Neighbour complaining about my children's noise playing in the garden

(173 Posts)
IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:10:54

We just moved into a garden flat after not having a garden for most of my children's lives. We have had landscape gardener's in for two weeks and they are now mostly finished transforming the garden. The garden is over 100ft and we have divided it into areas. There is a bark chipped area near the back (though not right at the back) where we have put the trampoline. At the back of our garden is the garden to another house which is side on to ours (so you come out of our place, turn right and right again onto a side road and theirs is the first house so it runs perpendicular to our garden if that makes sense). Their garden is quite small and they have an extension that is not that far from the boundary between our gardens.

Today the man that lives there came to complain about the noise my children were making. He works from home in the extension and says they are too noisy on the trampoline and he can't hear to make phone calls.

My kids are aged almost 9, almost 6 and almost 2. They are all boys and we moved to this place specifically for the garden space. I home school my children so they are in the garden during the day on and off between about 9am and 5pm. The last three days we have had friends around so it has been noisier than usual. I did explain all this to the man. He said he thought we were running a nursery here! I assured him I was not!

So,he wants us to move the trampoline. He says that we only put it at the back of the garden to keep the noise away from our house (NOT TRUE!). I am unwilling to move it as we have specifically safety surfaced that area for it. I asked if there were specific times of day that he would prefer them not to be playing there - he said no as he works all day. He also mentioned his need to relax in his garden at the weekend.

So, what would you do? Would you move the trampoline? WOuld you ask your kids to be quiet when they are out there? Or would you ignore him?

CarGirl Wed 19-May-10 21:14:45

I would ignore him

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:15:24

I'd move the trampoline so if he complained about the noise again I could point out how reasonable I'd been about his first complaint but that he had to be reasonable in return and understand children will make some noise when out playing. Then I'd ignore him.grin HE can move his blooming office if the noise annoys him.

Um, without wishing to escalate a neighbor dispute, and being on friendly terms with neighbors is so valuable, why can't he work inside? He is being unreasonable about complaining that children are playing outside? hmm

If it was simply a matter of him being happy by moving the trampoline, then yes, move it, but sounds as if this isn't the only issue and he objects to children making any kind of noise.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:17:16

But I really don't want to move the trampoline!

BendyBob Wed 19-May-10 21:17:28

I think it's give and take actually. I have 3 dc/garden/trampoline etc.

I don't think they can be expected to be completely quiet but I definately tell them to keep the noise down if they start shouting and making a loud noise.

Normal laughing, giggling chatting and playing are ok but I won't let them shriek and shout. That's not to say they don't, but I tell them to keep it down.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:18:07

He is working inside, but just in the extension which of course is closer to our garden.

HousewifeOfOrangeCounty Wed 19-May-10 21:18:11

Ignor - I do understand his pov, but they'll only get one childhood and it's better that it's one they remember as being free.

Tidey Wed 19-May-10 21:18:12

He's being a selfish cock. Ignore.

activate Wed 19-May-10 21:18:18

I think MrsDoAsYouWouldBeDoneBy should be brought into play

His complaint sounds reasonable enough - he works at home and the positioning of your trampoline is now impeding his work and relaxation.

You have a 100 foot garden - move it up towards your house - that way you can monitor them as well because trampolines are dangerous.

I think your landscaper should have thought of neighbours in the original design tbh

EldonAve Wed 19-May-10 21:20:01

I would ignore him

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:20:37

Is the hassle of moving it really worth having a bad relationship with a neighbour over?

activate Wed 19-May-10 21:20:44

By IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:17:16
But I really don't want to move the trampoline!


You have a duty not to piss other people off surely - it's called community.

You should move it - and you should also control shrieking and screaming unless you live in the country withyour own acerage

abr1de Wed 19-May-10 21:21:10

I work from home and it is difficult if there is a lot of noise. Because you're homeschooling perhaps you need to set up distinct trampoline periods so he knows when he can make calls.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:21:23

Does his right to work at home out weigh the right of my children to play? Just a thought.

If I move the trampoline closer to the house,I will be annoying the neighbours near to me along my road. There is an elderly man living above me and an elderly lady living next door.

McDreamy Wed 19-May-10 21:21:35

I wouldn't move the trampoline. I would make the children aware that you have neighbours that work during the day so while you do not expect silence being aware and considering others would be a good thing but apart from that I wouldn't do anything else.

activate Wed 19-May-10 21:22:38

He was there first

and yes it does

you could ask the neighbours - or you could get rid of the trampoline and put up a climbing frame - less shrieks on a climbing frame or wendy house or slide

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:23:24

Sorry, but I am laughing at the idea of distinct trampoline periods!

I did ask him if he could tell me times of the day when he would prefer them not to play there. HE said it was a problem all day.

It is really not as simple as just moving it closer to the house. We have added paths and concrete and bark chipped that area for safety.

scurryfunge Wed 19-May-10 21:23:48

Just ignore him. He could call in the council to judge the level of noise but I doubt children playing/shouting would ever reach unacceptable levels.

If your children scream and shout for8 hours during the day, I would say it's unreasonable but I doubt they are doing that either. Tell him to shut his windows.

BendyBob Wed 19-May-10 21:23:51

Can't they just play more quietly?

It's hard to tell without having heard whether he has a point or not.

I think you have to be considerate if they are being too noisy.

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:24:29

But you are comeing across as if your childrens right to play outweighs his right to work at home. A little compromise moving trampoline/rules about noise for your children when on trampoline/whatever would make for a nicer relationship with your neighbour. Your children can still play and your neighbour can hear himself think.

CarGirl Wed 19-May-10 21:24:48

Have to say although I said ignore him I am strict with my dc about how much noisy play goes on in our garden in consideration of our neighbours.

MaryBS Wed 19-May-10 21:25:22

control shrieking and screaming activate? You serious? I have some duct tape I can let the Op have, do you think that'd do?

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:25:34

It is really interesting to read people's views on this. I am truly shocked that people think I should get rid of the trampoline or restrict the children from playing. Since when did one person's rights hold so much weight?

I of course talk to my children about noise with the neighbours. My toddler makes the most noise as he screams a lot. He is non-verbal and I am not sure how I am supposed to explain to him that this guy wants quiet!

TheFatOwlOfTheRemove Wed 19-May-10 21:26:55

I would try and control their noise a bit, but mostly I would ignore him

children play [shrug]

CarGirl Wed 19-May-10 21:28:15

Maybe I'm strange but I don't want to hear my children shreiking and screaming at the top of their voices in my garden so I've always assumed my neighbours don't want to.

Same when they repeatedly want to kick the ball against the wall for hours on end, it's not neighbourly IMO

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:28:24

I did acknowledge with him today that this week has been a bit full on with noise. We have had friends round three days in a row (different friends) as they all wanted to come and see the garden as it has been finished. So there has been a lot of noise this week. I also explained that it is not normally like that and some days we would be out.

I am not saying my rights are more important than his at all. However, I find it a bit odd that someone working from home is expecting it to be quiet all the time. If someone worked shifts and had to sleep during the day, surely you would not think that the world should be quiet for him?

abr1de Wed 19-May-10 21:28:32

Why can't you tell your children that they're not allowed on between, say 9.30am and 11am? And then again between 2 and 3.30pm?

If I was trying to make calls and your children were disturbing me for long periods and stopping me from earning my living, effectively, I would be feeling irritated too.

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:28:34

Who said get rid of it?

It's not about rights. It's about showing consideration! If you think you ARE showing consideration and not allowing your DCs to scream and shriek for long periods then that's fine, just ignore him. Of COURSE your children should be allowed to play and make noise. My posts were just about trying not to get into a bad relationship with your neighbour. I've had that and had to move as it became so bad!

tatt Wed 19-May-10 21:29:00

if the children are making a lot of noise then you should move the trampoline or plant something thick to screen the noise a bit - or both. He has a small place and can't move far away, you have a large garden and should be prepared to compromise. Your noise is making his life difficult and you can choose to make it easier, So you are just being selfish.

CarGirl Wed 19-May-10 21:30:03

From his point of view he's had quiet and doesn't appreciate that was unusual! He's been spoilt and doesn't realise it. He could of course relocate further into his house he has options too.

Milliways Wed 19-May-10 21:30:03

Maybe the previous owners of your flat didn't have children?

When we moved to our present house, with its 220' garden, we were the ONLY family on our stretch of road with kids! I was acutely aware of their noise, but was lucky with my neighbours, and eventually more kids moved in.

