then making them women only has massive negative ramifications for all. For you, your DH. .and actually sounds like the women getting flexi work at your DH's workplace will not be valued with a boss like that. Really counter productive.

[ledkr]

yes i think so too,and dh will be leaving asap as its far too intrusive upon family life,obviously a sexist pig as he suggested it was up to my employers to be flexible-is that cos im the mummy and therefore the main care giver?grrrrr makes me so angry.

[AliceWorld]

Absolutely feminist issue. Agree that it would be worth posting in employment though. From what I know, as someone who is no kind of expert whatsoever, women and men both have equal rights to request flexible working. If the boss said he can't have it cos he is a man, and is giving it to the women, then that is (I think) illegal discrimination.

It's things like this that stop men asking and put all onus on women, which is the root of massive inequality, so great that you're challenging it.

[AliceWorld]

Is he is a union? Or are the police not allowed them?

[ledkr]

The thing is tho i know he will only challenge it so far as he will be afraid to rock the boat and look like a woose eg be the only man with the flexi time,i feel so annoyed cos this is going to affect my life so much and the children,and one of the flexi women picks her older dcs up every day from school whilst my poor younger ones will have to be in childcare untill late thats if i can find childcare for a baby with feeding issues.
I do think the union will aggree but i dont think he will want to make a fuss.
Going to put it in employment now. thanks.