if your partner hit you forcefully in an argument?

(42 Posts)
catcatcat Sun 05-Jan-14 17:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

He'd be waiting for the police to arrive, tbh.

Ledkr Sun 05-Jan-14 17:44:36

If not do either. I'd call the police and get his arse arrested.

Beamur Sun 05-Jan-14 17:45:50

I might forgive him (in time and if he apologised), but I think the relationship would end.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 05-Jan-14 17:46:02

I'd call the Police, then chuck him out.
He'll do it again.

Fozziebearmum2be Sun 05-Jan-14 17:46:34

I've stayed previously. He's now an ex.

If dh did it I would leave.

For them to do it signals a massive loss of control of themselves and respect for you. You can't rebuild that.

TheBookofRuth Sun 05-Jan-14 17:46:54

Yeah, same here, I'd press charges. And he'd never get within 100 feet of me again.

You DON'T HIT someone you're supposed to love. Ever. No matter what.

MrsBungle Sun 05-Jan-14 17:47:12

I'd call the police. He will do it again.

AnyFucker Sun 05-Jan-14 17:47:26

Neither of those things.

he would be leaving in the back of a police car.

are you ok ? Has he done this before ?

thornrose Sun 05-Jan-14 17:47:51

I honestly don't know anyone that has been hit only once, sorry sad

AnyFucker Sun 05-Jan-14 17:47:55

or she of course

BillyBanter Sun 05-Jan-14 17:49:00

Depends. unless s/he was acting in self defence I'd call the police I hope.

I would call the police. Would I forgive, probably in time but I'd never forget and there would definitely be no relationship afterwards.

I hope you are ok.

SilverApples Sun 05-Jan-14 17:50:03

I'd leave, or make him leave. Depending on the situation and severity and his response, I might involve the police.

colditz Sun 05-Jan-14 17:50:03

I'd leave, because he would do it again

Pollydingdonmerrilyonhigh Sun 05-Jan-14 17:53:27


I'd leave, no discussion, no forgiveness. I've made it clear to every boyfriend I've ever had that they would only ever get the chance to hit me once. Thankfully none of them ever have. My Dad was a bit too quick to temper when I was a kid and I swore to myself that once I was big enough to stand up for myself nobody would ever get away with hitting me again.

ButICantaloupe Sun 05-Jan-14 17:58:19

I would call the police and then get a divorce.

Once is enough and no apologies can take it back.

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 18:03:03

How on earth do you hit in a non forceful way?
Hit me and you will be out of my life. Locks changed etc!

Doinmummy Sun 05-Jan-14 18:03:05

I did call the police .

thornrose Sun 05-Jan-14 18:05:46

OP are you ok? Is it you that's been hit?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sun 05-Jan-14 18:15:56

I'd press charges and throw them out.

Im assuming this is them hitting first and not hitting back, of course. If I had hit first then I would be in the wrong. We'd still have to split. You cant stay with someone once that line has been crossed.

sykadelic15 Sun 05-Jan-14 18:25:08

Can you expand on what happened? Hit you forcefully in what way? On the arm? In the face? Kicked? Open-handed?

It would depend on the situation but most likely... in one case I'd call the police, the other I'd leave. I wouldn't be able to stay because I would be in fear of him. It's those situations where people can turn into doormats out of fear.

If it was a situation in which I hit first, then I'd leave because our relationship is over anyway as it's not like me to be violent. If I was badly hurt, I'd call the police.

MrsMaryCooper Sun 05-Jan-14 18:30:32

I think it would be the end of the relationship.

BillyBanter Sun 05-Jan-14 19:17:48

Theory is all very well, OP, but most people who get hit by their partner don't call the police and don't end the relationship, not for that first hit, because by the time their partner is at the point of hitting them they have already ground them down, set them up to accept it. Or because it seems so out of character there must be some extraordinary reason for it that makes it a one off and the hitter will be apologetic and swear it won't happen again.

Answering your question makes me realise I maybe wouldn't call the police for a number of reasons.

Has something happened to prompt this thread?

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 19:19:55

OP are you safe?

CrimsonDay Sun 05-Jan-14 19:39:46

I would leave the house then call police.

Are you ok OP?

KepekCrumbs Sun 05-Jan-14 19:41:11

Did you hit him op?

StillSlightlyCrumpled Sun 05-Jan-14 19:43:58

Sat here in complete control & not feeling vulnerable or fearful etc I would end the relationship immediately. But, I can imagine that faced with the reality of such a life changing decision you may waver.

I do hope you are okay OP?

ExcuseTypos Sun 05-Jan-14 19:45:18

I've always told myself I'd leave, and told my DDs that they must do the same.

I hope you're ok OP.

russianmule Sun 05-Jan-14 19:52:03

Hmmm I think this may not be what it seems. But violence is violence and should never be tolerated in a relationship. Man or Woman.

NachoAddict Sun 05-Jan-14 19:58:19

I always said a I would leave but I didn't. It started with shouting, next time a shove, throwing things, by the time he got to hitting it was a small step from what had come before which had become normal. Not sure how to explain it.

If (different) dp hit me now I like to think I would leave straight away but finances and circumstances can be very compelling.

Hope your ok. If you have been hit, please do leave its never a one off.

catcatcat Sun 05-Jan-14 20:14:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

With my husband and no one else's I would assume something was very seriously wrong - Alzheimer's/psychotic break/severe stress.

But that's more than 10 years of marriage and a pacifist for a husband.

If it wasn't the above he'd be in jail.

Why are you still in contact with him?

ButICantaloupe Sun 05-Jan-14 20:21:43

I'm sorry that happened to you, catcatcat

Are you still in love with him?

I would do the same as you, for sure.

HedgehogsRevenge Sun 05-Jan-14 20:24:09

Change your number, ignore. You made the right decision. No need to engage anymore. One text to tell him to stop contacting you. Further contact from him= harassment.

starlight1234 Sun 05-Jan-14 20:29:52

My Ex when visiting son in contact centre said he wanted to give it another go..I simply said I don't and if I did I wouldn't as I wouldn't risk losing my DS for you...He never asked again as he knew I never would..

Do you have children with this guy..If not refuse all contact..if you do arrange contact and drop off at a neutral point and refuse conversation about anything but your child

NachoAddict Sun 05-Jan-14 20:35:33

You did absolutely the right thing Op. Congratulations for being so strong. I hope you have plenty of support to stick to your guns.

He would do it again.

MrsBennetsEldest Sun 05-Jan-14 20:35:40

I would stay, just long enough to take the bastard down and unleash the dogs of hell on his pathetic arse. I appreciate most would not react the same.

BillyBanter Sun 05-Jan-14 20:56:36

Do you have children? That complicates the contact issue. If you don't then text him saying.

Our relationship is over. Do not contact me again. Any further contact will be considered harassment and I will report it to the police.

His behaviour since this happened is a sure sign that he will not change and should not be given another chance.

Wolfiefan Sun 05-Jan-14 20:59:04

He is messed up and is just trying to control you. You have done completely the right thing!

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