We moved our trampoline from it's original position (not easy, it is a 14' one) to spare the neighbours, and now they only annoy the people in the churchyard, so avoid funerals etc.

As you homeschool, I really think you should limit the 9-3 bouncing, as people get used to the after-school until teatime frenzy that most estates endure.

Littlefish Wed 19-May-10 21:30:21

I agree with those posters saying that you need to find a way to compromise.

It is unusual for people to home-school and for children to be in the garden throughout the day (except in the holidays and at weekends), so I can see his point of view.

You have a 100 ft garden. He can't move his office, but you can move your trampoline. It's not worth getting off on the wrong foot with your neighbours.

activate Wed 19-May-10 21:30:42

I suggested replacing the trampoline with a climbing frame as the area is there

not such a crack-pot suggestion

trampoline use should be monitored by an adult anyway and there shouldn't be more than one at a time on it - bet that doesn't happen at your house (nor anyone else's house either)

McDreamy Wed 19-May-10 21:31:46

I think it's really sad that people complain about children playing outside. You could bring them in and sit them in front of the TV - would be much quieter non hmm

Your kids much be making one hell of a racket for him not to be able to hear himself think - or is he just a grumpy old man?

homicidalmummy Wed 19-May-10 21:32:10

It's your garden, you make the rules.

By all means tellyour dc to keep it down and just say to him you've spoken to your kids, it's all you can do.

Don't move the trampoline.
He'll get used to it eventually!

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:32:31

Activate did say to get rid of it and get a climbing frame instead (incidentally, we have one of those).

Ivykaty44 Wed 19-May-10 21:32:51

ring the council and report him for running a business/has an office at- from home - he needs to be paying business rates and that is much more expesive grinOr his company need to office him elsewhere.

I can't run a business from home as it is in my deeds - so wouldn't be able to build an extention as an office...

Ivykaty44 Wed 19-May-10 21:33:42

actually to be fair - this is why you have residental areas - because they are just that, residental and not meant for offices.

gillybean2 Wed 19-May-10 21:34:56

I assume this guy takes a lunch break? Could you not limit the times during the day the children are on the trampoline to 'lunch hour' and the equivalent of say a 20min morning and afternoon break. Then after 4pm (most children would be home from school by then) they can be on the trampoline again as much as they like.

Explain to him that you have limited the day time trampolining to these times, but at weekends and evenings they will be out there and hope he understands that you are trying to compromise but that children do make noise and need freedom to enjoy outdoors.

Also perhaps point out that the trampoline is new and exciting and so they are extra excited at the moment but this will no doubt calm down soon.

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 21:36:54

I agree that it would be reasonable to restrict noisy use of the garden to hours when children might be expected to be in the garden. Maybe 3pm onwards on 'school days'.

At least until you are settled in, & the initial excitement of new house & friends coming round has subsided.

Then it probably wouldn't be such a nuisance to your neighbour if your boys occasionally took a break from their studies during the day.

I do think that this level of noise, at unpredictable intervals throughout the day, every day, & taking place nearer to his dwelling than yours, is a bit much.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:36:58

I think he was used to quiet during the day. We have the neighbours from hell on one side (which I have posted about today on another thread) who have young children, but they only come out after 4pm. I can't do that with my kids as the garden is unusable once their kids come out. The swearing, shouting, and missile throwing is not something I want my children subjected to.

I do think he is a crotchety old man as someone suggested (not that this is not a valid complaint of his to make to me) as he mentioned wanting quiet on the weekends too so he could relax in the garden!

Realistically, we are going to be using the garden during the 9-3 period. Except on days we have friends here, I don't think the noise is that bad. I think it has just been a busty few days with friends here.

Really, considering the neighbours from hell (that he has spent over a year battling with involving police and social services), you'd think he might be thankful that a nice respectable family has moved in here!

WoTmania Wed 19-May-10 21:38:34

I was going to say can't you just sort out times of day when he doesn't mind them being out playing and times when he needs quiet. Then I got to this bit:
'I asked if there were specific times of day that he would prefer them not to be playing there - he said no as he works all day. He also mentioned his need to relax in his garden at the weekend.'

So basically in his view your children shouldn't play outside, at all, ever. Just in case he's trying to work or relax hmm

I would ignore him I think. He'll soon get bored with complaining. grin

rollerbaby Wed 19-May-10 21:40:17

I think he has a bloody cheek! I would say you've spoken to your children, but obviously children will be children and they have as much right to play as he does to work!

I think on the weekends it is fair enough that your kids aren't screeching all day, but a few boisterous sessions are tolerable by intolerant neightbours I should think... they are kids after all.

It's worth saying something - you don't want him to get nasty and start shouting at your children or call the LA.

Poor you that is really annoying and stressful. Enjoy your nice garden - he will get used to it.

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:40:59

He was probably just especially grumpy as thought he was going to have to put up with that level of noise on a regular basis. Now you've explained I'm sure he will be fine.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:41:02

For those saying about children being expected to be in the garden after 4pm (which I find hilarious!), what about preschool children? Surely they would be in the garden during the day?

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:43:23

I was extremely reasonable when I spoke with him. I tried to offer solutions. I explained we were putting up a fence across the back this week (the landscapers haven't finished that bit yet) and that may help. My husband went over to speak with him this evening and the guy was unable to talk to him as he had people there for business. Good thing my kids weren't in the garden tonight (they were tucked up in bed actually, unlike the neighbours from hell whose kids are still in the garden screaming the place down now). My husband gave him his mobile number and email address too.

Millimat Wed 19-May-10 21:43:57

Does he actually have any children to know what childhood is about?!!

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:44:16

Honestly, these trampolines should be banned. wink My neighbour has one and their DD screams like she's on a rollercoaster when she's on it! If I had to listen to that for a week (thinking it was going to be something that was going to happen week in, week out) I'd be grumpy too.

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 21:47:36

Well, yes, but preschoolers would probably not be noisily trampolining at the bottom of the garden...there might be some sort of supervision involved?

JodieO Wed 19-May-10 21:48:09

I think Ivykaty makes a good point about working and rates.

I wouldn't move the trampoline (although we have a climbing frame) but I do ask mine to keep it down and if it gets too noisy with screaming and shouting then they have to come inside. They are 8, 6 and 2. I know I wouldn't want to hear lots of screaming all the time so I expect my neighbours don't either!

They obviously do play and make some noise but I make sure they keep it down and aren't fighting etc.

IveStillGotIt Wed 19-May-10 21:48:25

Tell the stupid arsehole to fuck off, thats what I would do!
The stupid old bitch next door to me moans about the stupidist of things, i.e she can hear ds jumping about on his wii through the wall (this is during the day, after school, not 10pm!), she was moaning that my grass, in MY garden was too long, and if I didn't cut it she would phone the council!
WTF has MY garden got to do with that old bag, it's not as if it was over-flowing into HER garden. Fucking busy-body!
OP- YANBU, that twat is, your dc's are in their own garden, playing DURING THE DAY, not 10pm, so tell him to fuck off and mind his own!

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 21:50:43

...& you obviously think it's inappropriate for your other neighbours' kids to be screaming round their garden now.

I agree, it is, but equally, it'd be considerate not to have your lot doing likewise all day!

A bit of compromise & consideration might go a long way.

Butterball Wed 19-May-10 21:51:11

Honestly, I'm not some grumpy old woman. blush I HE too so mine are out in the garden all day too. I'm very aware that all other gardens are very quiet as older children are all at school. If I had a grumpy neighbour glowering over the fence I'd just ignore them too as mine aren't making an unreasonable amount of noise.

I only posted about moving the trampoline as a gesture towards your grumpy neighbour so you didn't end up with the kind of relationship I ened up with in my last house. But you sound like you have similar with your other neighbour anyway!

You do sound like you've been reasonable so I shall change my vote to just ignore him. wink

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:52:14

Why is everyone assuming I am not supervising my children just because the trampoline is at the bottom of the garden? I am usually out there with them (though not always), especially if my littlest is on it. When we have friends here (which is when the noise is highest), we are all out there together - adults too. It seems odd to assume the noise level is due to a lack of supervision.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 21:54:36

Do you really NOT think it is too late for children to be out screaming in the garden at 10pm?? shock But that is not my issue with the neighbours from hell anyway - nothing to do with the kids screaming in the garden at this time of night. Due to the layout of my flat, I can only hear it if I go in the kitchen so it is not bothering me at all. I mentioned it as it will clearly be annoying the neighbour who complained (and he said as much earlier to me) so I was using it to show that I thought he might be glad my kids are not doing that!

colditz Wed 19-May-10 22:00:40

I would do nothing. The noise of children playing between 9 and 5 is, if you work near wherew children live, an occupational hazard.

