Children and Hotel WWYD

(68 Posts)
TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 14:45:24

Family weekend coming up with 2 nights stay in a hotel. We have 2 children aged 3 and 1. Majority of the family of the view that it would be perfectly reasonable to leave DC in the hotel room on their own at night whilst we are downstairs eating/drinking. Other family members with children of similar age plan to do this.

I am not happy with this and feel that it is not the same as them being at home in their bedrooms whilst we are downstairs. The hotel is a public place and I would not be able to hear them cry should they wake. Not to mention if they got out of bed and managed to get out the room or injure themselves in the room.

I am being made to feel like a neurotic mother and on my saying that I would just stay in the room with them being told I am not getting in the party spirit. There has been the suggestion of checking on them every half hour or so but that doesn't sit right with me.

Can anyone advise or has anyone had similar experience. I don't feel I am being unreasonable in my concerns but everyone else in the family does.

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 14:47:33

What's the hotels policy? Because its usually them that end up picking up the pieces when something goes wrong!

YoniMitchell Sat 29-Jun-13 14:49:35

Can the hotel recommend a babysitting service?

K8Middleton Sat 29-Jun-13 14:49:58

Can you book a babysitter or listening service with the hotel? We've done that before - it's usually quite easy and not too expensive.

I wouldn't leave them alone in the circumstances you have described either.

Could you get a baby monitor with really good coverage, so you can hear any movements?

Another option would be to hire a babysitter through the hotel - dh and I have done this - they would stay in the room with your dc, so they would be perfectly safe.

Accidentallyquirky Sat 29-Jun-13 14:51:41

No way on this earth would I leave my 3 year old lane in a hotel room! I don't care if the rest of my family where doing it,

Even if my morals allowed me, If dd woke up and I wasn't there shed be scared lost and lonely and I'd hate her to feel like that over a stupid decision on my part.

Sorry, I forgot to say I have used the hotel listening services on several occasions too, with no misgivings and no mishaps - but if you are not comfortable with that, then you have every right to put in place an arrangement that you are comfortable with. That way you will be able to relax and enjoy the party.

I hope you can sort out something you are happy with. smile

ginmakesitallok Sat 29-Jun-13 14:53:41

There is no way I would leave a 1 & 3 year old alone in a hotel bedroom.

daftdame Sat 29-Jun-13 14:53:58

If there is no sitter service I would just take in turns with DH to keep going back to room to watch kids. Not ideal, better if you can get adjoining rooms. Take a torch and good book if not!

We have had to do this before when DS was a baby. Was OK, I was tired anyway and had lots of little sleep between socialising.

daftdame Sat 29-Jun-13 14:54:47

^sleeps

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 14:57:02

Accidentallyquirky, that is exactly how I feel to!

I am perfectly happy to stay with them (which is my preferred option) but will also investigate a proper babysitter. The family is going to be together all day as well as the evenings so can't see why they are making a big deal out of me insisting DC are watched over.

WeAreEternal Sat 29-Jun-13 14:57:17

No way would I agree to this.

I'd either get the hotel to find a babysitter for me or is do as Daft suggested and take it in turns to babysit with DH in 30 minute shifts.

wickeddevil Sat 29-Jun-13 15:00:22

I Would absolutely not leave them.
Baby monitors / listening services are not a good enough option either.
We often settled for takeaways or had our main meal at lunchtime when DCs were small if we were away.
DH is a firefighter and it is just not something we would ever consider.

daftdame Sat 29-Jun-13 15:01:05

Timothy I'd watch them too, you are certainly not being overprotective.
They will be in unfamiliar surroundings and might not settle anyway.

Its madness to insist on anything else. You'd have to know your child was a really sound sleeper or would not panic if woken and be able to hear them on a baby alarm.

If the fire alarm went you'd have to be able to retrieve them!

Scruffey Sat 29-Jun-13 15:02:54

I would not go. No way would I have agreed to this when my dc were that age.

HeySoulSister Sat 29-Jun-13 15:04:10

3 and 1.... No way

People actually do that still?

My kids are pretty much the same age and tbh even if they were older I'd feel very strongly against leaving them on their own. If there's a babysitting service, then fair enough, but otherwise it would be a case of either one or neither of us adults going downstairs without them. I just wouldn't feel happy doing anything else.

zzzzz Sat 29-Jun-13 15:07:11

Nope. Was forced to do this once at my sisters wedding. I would NEVER do it again. Nothing happened but I in safe.

It's nobodies business but yours what you do with your own kids. Take a book and bubbles and have a fabulous long luxurious bath in the en suit. You can listen to them snore and pamper yourself while Dh "has fun" with bully family.

