15 yr old Neice abused my 2 yr old son

(87 Posts)
Charliebr0wn Sat 19-Nov-16 13:32:32

I can't believe this has happened to my child. It has turned our family upside down. I am thankful my son is unaware and is 100% fine health wise, mentally and physically since the incident.
I cannot forgive my neice. It has been extra difficult with the offender being family. She has not admitted to her indecent behaviour even though there was physical proof. Her parents and our extended family have tried to force happy families again. I can't and won't pretend like everything is OK. It makes me sick beyond belief. Do any of you have any help or advice please? Thank you

Houseofplumroots Sat 19-Nov-16 13:34:28

Um have you not reported it to the police?

OohhThatsMe Sat 19-Nov-16 13:34:38

Have the police been involved, OP?

MidnightVelvetthe7th Sat 19-Nov-16 13:36:05

Have the police or social care been involved? What happened to your son is unforgiveable but most 15 year olds do not abuse toddlers out of nowhere and I would also be worried for your niece.

mrstomriddle Sat 19-Nov-16 13:40:38

I think you might need to give a bit more info. You don't have to detail what happened but how did you find out? What is the proof?

Like others have said - id be worried. I'd also tell the police and I'd never be able to forgive, not for a second.

ninenicknames Sat 19-Nov-16 13:41:04

Agree with midnight. 2 issues here.

So sorry for you in this situation flowers

Charliebr0wn Sat 19-Nov-16 13:41:10

It was reported. It is on her record.

Arfarfanarf Sat 19-Nov-16 13:44:35

Im so sorry. What a dreadful thng to happen.
I would not play happy families with them.
I would have nothing to do with them if that's what they expected.
There are organisations that can support you. If you arent already, please get in touch with them. They will have good advice for you.

mudandmayhem01 Sat 19-Nov-16 13:44:53

Don't post more details on here, go to the police, even if you don't go down the prosecution route you can access proper support ie victim support. Also contact the NSPCC . Thank goodness you found out before your son suffered more abuse.

mudandmayhem01 Sat 19-Nov-16 13:46:10

Sorry x-post seen you have been to the police, did they give you any advice about further support?

Charliebr0wn Sat 19-Nov-16 13:48:17

She told her sister to stay out of the room while she was inside with my son. His clothes had obviously been removed and put back on incorrectly, as had his nappy 😢 which was also full of dog hair. I didn't realise something had happened until I went to change him. I find it hard to believe that my neice has ever been abused herself, she has always been a difficult child, stealing and lying.

YouWereAlwaysPerfect Sat 19-Nov-16 13:49:31

I'm really sorry to hear this, I hope your son is okay now flowers

If I were in your situation I would be contacting the police, I wouldn't allow her to get away with what she has done, I would not speak to or have any contact with her again, and seen as her parents and extended family want to play happy families and brush under the carpet what she did, I wouldn't speak to them again either.

Charliebr0wn Sat 19-Nov-16 13:50:27

Thank you, I will try getting in touch with the nspcc. Social services didn't even have the decency to get back in touch after they confronted my neice etc.

noego Sat 19-Nov-16 13:52:02

She needs help and quickly.

mrstomriddle Sat 19-Nov-16 13:54:01

Agree with noego. And I'm amazed that social services don't seem interested in abuse. I would be ringing every day to speak to someone to get support and to get to the bottom of what happened and why she did it.

OP it must be really traumatic for you and I hope that you get some help soon. If it was me, I'd keep ringing social services and I'd speak to the police again and NSPCC too

YouWereAlwaysPerfect Sat 19-Nov-16 13:54:27

Charliebr0wn Oh God OP sad I thought that she has hit him or something similar, what you have said she done would have never crossed my mind, it's sexual abuse.

Some children who have been abused themselves do generally go on to abuse others.

It was reported. It is on her recorded

^ So did the police arrest her? Surely they haven't let her off with a caution?

GrabtharsHammer Sat 19-Nov-16 13:55:24

It seems a bit of a leap to abuse from what you've posted. I'm assuming there was more to it?

The situation you describe sounds more like she wanted to play at being a mum and changing the baby. Dog hair from the nappy being on the carpet?

I apologise if I've got the wrong end of the stick.

blueskyinmarch Sat 19-Nov-16 14:00:13

As a former CP social worker I would say that unless there's much more to this than you have said, police and social work will be unable to prove anything untoward happened. Your DS isn't old enough to to give an account of what, if anything, happened and I am assuming your niece denied doing anything? The police won't arrest someone unless they have proof that something actually happened.

EweAreHere Sat 19-Nov-16 14:05:03

What have the police actually done?

What has SS actually done?

And no way would she be allowed near my children again. And I would tell any family member who complained about my attitude towards her to F Off real quickly.

SlottedSpoon Sat 19-Nov-16 14:05:29

she needs help and quickly

I sincerely hope you would have said exactly the same thing if she had been a 15 year old boy.

Would you? Honestly? I really do hope so.

Floggingmolly Sat 19-Nov-16 14:05:30

The "proof" is that his nappy was on the wrong way? confused. Maybe she changed him? Was he left in her care, or how was she alone with him?

TaliDiNozzo Sat 19-Nov-16 14:07:37

I imagine there probably is a lot more to this than the description the OP has given, but she shouldn't feel that she has to explain this.

VestalVirgin Sat 19-Nov-16 14:09:00

Grabthars, if she was younger, I would agree that that's possible, but do 15 year olds really play at being a mum?

It could be something less bad than OP thinks, but it definitely sounds very suspicious, especially considering the girl's problematic behaviour in other areas.

blueskyinmarch Sat 19-Nov-16 14:14:00

A nappy on back to front is not proof of abuse. As hard as it is to accept you are unlikely to know of anything untoward has actually happened at all. My advice would be to ensure your DS could never be alone with your niece in the future.

Maudlinmaud Sat 19-Nov-16 14:14:10

I would certainly cut all contact with your niece. If you have proof this happened then I would feel there was no way back to a normal relationship.

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