In other words, tough shit. He should buy some ear guards if it's bothering him that much.

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 22:06:38

No, I agree with you, it's bloody inconsiderate of your other neighbours.

I just think there's a parallel between their antisocial behaviour & yours.

If you said to your neighbour, OK, we'll ban noisy garden activities until the afternoon, so at least you get a morning for quiet working before the kids all kick off, I'd be agreeing with you that he should shut up & put up.

But it does sound like the poor bloke is subjected to it all day AND all night! No wonder he's fed up.

tatt Wed 19-May-10 22:07:11

OP I am actually surprised that you feel your children have the right to live their lives without considering other people. They need to learn to consideration for others, not to expect the world to always adapt to them. If you want them to have total freedom they will be unbearable later in life.

You don't think your neighbours have a right to do as they please when it bothers you and are already planning action against them. You have totally different standards when you are the one causing the problem.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 22:15:10

I do not feel my children have the right to live their lives without consideration to others. Quite the opposite. Anyone who knows me in RL would tell you that one of my bug bears is people who live that way. And I have talked to my children about noise and the garden.

However, I do not think that what they are doing is unreasonable. Or the hours they are doing it. As was pointed out before, this is a residential area, not an office area. They are making residential type noise during the daytime.

aactionmum Wed 19-May-10 22:18:24

Ignore. Council won't do anything, because they only interfere if you play loud music,TV etc. Noise made by children playing in the garden, or in the house is not considered as nuisance. That's what my council told me.

WoTmania Wed 19-May-10 22:20:29

Raven - I think OP has suggested working out times when the children can or can't play outside but he doesn't want them making any noise at all. Ever.

paisleyleaf Wed 19-May-10 22:24:22

My mum lives very close to a family with a trampoline. it's the actual repetitive, creaking, spring, noise of the trampoline that can do your head in too.

OtterInaSkoda Wed 19-May-10 22:24:53

Hmm. I don't think three bouncing, shrieking DCs is "residential^ noise. Well at least it isn't all day, every day. Having said that, you say you've tried to negotiate times that he'll tolerate the noise so you're not being that unreasonable really.

However, you also ask, "If someone worked shifts and had to sleep during the day, surely you would not think that the world should be quiet for him?". To which I'd reply, "Well, yes". For example none of the neighbourhood DCs play outside number 35 in the day because the chap who lives there works all night in a factory. That's fair enough, imo. I remember doing the same as a child - keeping quiet near number whateveritwas that is, not working in a factory. They'd banned 7yos from working in factories by the mid-70s. At least in Wiltshire they had... grin

Lotkinsgonecurly Wed 19-May-10 22:25:36

OP, I completely get the children's need to exercise during the day. But maybe the neighbour would be more used to 'school type hours'. As some others have suggested can you compromise and suggest the children won't play on the trampoline during term time between 9 - 3pm apart from a lunch break 12 - 1 ? That way the children can play freely after 3pm and during lunch but the neighbour will be free to work relatively quietly during the morning? Weekends and holidays will just have to be a free for all. Perhaps the your dc's can have alternate play sessions during the mornings closer to the house and therefore away from the neighbours house?

Obviously there may be some exceptions to this but if you warned him, ie tomorrow lots of kids, then he could make alternate arrangements?

traceybath Wed 19-May-10 22:27:46

Agree with those who say that when you work from home the risk you take is there will be noise from gardens etc.

As long as your children aren't making excessive amounts of noise - I think he's just going to have to accept that there will be more noise than there was.

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 22:29:09

Yes, I get that, & I agree that he can't expect any such thing.

I just don't see that it'd be such a mahoosive problem for the OP to restrict riotous use of the garden to after lunch, say, thereby reclaiming the moral high ground...she could then point out that he's had all morning to enjoy reasonable quiet, & that her dc aren't the ones disturbing his evenings.

To my mind, it'd just be more neighbourly.

IlanaK Wed 19-May-10 22:33:08

Raven, I see your point about being reasonable. I just can't see it working for us. Our day is just not structured like that. The boys often go on the trampoline before they start working (not too loudly!) and it helps them work better. They take short breaks during their work (we often work outside at the moment as the weather is good) to play on the trampoline. Some days we are in and some days we are out (which I did explain to him). Some days we have friends here and some days we don't (again explained to him).

ravenAK Wed 19-May-10 22:41:17

It seems you aren't willing to alter any of that?

I'm not convinced that anyone actually needs regular trampoline breaks.

I do see that you've tried to be pleasant with him, & that he's a killjoy.

But it does come across rather as 'we do what we like, when we like, & stuff anyone it inconveniences'.

anonandlikeit Fri 21-May-10 21:41:28

You both have an equal right to use your home & garden BUT I would move the trampoline it shows an element of comprimise, good neighbours are worth their weight in gold.
He is going to have to get used to kids next door & the noise they make but try & make it a bit easier on the poor bloke.

NormaSnorks Sat 22-May-10 17:07:05

I feel sorry for the poor guy, even if he has come across as a bit grumpy.

Whoever was going on about how he shouldn't be working at home is talking rubbish - how do you know he's not paying business rates (and tax...?)

DH & I work from home and the noise of the neighbour's kids in the garden (they are REAL shriekers!) means that we can't really make calls or concentrate after 3.30 BUT at least we know that we can plan around school hours.

This poor guy has probably had his life turned upside down by the arrival of you & your noisy family hmm. He can't plan his day, concentrate, get his work done or anything - he doesn't know when he's next going to be disturbed by random and prolonged shrieking.

It's not fair to expect him to 'hope' that you'll be out for the day on Monday so he can get some work done hmm.

Agree with Otter and others who say you are being very unreasonable. I also think you are setting your kids a bad example about not having any due concern for a neighbour.

I agree - you don't sound willing to compromise in any way - shame on you.

Trafficcone Sat 22-May-10 17:14:41

I am a mother of 4 but if my neighbour had children
screeching on the trampoline during school hours I'd be pretty bloody pissed off when I'm on my day off.
We have strict rules that loudness means you get off the trampoline and come inside. No duct tape needed, just discipline. I also don't allow mine outside on it if my neighbours are eating in their garden or have friends over. It's just courtesy.
If I were you I'd move it and lay down some rules with your kids on how to have fun AND respect others. Then, like someone said if he complains again you can say "I have moved it and implemented these rules" and you'll look alot more reasonable than

Jamieandhismagictorch Sat 22-May-10 17:17:19

I think that someone working from home during the day (unless they live near a school - when there would be set play times) would expect it to be quiet between 9-4, so I can see his point.

Jamieandhismagictorch Sat 22-May-10 17:19:17

Sorry. I see Lotkinsgotcurly made the same point.

Jamieandhismagictorch Sat 22-May-10 17:23:36

and Norma

rainbowinthesky Sat 22-May-10 17:24:56

It would drive me barmy listening to 3 kids on a trampoline all day especially if you'd put it at the end of your garden.

I live in the countryside, the cows keep mooing, shall I tell the farmer to gag them? It's disturbing my zen like state! hmm

I don't think it's unreasonable at weekends or on hot days for kids to make noise in gardens - during the day - after all in this country we don't get many nice days.

I work from home, yes sometimes we can hear noises - we moved here because it's quieter than cities. It's sort of a given if you live in a city that it will be loud most of the time. Similarly if you move to the middle of sodding nowhere, it may be quieter (except at harvest time).

I don't think you need to do anything, talk to the kids about being quiet, but I will bet you anything what he is really objecting to is the parties you've had the last three days.

And your two year old will learn to talk really soon and get (slightly) quieter. I'm in the same boat and in the last few months there's been less squarks and more talks.

Earlybird Sat 22-May-10 17:53:27

I know you must feel unhappy to have finally got your garden - and also to have it landscaped exactly the way you want - and now someone is complaining about how you use it!

I think there are a few things at play here, that might make your neighbour extra-tetchy:

1. The house/garden were quiet before you/the family moved in so he is unaccustomed to the noise.
2. The fact that you HE your dc means there is not 'guaranteed' quiet time for him to work without being disturbed.
3. Your other neighbours/their dc are unpleasant/difficult, and he is in dispute with them so is possibly over-sensitive to your dc and their noise
4. Three days with guests/their dc in the garden/on the trampoline for most of the day (on weekdays) probably pushed him over the edge

He is unreasonable to say your dc shouldn't be in the garden playing and making a 'normal' amount of noise. But you need to give him some idea about when he can count on working undisturbed.