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 15:07:14

I know for a fact that if my 3 year old woke up she would be upset if in unfamiliar surroundings and would cry for me so that has always been my deciding factor in not leaving them alone, let alone all the other reasons.

Daftdame, and I hadn't even considered the fire alarm going off!

CaptainSweatPants Sat 29-Jun-13 15:07:32

why can't you all get a holiday cottage ?
so much easier

I have done it with one baby in a very small hotel where the door of the room was about 5-10 metres from where we were eating and we could see it from our table. In a larger hotel I've always got a proper babysitter if there's an event, or just worked round mealtimes and bedtimes to stay with the DCs ourselves.

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 15:12:07

CaptainSweatPants - oh that would be so much easier to book a holiday cottage but DH's family members who are organising the whole thing are doing it exactly how they want to and sod the rest of us!

I am just hoping the other parents going will be guilt tripped into looking after their own kids by my actions and organisers will end up with no-one to party with!

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Sat 29-Jun-13 15:19:46

Another no. We were staying in a hotel when DD was four and the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. Cue full evacuation. It was a false alarm but if we hadn't been with DD at the time she'd have been petrified.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Sat 29-Jun-13 15:19:50

No, I couldn't do it. Many years ago, we tried this - smallish hotel - put dc to bed and went down to the bar for a drink, with a baby monitor. I lasted 10 minutes, just couldn't relax. It didn't feel right.

ProtegeMoi Sat 29-Jun-13 15:29:18

No I would never do this.

2 words Madeleine McCan!

nextphase Sat 29-Jun-13 15:29:43

I wouldn't leave them either (tho did once when DS1 was young, nothing went wrong, but it was more stressful with the listening service than sitting with him). Would the 1 yr old sleep in a pushchair for the first few hours, and the 3 yr old stay up til say 9, when you can more legitimately depart for the evening?

Timothy - is there any chance that all of you with children could agree to,put the. Children together in one room/adjoining rooms with a connecting door, so that you could all take turns to sit with them? That way they would all be cared for by family, and none of you would miss too much of the party? Then children could be carried back to their rooms at the end of the evening.

Even if it were only you and one other family, it would share the minding workload a bit more.

Rosa Sat 29-Jun-13 15:34:10

Baby can fall asleep in the buggy and the 3 yr old can have a late night ??? If its a family weekend then everybody can have fun with the family and help you out.... Sits back and waits for complete flaiming about letting kids stay up late.
I am guessing its a family friendly hotel .
No way would I leave my kids in strange place alone either .

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 15:37:11

nextphase - that is what I was thinking as 3 year old would be ok to stay up until 8 or 9pm. 1 year old would probably fall asleep in buggy if pushed around a bit.

STDG - definitely worth a try although I know for a fact one set of parents are perfectly happy to leave their 2 children alone.

CaptainSweatPants Sat 29-Jun-13 15:42:00

in that case I'd have dinner at 6pm with all the kids present

then you or dh can stay in the room and the other can have a few drinks downstairs or take it in turns

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 15:46:40

CaptainSweatPants - I know for a fact that dinner will be at the most inconvenient time for kids. Might have to start badgering the family now for an early dinner!

Ashoething Sat 29-Jun-13 15:51:45

3 and 1-no way. Far too young.

LtEveDallas Sat 29-Jun-13 16:01:11

I'd keep them up until they got niggly, then make my excuses and go back to the room with them. You may find the 3 year old falls asleep too - DD always did.

At a push I'd use a hotel babysitting service, but I wouldn't leave them alone.

weirdthing Sat 29-Jun-13 16:02:31

No way would I leave my kids. Other people in the hotel have keys to your room - anything could happen to them. And all for what? Some boozing? No way!

TimothyClaypoleLover Sat 29-Jun-13 17:32:26

weirdthing - I definitely won't be boozing, just can't handle it anymore since kids came along!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 29-Jun-13 17:58:54

I would contact the hotel and look into a babysitter. We have done this a couple of times and it is brilliant because you can relax - and if there is any kind of problem then you are in the same building rather than in a restaurant 10 miles away/at the theatre or cinema or whatever.

scaevola Sat 29-Jun-13 18:03:29

Well, I've done it. But it depends on the size/layout of the hotel (huge difference between ground floor room you can reach in seconds, and one several floors away), whether you can listen in (need a monitor and do a trial to see if you can really hear, I never trusted a listening service) and whether there are hazards in the room. And of course whether your DCs stay asleep.

If you're not totally happy with all those, don't do it.

