I just don't fit in....

(6 Posts)
Keepcalmanddrinktea Thu 04-Aug-16 23:08:22

...or at least this is what it feels like, when I interact with other mums from DD' s school (independent girls only primary)....I generally get along with everyone, and at work I am known to be very social, easy going and very approachable......fast forward at the school gate (those few times I do pick ups) Or at birthday parties or at social events and I am shaking inside as it all feels very scary, I do not show off naturally (I am more the geeky type of person), become very conscious of not being a native (English is my second non-native language but got high sec education in English and I use it at work, it is actually pretty good, yet.....)
I just feel useless, I then become so emotional at home, DH thinks I make it up, but when I feel pushed out if the clique, it really gets me down, there quite few who like me/us so I have the tangible proof I am not a lost case....
Why I feel very comfortable socially at work and I am a mouse outside?
What is wrong with me and how can I fit in with everyone?
confused sad

Dreamfrog Sun 23-Oct-16 22:48:00

Hi. Parents can be very cliquey and isolating. Groups are formed and if your not in the clan even if they chat to you you sense you don't belong.
It's really nothing to do with you. It happens in every school. I don't miss it at all. I'd stick with the parents who you're friendly with and let the other stuff go over your head. Easier said than done sometimes.

tribpot Sun 23-Oct-16 22:56:54

I definitely don't fit in with the mums (or dads, for that matter) at my ds' school. I get on with some of them fine but we have nothing in common. I know how stressful I would find this situation to be doing in another language, even one I spoke well. At work you are confident because you know your subject matter but in a school clique the subtext is impossible to guess.

My personal survival strategy is to think 'fuck it'. As long as your dc is being invited to things, and you have some parents you can get along with well enough to swap childcare favours with, you don't have to make any lifelong friends at the school gate.

Claramarion Mon 24-Oct-16 11:45:50

I get like this sometimes and don't think I'm an interesting person to talk to and don't know what to say to people and think things over x

Keepcalmanddrinktea Thu 03-Nov-16 23:37:26

Thank you! Very kind comments and suggestions; definitely something to work on smile

My2centsworth Thu 03-Nov-16 23:42:49

I genuinely do not get this trend on MN for the school gates to be seen as some kind of zone for friendship. The only guaranteed thing you have in common with the people at the school gate was that you all had sex in the one year. Personally I think there are better environments to make friends. Hobbies for example.

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