As someone said earlier, perhaps you can allow the dc to play/make noise during a lunch break. Otherwise, if you wish to use the trampoline as a way of the dc 'blowing off steam' so they can concentrate better, they must use the trampoline in a considerate way - ie, jumping but no shouting, screeching, yelling, etc.

He can't expect/demand that you completely alter the use of the garden to suit his schedule and lifestyle, but you cannot expect to use the garden without exercising consideration for neighbours.

Maybe you need to move the trampoline to another part of the garden and he needs to move his office to another part of his house. And, I'm only half joking....

bellavita Sat 22-May-10 18:00:48

I have just put this to DH (as I think the guy is being very unreasonable).

DH said to tell him to pee off!! (he didn't quite say it like that though grin ).

Your children should be allowed to play in their own garden when and where they like.

Jamieandhismagictorch Sat 22-May-10 18:02:16

Good post Earlybird.

bellavita Sat 22-May-10 18:03:24

Traffic - you don't allow yours outside if neighbours are eating out there shock, blimey.

Whippet Sat 22-May-10 18:18:04

Earlybird speaks good sense!

The noise kids make on trampolines is a pet hate of mine - it's just soooooo piercing. We have one, but the kids know that if they make too much noise they have to come off - as someone said, it's just good discipline and respect for others.

Most people seem to have a good sense of 'common courtesy' around here

- no mowing/power tools very early/ very late
- no bonfires until early evening (when washing is in)
- general good 'neighbourliness'

CoupleofKooks Sat 22-May-10 18:34:15

school children have regular breaks during the day when they are allowed to run about and make noise - it's to be expected

i do agree though that really noisy behaviour (screaming, loud yelling for no reason) should be discouraged - at any time - it is only considerate

nighbynight Sat 22-May-10 18:48:06

I am not sure that I believe that the children are making so much noise that he cant hear on the phone.

I work at home, and my and the neighbours children play outside. I can do telephone conferences with no problem. Does he have double glazing? If so, then he should be ok.

One of our neighbours made similar complaints - turned out, that he wanted to work on his balcony, and he was complaining about the children playing in teh gardens, during the afternoon.

I dont think it is reasonable to expect children not to be able to play, because people are now working from home.

If you want to offer a compromise, how about the children not playing on the trampoline in the mornings?

marcsalmond Sat 22-May-10 18:54:50

our neighbours had a trampoline and the kids make a right racket on it. also if they're home schooled and it goes on throughout the day i'm not suprised it's annoying him. move it and tell the kids to quiten it down a bit during working hours maybe?

werewolf Sat 22-May-10 19:14:13

IlanaK - I think you went wrong when you decided to have the trampoline so far away from your house. You have 100 ft garden, what was wrong with halfway?

nooka Sat 22-May-10 19:37:27

Perhaps it would help if you tried to think about it from his point of view? He presumably has been working from home for a while, and may have built his extension specifically for that purpose. He already has big problems with your existing neighbours from the noise 4pm onwards (and probably more, given that you say it is a long running dispute with SS etc involved). Now you have moved in, presumably there was a fair amount of noise when your gardeners were working, and then he has probably felt that he has had the week from hell. If the noise is such that he can't work, then that is going to be a huge issue for him, as presumably that is how he earns his living. So it is hardly surprising that he has not reacted well. Given that you have a very long garden placing the trampoline close to his garden could seem pretty thoughtless.

I've worked from home fairly frequently and on the whole suburban areas are very quiet during the day, you wouldn't expect lots of loud children outside of school hours, as home schooling is still really very unusual (much more so than working from home).

I can also see how frustrating it is for you, but surely some compromise could be reached.

elvislives Sat 22-May-10 19:42:52

I'm so glad you aren't my neighbour and I'm shock at the number of posters saying he'll have to put up with it. Why should he?

We had 3 of these damn trampolines appear last year- next door either side and over the back. The racket made by the actual bouncing plus the screeching that goes with it is unbearable. To get that all day long 7 days a week is a form of torture.

I didn't allow my 4 children to scream or screech in the garden when they were little. It really isn't necessary or fair.

IlanaK Sat 22-May-10 22:13:22

I am surprised this thread is still going. I have only just come back to it.

There is a general assumption that my children are out there all day everyday screaming. That is just not the case as I explained to him. It was an unusual week. The rest of last week we were out. Even in the hot weather today, the kids were on the trampoline only a little and were not screaming.

The main screaming comes from my toddler, but also the noise levels raise significantly when we have friends over which is certainly not something that happens everyday.

Incidentally, my husband has been over twice now to speak with him about it and both times the neighbour has said he is too busy to talk to him. I am sorry to say that I think this guy is just a fairly intolerant neighbour.

We have decided to keep the trampoline exactly where it is, we have spoken with our children about noise, and we will continue with our normal life where we are home somedays and out others and have friends on and off. My husband will continue trying to speak with him about it and will again try to find out if there are times of day that he really does not want anyone out there (though I have already asked this). I think overall we are being reasonable and considerate neighbours which is all I want from the neighbours around me.

Earlybird Sun 23-May-10 00:55:25

I am also willing to bet that double glazing or no, your neighbour has been working with windows open due to the recent heat. If that is the case, any excessive noise from your garden is more intrusive.

toccatanfudge Sun 23-May-10 01:16:41

why would someone working from home expect it to be quiet 9-4??? Surely there are going to be people in residential areas with pre-school age children???

Tortington Sun 23-May-10 01:20:56

its just about consideration on your side - which i am sure you are now.

and some tolerance on his - which if he has a stick up his arse about it - will not get solved

Jamieandhismagictorch Sun 23-May-10 15:43:01

toccata = quite right. But it is what he has been used to

nighbynight Sun 23-May-10 16:42:39

earlybird, I dont think anyone has the right to work at home with windows open, or on the balcony, or in the garden, and expect total quiet. No doubt his workplace offers an office, where he can get total quiet.
If he wants to work at home, he should provide himself with a suitable office, and one of the basic requirements should surely be, that it's got adequate noise-proofing.

One of our neighbours has this vision of himself working on the balcony at home, a sort of ideal lifestyle - but that is not what working at home is about. You have to be realistic about the different environment, not just expect it to work for you the same as the office but better.

How are our children going to grow up, if they arent allowed to play, because it interferes with adult work?

Earlybird Sun 23-May-10 16:47:29

nighbynight - I wasn't suggesting that the neighbour should expect to work in peace with windows/doors open. I was simply suggesting that without the sound 'barrier' of closed windows/double glazing, he may be even more sensitive to outside noise...which in turn could explain his lack of tolerance.

nighbynight Sun 23-May-10 16:55:35

yes, sorry, I didnt mean to make my post sound like an attack on you!

I was making the point, that working at home is not what it's often portrayed as, the perfect lifestyle etc, and he ought to invest in a good working environment, that includes soundproofing.

spottedandstriped Sun 23-May-10 20:58:05

Sorry but I think that you do have to respect his view on this. It must be incredibly difficult if he has to work at home and is really disturbed by this.

FWIW I am living somewhere at the moment where it is really difficult for my toddler and generally make noise - I just go to the park.....

IlanaK Sun 23-May-10 20:58:42

Looking at his extension, I seriously doubt it has double glazing. However, he has told us that it is being rebuilt soon due to subsidence issues. I certainly hope he thinks about sound proofing when he does that.

Just so you all don't think I am a terrible neighbour, I had told the kids they could go outside on the trampoline this morning at 10am (I said this yesterday) rather than 9 am as it was Sunday. However, terrible neighbours had a really loud party in the garden last night until all hours and I knew that grumpy neighbour would have got no sleep as his bedroom is on that side. So we kept the kids quiet and off the trampoline until after lunch. We ARE considerate, but I am not willing to keep my kids in all day or off the trampoline just because he wants it quiet.

spottedandstriped Sun 23-May-10 20:59:16

sorry - meant to say .."where it is really difficult for my toddler to generally make noise..."

manicmij Fri 23-Jul-10 12:13:06

Noise is noise no matter what is causing it.
Having experience of the influx of trampolines in gardens and the noise created by children especially when groups are playing I would in a way support the neighbour;I do not accept his reasoning though.

During both winter and summer I suffer from horrendous noise from these dangerous toys. At times I am concerned when I see the number of kids on at one time. Has no-one heard of the accidents sustained when more than one child is on the equipment.