Pancakeflipper Sat 29-Jun-13 18:09:57

No.
We recently had a big family meal and we were staying at the hotel. My sister ( who has no children) was wonderful in realising we would be in your situation OP. So she brought the meal forward to 6pm so my children could join. Just before 10pm my DP took them to bed and stayed with them. I partied! It was a good compromise for us all.

babyhmummy01 Sat 29-Jun-13 18:27:05

Definite no no as someone else has said Madeline McCann!!!

Ask if the hotel has babysitting/listening service or keep the kids with you.

What other parents do is up to them but you have to decide for ur kids

BingoWingoBongoBop Sat 29-Jun-13 18:27:56

I tried to do it... Staying in tiny hotel with parents in law. Our monitor stretched to the restaurant but after sitting there for 10 minutes I realised I couldn't do it, couldn't leave DS alone, what if (unlikely I know) there was a fire, or some other disaster... I ended up spending a very nice evening in the room while DH brought me up each course of dinner! You should only do what you're comfortable with, you wouldn't forgive yourself otherwise (even though realistically nothing bad will probably happen... But how can one ever say that?!)

kilmuir Sat 29-Jun-13 18:31:39

You know you don't want to. Would you really enjoy yourself? Hotel may have a babysitting service.
I would not even consider it

heidihole Sat 29-Jun-13 18:37:39

There is no way on earth I'd agree to this without a baby monitor.

Could you put Skype on your iPhone and leave it in the hotel room and then "call" on Skype your DHs phone which would be with you? That would leave an open line between the phones (or even just regular phone call if you have free mins and put phone on speaker) then you'd hear if either baby cried

CaptainSweatPants Sat 29-Jun-13 18:40:07

Stay home with kids
Send Dh on his own
Order takeaway & wine for when they're asleep

Relax in the knowledge you avoided a stressful night in a hotel grin

Beamur Sat 29-Jun-13 18:41:00

I wouldn't.
I'd go with the option of keeping the 3 yr old up later than usual, get the baby to nap in a buggy and eat early.

Primrose123 Sat 29-Jun-13 18:45:27

No, I wouldn't leave them either.

Snazzywaitingforsummer Sat 29-Jun-13 18:46:43

No. It's pretty clear why it's not a good idea. This is the pain of extended family holidays - there are usually people driving what everyone else does and if you don't like their ideas you have to be very assertive and resist a lot of pressure. But you are right to resist. Tell them if they don't call you a neurotic parent, you won't call them neglectful ones - deal?

hesterton Sat 29-Jun-13 18:48:04

I did this with 2 way listeningservice 27 years ago. Wouldn't do it in todays climate.

The receptionist on the first night said DC1 aged 3 had been a little unsettled and she'd spoken to him on the intercom and he'd settled down.

The next night as I put him to bed, he looked at me slightly warily and said, "Mummy, will the wall be talking to me again tonight?"

Abra1d Sat 29-Jun-13 18:53:36

I've done this, with a baby monitor, in small, family-run hotels. My children were fairly good at night, though, even if they weren't asleep immediately they wouldn't run riot. We used to run up and downstairs to check on them as well, every 15 minutes.

Love your son's comment, Hesterton!

AmbrosiaCreamedMice Sat 29-Jun-13 18:54:14

Crazy. A 3yo could probably reach the door handle as well. And the bath taps. Or the window.

OP, just stay at home will you, my nerves can't handle it. grin

This happened on a large family holiday of ours. My DSis left her two 4 and 1 to rampage the restaurant as they were overtired, everyone got pissed and were far too noisy for my 1 yr old to go to sleep in her buggy.

We had dinner early after the first night. And vowed NEVER to holiday with family again

teacher123 Sat 29-Jun-13 18:57:47

When DS was 4mo we went to a wedding and I took my parents to help with DS. We had the end of a corridor with just our two rooms in it, and my parents had room service with the door open whilst DS slept next door. I went back at 10pm to find my mum sitting in the dark in DS's room reading on the iPad. She felt that she couldn't leave him on his own even though they were next door and could see the door to his bedroom. Do whatever feels right to you and ignore everyone else.

ghosteditor Sat 29-Jun-13 19:01:39

No chance! The 3 yo could wake and have an accident with furniture or go looking for you or accidentally hurt the baby. Worse, if the fire alarm went off and you were elsewhere, the staff would not let you go back to your room.

CPtart Sat 29-Jun-13 19:04:25

No. Trust your instinct.
They won't be this little forever and in a couple of years it won't be an issue and they can stay up with you for longer.
You as their parents are responsible for them, not other family members.

inneedofrain Sat 29-Jun-13 19:13:50

Not read the whole thread

Are your relatives totally insane! I am the least precious mother ever and there is NO WAY ON EARTH I would be leaving a 1year old and a 3year old alone in a hotel.

either find a babysitter or don´t go.

You are spot on right op you are not nuerotic!

inneedofrain Sat 29-Jun-13 19:21:51

Ok, I have caught up now.

I´m not in the UK and the norm here for family gatherings is that they are family gatherings!

Kids come from babies in arms to teenagers. When the kids get tired (the babies and youngters not the teenagers) they are all put down either in one room or in an area and everyone takes it in turns to watch them. BUT this might not work for you and your family.

I would go with spend the day with family. Then when the kids need to go to sleep go up the room and put them down. Order room service and relax with your DC asleep. If you can upgrade to a small suit (larger room with a couch and a tv area) all the better!

Parietal Sat 29-Jun-13 19:29:49

If you have an iPhone there is a baby monitor app that will call another phone (say dh's) if there is any sound in the room. I've used that is small hotels, plus regular checks.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Sat 29-Jun-13 19:34:30

No, I wouldn't. I have used a listening service at a small hotel, but would never, ever leave a child where no one would hear if he/she was exploring the hot taps in the bathroom, crying because they had lost teddy/fell out of bed and bumped their head.

Earthworms Sat 29-Jun-13 19:35:27

I have seen parents have a quick dinner with a baby monitor on rthe table when I worked in a v tiny hotel, so I suppose the parents felt it was no different to having diner downstairs at home.

At the time I thought nothing of it.

Now I have kids I wouldn't do it ( and I think I am a laid back to the point of being slack parent)

As previous posters said - what if there was a fire?

Loving the idea af lazing in the room with sleeping children and having food brought up to me whilst DH braves the family party downstairs.

I think that would be the best option, if other parents won't pitch in and share the babysitting.

notcitrus Sat 29-Jun-13 22:59:24

3yo no way. And I have had 1yos in cots and been downstairs with a baby monitor - but only in a tiny hotel with dn in room next door, and only 2 other rooms beyond them, with us and ILs right at the bottom of the stairs. We chose the hotel for that reason.

If they're old enough to possibly escape a cot, then I want someone right next to them. (sighs in anticipation of conference soon where MrNC and I will be alternating hours of quiet reading in a room with the dc...)

PearlyWhites Mon 01-Jul-13 19:44:52

No definitely not am shocked at your family tbh

wibblyjelly Fri 05-Jul-13 20:18:07

I'm in a similar situation but with camping in a tent grin . I've been told ds will be OK in our tent, while we sit round the campfire. I'm not happy with this, as although we can see one side of the tent, we won't see the other, and it will be dark! I've already told ds I'm not happy with leaving him, and if needs be, I'll sit by our tent by myself.

Onesleeptillwembley Fri 05-Jul-13 20:21:21

Wow! Just because your family are negligent, don't let them make you feel bad!

Poosnu Fri 05-Jul-13 20:27:10

I wouldn't do this. On the occasions when we have been away on family holidays like this, we take turns to sit with the children (either in the room or outside with a baby monitor). Not just me and DH - other family members pitched in too.

We now try and book self catering cottages so the DC can be left in bed while we all eat together, but hear them on the baby monitor.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you are roped into leaving them in circumstances you are not completely happy with, you won't enjoy the evening one bit.

HollyMadison Fri 05-Jul-13 20:33:00

I wouldn't do it. If there was a fire you may not be able to get back up to the room. I would do what I thought best and ignore comments from family.

mameulah Sat 27-Jul-13 21:56:49

We were in the same situation. No way would I leave my pfb ds alone in a hotel room.

Every party needs a pooper. It might as well be you!

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 27-Jul-13 22:03:53

right..
not going to be popular but
we have in the past stayed in a hotel where we left the kids asleep in their room.
we had to dial the phone to receptions baby listening service and they had it on speaker in the reception which was constantly manned.
every 15 minutes they came through and told us all was quiet.
later in the evening after we had had our desert they said they could hear one of the children rustling around and so I said my goodnights and went up. They were both asleep.

However. This was a small very expensive hotel. We didn't go downstairs until the kids were totally asleep. It worked for us. fwiw I would be less likely to do it now they are older as they can get up to MUCH more mischief

stealthsquiggle Sat 27-Jul-13 22:16:34

We went to a wedding when I was pg with DC1 and at 2am there were a row of baby monitors lined up on the table in the bar grin

but it was a "leading family friendly hotel" and there was no one staying in the hotel who wasn't at the wedding.

OP - can you contact the hotel and find out about babysitting? Some hotels have policies about not allowing DC to be left without a babysitter, but will help with finding well qualified babysitters (at an extortionate price)

zingally Mon 02-Sep-13 13:54:17

My parents would stay with my sister and I until we fell asleep, then sneak out and downstairs to the bar!

I'd only do it myself with a long-range baby monitor.

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