The noise limits my pleasure in sitting in my garden, reading or watching t.v. or having conversations in my house with any window at all open both winter and summer. Sometimes until 10 p.m. at night when the weather is fair. Would you put up with someone playing loud music or a dog barking for several hours every day and at weekends that basically limits your own rights to enjoy your own property. I very much doubt it. Why does everyone now adays feel that anyone's problem should be accepted by absolutely everyone else.

Have a word with the neighbour and agree reasonable times for noisy activities.

Siomb Wed 28-Jul-10 17:59:55

You self-indulgent load of arrogant, ignorant imbeciles! We don't all have unruly children, keep them quiet and neighbours won't have a problem. Your bloody child doesn't have a right to use your rusty trampoline, I hope the bloke complains on you to the council you mad cow. What a load of uneducated idiots. You really know how to do peoples heads in, you're all the type to let them go round like maniacs in supermarkets and be confrontational when asked to DISCIPLINE your brats.

Hey, don't sit on the fence, Siomb! wink

whoopstheregoesmymerkin Wed 28-Jul-10 18:40:07

He is a MOG (miserable old git).
Send the kids round with lots of egg boxes for soundproofing and enjoy your summer.

trixymalixy Mon 02-Aug-10 00:06:25

Hmmm you sound as inconsiderate as your neighbour is intolerant.

Children should be allowed to have fun, but should never override an adult trying to work.

Say your DH worked from home, would you just let your kids do what they liked and make as much noise as they liked or try to give your DH some peace to get on with things?

Have a think about it.

Our neighbour has put their trampoline right at the bottom of their garden, so close to our garden that their bouncing little shrieklings can now see right into our living room - our gardens are at a sort of right angle. The noise is deafening, and very unpleasant. I fully accept that children can and should play outside but there is nothing more irritating than constant screeching and being watched when you are trying to go about your life in your own home. Simply moving the trampoline might make a big difference - I am very sorry to say that the trampoline has totally spoiled our relationship with our neighbour. sad And for those saying close the windows, unless you have air conditioning, this isn't really feasible in hot weather. Let's face it, nobody would put up with an adult bellowing at the top of their voice for hours on end, or a dog barking incessantly but if it's children we're all supposed to be grateful. Most kids managed to play and have fun before the invention of Satan's springboard - and why is it impossible to trampoline quietly? I vote for moving the instrument of torture nearer to your own home - this could go a long way to restore some good will.

I'm definitely buying a trampoline now.

seratonin Mon 09-Aug-10 16:34:13

You're the one who's being a selfish cock. Everyone who has a house with a garden has a right to enjoy it in peace. Children are your personal choice - they're not everyone's - don't inflict your choice on others. I hope one day you'll live on your own/without children, then you might realise how intrusive children's playing/screaming can be. UK parents with children are generally very inconsiderate to others - in gardens, shops, hotels, restaurants/pubs etc They deserve to be ostracised/excluded.

LoveMyPadres Mon 23-Jan-12 00:26:48

I know this is an old thread, but it's a hard issue. I bought a house in the suburbs to have a place for my kids to play outside. We have a grumpy woman neighbor who complains whenever the children play outside. She used to call the police every day; they eventually stopped coming, or at least stopped stopping. We went to mediation, and agreed to have the kids off the out of the front of the house by 7pm on weekdays, 8 on Friday/Saturday. In return, she would not call the police anymore. This worked for a year or so, but she really hates the sound of children playing, so she has started calling to the children to get their parents, and she's complaining about noise again. She only does this when my (the husband's) car is not home. Everyone I speak to thinks it is ridiculous to have unreasonable limits on childrens playtime. I understand her want for quiet, but this is a family neighborhood, and we were here first (though we had chldren later). I don't think the kids should be making noise at 10;00 at night, but coming in an hour before sunset in the summer, when it is finally cool enough to play, is a bit silly. I think in a family neighborhood, kids have the right to play reasonably. I don't want screaming and yelling, or taunting of the problem neighbor, just reasonable play. She characterizes ALL PLAY as screaming and yelling, as she has no tolerance for children at all. She has hassled all the neighbors for everything else; parking in front of her house, doing work on their own homes, etc. Here in the states, you don't own the area in front of your home, it is public property. She just has to have her way at all times, or she complains until she gets it. It stinks.

PlinkertyPlonk Mon 23-Jan-12 11:26:15

Wow - I'm glad I don't have most of you as neighbours. Whatever happened to communication and compromise? It clearly is an annoyance for your neighbour (regardless of whether you or anyone else think he's in the right or wrong), so ignoring him/telling him to FO isn't going to make anyone feel any better.

Key things for me here:
1. When he moved in, your neighbour may have chosen the house because it wasn't next to a school or nursery.
2. Children do make noise, but not normally between 9-5 unless it's school holidays or you have toddlers. You have effectively set up a school next to his office, so this will have changed the noise levels through out the day considerably.
3. I've lived/worked at home on my own for a number of years. I also now have noisy children. I can honestly say that living on your own, you have no idea how noisy children are (if not restrained/bribed/distracted!), but also as a family you get used to the background noise and many families are completely ignorant of (or chose to ignore) the disruption it can cause to others. Like your neighbours on your other side.
4. Home working is not the same thing as running your own business. And if he is running his own business, if may well be registered at that address and be paying the appropriate rates.
5. If you are on calls to people the other side of the world on crackly phone lines, or if you are talking to VPs/CEOs, having children screaming in the background on your calls is very distracting and unprofessional. As a result, he will have had to think about changing his daily schedule.

What strikes me is that you understand why it's noisy, but he's not been given the heads-up in advance. Likewise, it's not nice to have a student party over the road all night - but you'd feel in more control of the situation if you were forewarned and could make other arrangements/had agreed a time when the noise would be shut off.

I personally would be nice-as-pie to the neighbour, kill him with kindness (without bending over backwards to his demands) because it's difficult for someone to get uptight and still appear reasonable if it appears a solution is being negotiated. A time-table would go along way to help resolve the situation. Your kids need time to let off steam without stepping on eggshells, and he needs time to concentrate. If he's not making time to speak to you (he may well be busy with work), then how about sending him a letter, outlining a schedule and asking what time of day is it critical that he gets some quiet time. Also, it might be worth offering to pop over when the kids are being noisy, just to understand how it is affecting him. And no need to move the trampoline, but you could always offer to erect a 20ft sound-baffling fence or leylandii and watch his reaction. grin

GeekLove Mon 23-Jan-12 11:32:53

Zombie thread...

PlinkertyPlonk Mon 23-Jan-12 14:25:29

Oh hell. Just noticed the date, thanks Geek! Hopefully they've got the situation sorted by now!!

Hetty36 Thu 29-Mar-12 13:17:35

I have the same problem, we have moved 6 months ago next to a retired couple, the type with not a weed in the garden! we are a normal middle class family my husband works long hours, we are respectable and keep our garden tidy and are quite house proud etc ... the village is very child friendly. We have 4 children, 3 boys 13, 8 and 4, also a daughter 11. The gardens are close together and our children often play on the trampoline which can get noisy! I monitor this as I cant stand the shrieks either but as most parents know this can be constant! My female neighbour came around this morning and asked if the children can be quite in the garden!! as they like to sit out in the summer. I was polite and agreed that last night they had been v noisy and had already been spoken to about it but said they are children.
Its only for a couple of hours after school when they play in the garden and not always on the trampoline but they often have the usual sibling arguments. I feel offended and quite upset about it as they are good children should I ask them to be quite when playing and monitor every second they are playing!!?

With the original post I would say I would have the trampoline nearer the house then you can keep an eye on the children for noise and safety also If they are home schooled I would limit time outside between 9 and 3 maybe take them for a walk at lunch as you don't want to make enemies of you neighbours as It Is very easy to especially when you feel they are attacking you and your family!

fairouzeh Tue 10-Apr-12 10:55:28

I'm glad this thread has been revived. I'm in a pickle about what to do about noisy children from a neighbouring house, but am well aware that I have a baby and 2 cats, none of whom make much noise on a regular basis but when they do it is hard to control! Generally I make sure it is inside and out of earshot of the neighbours as much as possible.

Situation: We live in a lovely little village and have a house in a gated community. We all have our own gardens and then a fantastic shared grounds that surrounds the houses. Its not a huge area, but is beautiful and peaceful the bulk of the time.

However, one of the neighbours bought by far the largest house as a holiday home (Cost a million so you can imagine their financial position). Their 3 children are currently screaming their lungs out in the communal area and I am being driven potty. They are outside my door and I feel very upset that their parents don't ask them to respect the neighbours more. This happens quite frequently - they come down on weekends and holidays now and they seem to prefer the communal area to their own fairly large garden.

I am hesitant about approaching the parents as I know that I myself have a baby and cats to contend with.

I remember as a child my parents were always so careful to teach us there was a time and place for being loud, and they always made it clear how grateful they were to us when we played more quietly. We also lived in a similar situation, with all the neighbours having their own gardens but all sharing a communal area.

What to do??

ragged Tue 10-Apr-12 11:06:37

<<Is IlanaK still around? We swapped books once...>>

FAIROUZEH: if the children are out there in civilised hours then I would take it as reasonable for them to make noise in a communal area. That said, what harm would it do for you to ask them nicely to play a bit further away from your door or more quietly.

hairytale Sun 15-Apr-12 06:53:08

i would move the teampoline, limit their trampoline time and control their noise a bit.

Finishing Mon 16-Apr-12 15:13:37

I would ignore him. I have complained to my neighbours about noise, but when he was drilling after 9pm. I would never complain about children making noise, and my next door have a baby who cries at night sometimes. People are allowed to have families, and he needs to soundproof or move to an island on his own.

cumbria81 Thu 19-Apr-12 11:40:29

I am also shock at the number of people saying the neighbour is in the wrong.

Living close to people requires compromise - his is to not have total peace and quiet and yours is to try and minimise the noise you do make. I think at the least you should move the trampoline.

fairouzeh Thu 03-May-12 14:28:44

I agree with the neighbour to an extent. If you are new in a neighbourhood, where many people live in close proximity, you should do your best to integrate, taking your neighbours into account. Most importantly you teach your children to respect others and their right to peace and quiet. If you can find a balance, agreeing that at certain times of day the kids can make noise and at others it is adult time, then everyone wins.

Just because they are children, doesn't mean they have the right to yell and scream whenever they are outdoors. If you want to live in an environment like that they you move to a detached property in the suburbs/countryside. If you choose urban living, you accept that you have to take others into account.

IllegitimateGruffal0Child Thu 03-May-12 19:44:45

This thread is 2 years old. I hope it's sorted now!

lovetomoan Mon 07-May-12 12:30:31

Ignore him. Children make noise. As long it is not after 10pm, he will have to get over it.

MayaAngelCool Sat 12-May-12 11:56:30

I am shocked by the number of posters who don't give a toss about the inconvenience to this neighbour. I would hate to have a neighbour who took that attitude if I made a reasonable complaint.

IMO there's got to be give and take on both sides. There may be other problems to contend with in the future, and you may both stand to benefit from having worked at developing a good relationship. And even if there are no future problems, having good neighbours is like gold dust.

This is what I would do:

Invite him over for tea, and make it a really nice one. If he has kids, make it a whole family affair. If not, try to arrange for your kids to play at friends' houses. (I assume from his ridiculous demands about weekend time that he doesn't have kids.)

You need to get to know each other a bit if you want to resolve neighbourly disputes in a constructive manner. Right now you both think each of you is a self-centred prick, so how are you going to remedy this without spending time together?

During the conversation tell him that you're really sorry that your children have caused so much disruption and that perhaps you reacted badly when he first raised the issue. You'd really like to find an amicable compromise since both of you have conflicting home arrangements, and you're determined to find a workable solution.

Explain your position, then offer several compromises:

- specified weekday trampoline time (trampoline stays where it is)
- moving the trampoline and the children play on it when they want to/ you specify times
- other ideas you can think of?
- if you're offering to pay extra to move the trampoline (in frankly I think you'd be selfish not to) say there's always the option of him moving his office inside

If he refuses to make any concessions then put the ball in his court. Say you are trying your best to make things better for him but unless he comes on board as well you cannot see how this can work. Give him time to go away and think things over if he's being stubborn.

I would refuse to let him bully you over weekends - he wants to relax in the garden - so what? His leisure time is not more valuable than anyone else's. Why don't you sort out the weekday arrangements first and then agree to discuss weekends once you've tried it out?

notfarmingatthemo Sat 12-May-12 14:11:47

Just read this to my dds aged 9 and 6 and my dh. Dd1 said you can't move trampoline as it will cost to much to safely surface another area. dd2 said you can't move it as its to big to she then said we don't make to much noise. Dh said he has know rights in law so ignore.
We have gardens all round our and I think my children are the nosiest because they use the garden. I do call them in if they are getting to noisy but kids change what they are doing all the time so its never for very long

godssake Mon 21-May-12 17:13:45

First and foremost you moved in with god knows how may kids after your neighbour !! Trampolines are the scourge of decent neighbourhoods. Some parents say its all about the childrens excercise !! Wrong ! so you pass off your kids with a plastice peice of apparatus for them to injure themselves and then be a burden on the A&E department.

As for excercise it never hurt any child to get that at school or from being taken on walks, cycling,, The scourge is responsible for god knows how many neighbour disputes and yet again another introduction from the yanks .

As for the legal side of things any neighbour is free to keep a log of noise either written or by audio recording and then go to any magistrate court and lay down the eveidence and request a hearing. Anti social behaviour will cover this too. Is it too much to ask for decent peace loving people to want peace and quiet in their lives, if you have kids and want them to make noise then live on an estate where the vast majority of people dont give a cuss about anyone else and live their lives like ferral people after the bomb has dropped.

Sick and tired of hearing the same old sayings .... there only children and they need understanding, they need to let off steam. yeah right

JayelleBee Wed 23-May-12 23:16:40

Fuck's sake. If he wants total silence he should go and live in the middle of nowhere.

You could ask your kids not to shriek as much (I do that with mine when it gets too noisy, we have trampolines, climbing frame, swings and slide) and to be mindful/respectful of the neighbours, but that is definitely enough on your side.

People live and work next to airports and manage to cope with the noise.

Agree that you are in a residential area and therefore someone using their home as a workplace really doesn't have grounds to complain.

I'd put money on him coming to your door with a new complaint if you shifted the trampoline. Some people just like complaining.

NeverendingStoryteller Sat 26-May-12 14:56:29

Tell him if he doesn't stop complaining that you'll go and buy some yappy dogs...

Wow this thread is 2 years old?!?

I wonder what the op did with the trampoline......?

Paul19842 Tue 21-Aug-12 13:29:33

In response to the initial post and the first few which suggested ignoring the complianant was the best policy, why as parents is it impossible to comprehend the notion of bringing your children up to respect social etiquette and keep the noise levels to an acceptable volume?

When I was a kid in 1970s London my parents made sure noise levels were kept low and if a neighbour complained they, like most parents of the era, would be mortified and make sure we kept our noise down in the garden.

If somebody's livelihood or simply their peace of mind depends upon low noise levels, then why is it now considered so unreasonable to ask a parent to control their children's noise levels?

Surely parks and desginated play areas are designed to take children to let off steam and scream and shout (as indeed are schools!) where they have the security of a perimeter fence.

It seems to me that nowadays a lot of parents seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to allow their children to create noise and display unsociable behaviours simply because the parents don't seem willing to go to the trouble of taking their children to designated play areas and parks - thereby investing time in the children.

Too many paretns are happy, it would seem, to "dump" their children's noise and unsociable behaviour onto others living in the community. Responsibility comes with having children and too few parents nowadays seem to have that, the overuse of cars during the school run being a shining example.

evansthebread Sun 09-Sep-12 00:10:14

Well said, Paul.

I'm living next door to 3 kids and their trampoline. They make a lot of noise, but the most when they've hurt themselves and are running to their mother (who frequently locks them out - they're 6 and 8 - and buggers off somewhere), who is usually nowhere to be seen.

Then, not happy with injuring themselves, they like playing on the street by throwing stones at each other - usually hitting neighbours' cars.

I'll be so relieved when this family moves as they really are the neighbours from hell.

Just to make another point to the OP, and others who simply don't think (benefit of doubt here); please spare a thought for neighbours who work shifts. On our street of 30 houses, 10 homes have shift workers living in them, including ours.

We moved here because of the street's rep as being quiet - and it was for the first 5 years. Then we had the arrival of families that, how can I put this, just don't want to keep the neighbourhood a nice one. We've had the lot here recently - a lady who advertises her services (and those of her female friends) on the internet, a family renting who get rid of their 5 dogs when the landlord has had complaints about barking constantly, only to bring them back a few days later, the couldn't-care-less-about-her-kids chav next door, the anti-social ex-army guy and his teenage boy-racer kids that enjoy nothing better than revving engines at midnight, oh, and the bloke who walks his dogs off the lead, allowing them to bite others' dogs!

The recent and inconsiderate neighbours have actually ALL made attempts to be even noisier when they know their shift-work neighbours are sleeping during the day. Something that I never thought I'd see - and I have a truly evil ex-husband who I thought had done the lot to me (and others) - people behave like this. Not just inconsiderate, but plain nasty.

Now I'm not saying that the OP was being nasty, but a bit of give and take along the lines we had here, where elderly and middle-aged people lived happily with young families. It just needs some common sense and a bit of respect.

BTW, DH works for the emergency services, as do many other shift workers. If Karma exists, maybe she'll find a way of biting these inconsiderates on the arse when they need help (without causing lasting harm, of course). Or, maybe the OP will end up having to take a shift job... There's a reason sleep-deprivation is used as a method of torture.

YompingJo Fri 14-Sep-12 07:49:08

Children do play and if you had lived there for years and he had got used to it over years that would be different. You have come in and upset his peace - I understand his point of view (not saying it is completely right, but I understand it). I work from home in holiday times and next door's children playing in the garden is a big distraction, so much so that I have to stop working sometimes until they have gone inside. But we only moved here recently so they were here first, and I see it as my job to compromise because of that.

Maybe you could have a "break" and "lunch" time, like the kids would get if they were at school, and keep them the same time each day, and let him know when these times are - then he can structure his working day around those a little and he will know when to expect noise. The structured break times in the day would maybe be no bad thing for your boys as they will have to get used to this eventually at secondary school (if you send them) or at work.

You say "Since when did one person's rights hold so much weight?" but aren't you making this the case by holding the weight of your kids' right to play over your neighbour's right to work? You don't sound willing to compromise at all, but communities depend on compromise and give and take. You don't have to stop them playing but their play is causing a problem for someone and there are a couple of quite easy things you could do about it without putting yourself out too much, which I'm sure your neighbour would be grateful for.

YompingJo Fri 14-Sep-12 07:49:35

Bollocks, didn't spot that this was 2 years old!

TudorJess Sat 15-Sep-12 21:15:22

I think you should find a happy compromise. He considers your wishes 50% of the time, you consider his wishes the other 50%. Why should he give in if you're making no concessions to his wishes at all? Have to say that much noise would drive me nuts too. If you homeschool then your DCs will be at home far more than is usually the case, so making noise much more often.

TudorJess Sat 15-Sep-12 21:15:41

Oh no, Zombie thread!

<rolls eyes>

hellokittyrocks Wed 26-Sep-12 18:14:39

U hv to show consideration to your neighbours!!
Especially as u home as kids around all day
I am sure that the kids dont need to be out all day
I agree with others hv times that they go out
So as not to disturb him all day
Also make sure they arent being too noisy like shouting and screaming
If u dont consider him he could make a phone call

Littlefish Wed 26-Sep-12 18:18:39


practicalmom Tue 27-Nov-12 13:34:57

I am in a same sort of situation, with my neighbor complaining that children are 'making noise' very early in the morning and that she works nights. They usually wake up at 6ish. While I agree that she needs her sleep, I also recognize that children singing and chatting is not unreasonable noise and that they too are allowed to sing and chat, after all it is in our house. I also recognize that sound insulation between the two properties is not optimal, but it is a two way thing so unless she is willing to pay for her share not much can be done.

I have found the following document over the intenet, that I found enlightening and states that children playing is hardly 'unreasonable noise'. I hope this may help you make a decision.

Mandz07 Wed 05-Dec-12 23:40:02

I wouldn't move the trampoline, you were reasonable enough to ask him what times of day he would prefer the children not to play outside and his reply is I work all day! And then to tell you the weekends are for relaxing in his garden. When would this man like your children to play in their own garden then?? I would tell the kids to try to keep the noise down while playing on the trampoline but would definitely not move it. Kids will be kids it's not safe for them to play outside anymore so why should they not enjoy themselves in their own back yard xx

MikeOxardInTheSnow Sun 30-Dec-12 15:36:09

I would go round there while they were playing, so you can experience for yourself what the guy is complaining about. How can you judge otherwise? Then you can decide what would be proportionate. I would stop the children from screaming out there on and off all day, because that's not on anyway though.

Arithmeticulous Sun 30-Dec-12 15:39:39


SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Sun 30-Dec-12 15:41:46

Where's Rick Grimes when you need him?!

Kalisi Mon 31-Dec-12 14:35:41

I would move the trampoline and keep an ear out for the noise levels especially during the hours of 9-3 on weekdays. That should be sufficient and if he still has issues after that he would have to lump it.
I think it's a bit rude to do nothing to rectify the situation though. The noise levels were obviously bad enough for him to feel he had to complain about it and moving the trampoline really doesn't seem like a big deal. Ignoring him is just plain rude and inconsiderate IMO.

Kalisi Mon 31-Dec-12 14:37:40

Oh no! That will teach me for not reading the whole thread.

Lukegoslin Mon 27-May-13 11:13:03

Think I'm the only one who is conscious of this.....the kids should be at school during the day not running about making loads of noise.... What do you mean they could be in the garden between 9 and 5. They should get a break at 10 then 12 like normal kids do at school....... You need to teach your kids the difference between what's wrong and right... It's obvious you've got no consideration for others ( I wonder if you went to school) maybes there's a lesson to be learned here.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning Mon 27-May-13 11:15:45


MummaBubba123 Wed 29-May-13 22:09:41

Ignore him. Be happy and enjoy your new garden.
If its not about this, it'll be about something else. He's just a child-hating selfish man.
But I'd not want my children to be screeching on it as it'd be inconsiderate knowing that Moany Pants may be trying to work.

respectothers Mon 08-Jul-13 18:31:50

I cannot believe the self centered attitude of you that say "tough let him get on with it". We have had our life made a misery by a neighbor who moved into a house backing onto mine. They insisted on shouting at their 3 small children from the top of her 200 yard garden at all ours of the day and night resulting in the children shouting back. This escalated to screaming and shrieking, crying, fighting to the extent that it was impossible to sit in the garden and read or even have a conversation. Giving them the benefit of the doubt we thought that they had no idea off the impact they where making. So several of us neighbors with adjoining properties approached them together to ask for the behavior to be modified and explaining that we also have small children and managed to keep a lid on the noise. We even played them recordings of the noise. At that point we where told to "F**K Off and mind our own business as they had no intention of changing their lifestyle". I would point out that the house was purchased for £850,000 and a further £100,000 was immediately spent on it. They have a nanny and the children are aged 10 months, 2 years and 4 years. Most of the noise starts when mummy and daddy get home.
The next stage is to inform Social Services that we think the children are at risk, that should stir things up a bit.

SunshineBossaNova Mon 08-Jul-13 18:40:05


NoComet Mon 08-Jul-13 18:41:58

Tough luck, it's a residential area, if he chooses to have his office in a residential area he is going to have DCs playing during the day.

If he wants peace, he should rent an office or get a lap top and a cordless phone and work on the sofa in his house.

Clearly DSs shouldn't yell and scream, my DDs have to be reminded of that, but they most certainly should be allowed to play.

Bollyknicks Sat 20-Jul-13 16:28:34

I think you are really being very tunnelled visioned about this. You have already made your mind up to be akward! I have 4 children, we live on a beautiful estate with other families... It's very important to respect other people and their life styles. He works from home, what a nightmare having screeching kids when your trying to concentrate ! I don't think it is unreasonable for him to expect rest bite from children during school hours... ! You complain about your other neighbours from hell, you are his neighbour from hell... Move the trampoline, you should be watching the children on that anyway, failing that, stop being a hippy... Send them to school & get a pressurised job and then you will understand where this poor chap is coming from. I feel very sorry for him.

BadSkiingMum Sat 20-Jul-13 18:05:54

I know this is a zombie thread, but I think that anyone in the OP's situation should restrict use of the trampoline during a substantial part of the day, maybe 9.00-12.00.

I appreciate that HE does not work to a particular pattern, but why is it trampolining in particular that the children need to do to relax or take a break? What about skipping? Drawing? Playing with toys? Why not all go for a brisk walk first thing in the morning to get some exercise before beginning the HE activities?

I live in an urban area and neighbours to the rear are currently relaxing by playing loud music. I have had my neighbour's 5 cats 'express themselves' so much in our garden that we had to completely re-design it. Their dogs (at times up to 5 of them) have barked morning, noon and night. Neighbours on the other side have invested in a piano that no one can actually play, not to mention the several months when they were renovating and the swathes of dust coming over meant that our own garden was unusable to our toddler.

I have not, by and large, complained about any of this, as i recognise that this is part and parcel of living in an area of high population density - BUT I think that anyone doing something that affects their neighbours has to recognise that they may be having a huge impact on someone else's life.

PearlyWhites Sat 20-Jul-13 18:12:46

If he wanted peace and quiet he should have lived far away from any neighbours. He is being unreasonable, children play he needs to get over it.

tsumeisienna Mon 22-Jul-13 14:09:20

I just had new neighbours move in and it's made my working from home a living hell! At the moment, it's not the kids as they are still small it's their father who likes to talk at the top of his voice! I have moved my working space/desk from the dining room to the living room and now to the upstairs bedroom that faces away from my back garden but still can't escape his constant chattering. My concern is that if the father is so inconsiderate, what will the children be like when they grow up?!!!

amandafavors2 Mon 19-Aug-13 04:06:58

Just some points of views from another homeschool mom:
#1 My children are only allowed outside after they have done all their school work for the day. This usually at least takes til lunch if not longer.
#2 They have to do their chores before outside time.
#3 When outside: No screaming unless someone is hurt, bleeding, or dyeing.
We try to not send them out to much earlier than a regular school child would be outside. This way others around know approximately what times are going to be more noisy.
As for blockage of noises there are special materials that can go between your yard & theirs to block the noise. Suggest this to your neighbours if you hours of play are still not good for them. Your children deserve to play. The materials are sold online for sure. I know because we had them for a haunted house we worked to block the screaming from the neighborhood.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 19-Aug-13 04:31:44

Yes . suggest this to neighbours 3 years after they complained wink

bloodfuyung Sat 05-Apr-14 13:09:21

This is typical of the sort of selfish attitude of a lot of people nowadays. "should I just ignore him" !!! Don't you think this man has a right to enjoy his garden, just as your kids and you are allowed to enjoy yours?

Your kids should be made to understand that they have to show consideration for those around them. Of course, kids are loud sometimes, and they have to play. But they can be taught to respect the space of others, too. You, as a parent,are responsible for communicating with them.

They are your children, so the noise doesn't bother you. But it is clearly a severe nuisance for this man. Don't be so selfish.

sarahquilt Sat 05-Apr-14 14:02:49

I would suggest that you structure the day a little like a school day with specific play times. They could have half an hour in the mid morning and then an hour or so later in the afternoon. If I were the man I'd be pretty pissed off if it were a situation that noisy kids might come out any time of day and disrupt my work. I think it's only reasonable to compromise.

littlewhitebag Sun 06-Apr-14 11:27:38

This thread is from 2010 folks.

Viviennemary Sun 06-Apr-14 11:32:48

Noisy neighbours are a bit of a nightmare for everyone. Whether it's constant DIY, constantly barking dogs, loud music or screaming children. We should try and be cosiderate of our neighbours and reach a compromise.

Viviennemary Sun 06-Apr-14 12:07:25

I didn't realise.

HappydaysArehere Tue 22-Apr-14 23:44:59

If you are home educating, surely they are only on the trampoline for periods equal to play times at school. I would expect you to have a programme of various educational activities and studies. The two school age children will be involved with writing, reading, maths,geography, history which in turn would involve outings etc. once you have settled into your new home then I would expect these to resume and the chances to cause any nuisance be reduced.

TheZeeTeam Tue 22-Apr-14 23:59:24

See, this is why we don't live in the UK. Everyone is so on top of each other, the slightest thing sends you all barmy!! grin

We have a no shrieking rule on the trampoline, regardless, as I don't like the noise of shrieking kids (playing happily kids noise is something different altogether). They get 2 strikes and they're off. I would never stop my kids going outside because of the neighbours though.

Legologgo Wed 23-Apr-14 00:09:19

My parents had this. Neighbours loved trampoline so they wre right next to their house!

Legologgo Wed 23-Apr-14 00:09:25


NurseyWursey Wed 23-Apr-14 00:14:45

I would tell the kids to be quieter then ignore him. If he wants silence perhaps working from home, a residential area, isn't the place.

HappydaysArehere Wed 23-Apr-14 08:55:42

Go on, be a good neighbour and move the trampoline nearer to the house. It would be safer for the kids anyway and you can smile at your neighbour and shine your halo with gusto. Be happy in your new home and cultivate good relationships around you. However, the garden is for children and their health and enjoyment. That does come first and they can't be bouncing all day! We have children next door and we love it, kid like noise, balls over the fence which they are free to come around to collect at any time. It gives us pleasure. Next to them are children with a trampoline and you could always hear their excitement but it would never bother us. Anyway, they appear to have grown out of it. Probably texting more these days!

Administration Fri 09-May-14 18:16:21

Just sick of parents that dont teach kids to consider neighbors!

The FIRST thing we learnt as kids was not to scream and consider neighbors but i read mums complaints about neighbors asking for a bit of consideration.

Nobody should have the right to effect their neighbors peace and quiet.

We used to have fun and play in your back yard but we were taught to do so but not to make ourselves loud mouth inconsiderate little monsters.

We also had new neighbors move in about 7 years ago. The daughter married but moved in with her husband to their parents and have bred and bred - not working of course-- and made our lives hell on earth.

I also used to work from home as well as take in students but i had to stop both.

One by one the students told me they couldn't live here because they couldn't stand the screaming brats next door. I also had a very dear friend that had lived here for ten years prior who left for the same reason.

I miss my students - and especially my friend all because of rude inconsiderate parents. I cant use my yard or open a window- ever.

My friend was on medication for her nerves for a year before she left and its effected my health too.

Many people called all authorities - including child saftey but nothing was done.

But wait for it! the grandmother has brought into a business called my midwife which is partly bulk billed!

Now this company reckon they educate people on how to raise children.

Couldn't think of a more unsuitable person and the federal government and QLD Minister of child saftey need to wake up.

Its time councils ruled in bi laws against inconsiderate parents allowing their kids to run feral.

Its not the kids fault - its the uneducated selfish mothers .

Purpleroxy Fri 09-May-14 18:22:10

I would not move the trampoline but I would stand and supervise whilst they use it. Would definitely talk to them about not making noise in the garden and if they do, they need to be taken straight inside. My dc are 6 and 8 so similar ages to your bigger 2 and I have taught them that they can't go in the garden too early (not before 9am at weekends) and that they must not disturb the neighbours in any way. No loud mouths, no looking over fences (if on play equipment).

Administration Fri 09-May-14 18:42:02


I feel for you but am selfish enough to be glad i saw your comment. I know you will understand because your going through the same torture.

Yes we too have the ever shouting voices-- so right you are by saying what will the kids grow up like. They dont talk- they shout and especially the eldest kid.

The shouting is constant and i also moved my room three times but there is never any peace .

The swearing and banging doors amongst the constant screaming on top is unbearable.

Yeh my mid wife company sure have classy people i dont think. Dont forget guys this company is supposed to be teaching others on how to raise children.

They moved back in around 6 months ago after leaving for s short period.

Shes having another one! living with her parents and useless husband who cant even keep a roof over their heads but are just having more and more children.

Its a small house - yet they all jam in co existing living on top of each other.

I really resent anybody who thinks they have the right to disturb their neighbors . Time for governments to get cracking on legislation. I am pre guessing some other poster will tel me to move!

Dont bother and its not me-- or us its them. Also if you cant teach kids manners i suggest the government remove them and stop you breeding anymore.

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 09-May-14 18:45:01

I'd ignore the miserable sod.

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 09-May-14 18:46:42

Oh, just seen its a zombie thread.

Administration Fri 09-May-14 18:50:51


nice to know we still have good parents who teach their children to grow up to be good adults.
i just found this thread at 2am pacing with a headache unable to sleep because of the constant stress of the noise from next door.

thankyou for being a good mum and neighbor

Suzanne459 Sat 28-Jun-14 15:46:21

You should not only move the trampoline, but I think the children should be told to keep the noise down so the man can get his work done. Is there not a park nearby where the children can play during office hours. Then they can use the trampoline at the weekends. It's good to be neighborly. Other people's children can be extremely annoying!

Suzanne459 Sat 28-Jun-14 15:47:40

Totally agree.

This thread is 4 years old.

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