Move to the other side of the world or not?

(24 Posts)
noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:02:33

In brief, DH has prospect of job in Australia. In a total dilemma. I really want to go but I feel sad and guilty that I would miss my parents mostly. I would have to give up a pretty good job and I have a secondary aged child that would be totally uprooted from friendships although not too worried academically as only year 7. However, life here not particularly amazing... but dull really! WWYD?

IWillTalkToYouLater Mon 03-Oct-16 20:08:15

What does your DC think? Would it be a permanent job? How much would it bother you if your DC moved back to the UK as soon as they were old enough (happened with a school friend of mine).

I wouldn't do it, because I would always want to stay more than I'd want to go. But that's me. It does sound like a lovely adventure and change of scene, and who knows, it might be the best thing you ever do. I wish you luck weighing up what is best for your family. <not really helpful!>

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:14:16

Thanks for your reply! DC doesn't want to go because of friends but has also asked questions that hint they are intrigued by the idea, makes me think they would be ok in long run maybe... it is a permanent job and if we went it would make sense to stay long enough to get dual citizenship for both us and children.

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:15:09

Also I feel equally torn to want to go and want to stay!

ImperialBlether Mon 03-Oct-16 20:17:56

How old are your parents? Are there other siblings?

Haggisfish Mon 03-Oct-16 20:18:53

I wouldn't but that's because I really love my friends and family and need to see them regularly to keep me sane!

Bagina Mon 03-Oct-16 20:20:59

Where abouts?

IWillTalkToYouLater Mon 03-Oct-16 20:22:30

It does sound like a tough one, it's one thing when it's just an idea, but when there is a real possibility I imagine it gets a bit more, well, real!

Would you have to completely sell up and be totally financially tied, or would you be able to reverse it in a few years without too much pain to the ££ if it is not what you expected or goes totally tits up?

Your DC can't totally make the decision for you, but at the same time and at that age, I would definitely take his views into consideration and make sure he knows that's the case.

I feel my pearls of wisdom are very lacking here grin. I might be dreaming, but isn't there an ex-pats/overseas topic somewhere? Good luck! flowers

IWillTalkToYouLater Mon 03-Oct-16 20:24:09

Also, are your parents in the position (health/wealth? to visit you? In all honesty if it were me, I would take their view/circumstances into consideration too. But I'm very close with my parents, so again, that's me.

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:24:17

I don't see my friends much as they are scattered about the country or have their own busy lives. My parents are early 70's, I have siblings that live much closer to them than I do.

CalleighDoodle Mon 03-Oct-16 20:25:04

Id go.

cariboo Mon 03-Oct-16 20:26:15

IMO, life is an adventure. What's the point of staying with the "known" and familiar, never doing anything different or new? My stepdad's job moved us all over the world when I was a child; a wonderful experience for us all. It's tough, but rewarding.

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:29:58

My parents are all for going as they are disillusioned with this country! They said they probably would go if they were us. Have always been very supportive of anything I do and I love them to bits...They would come and visit but might not be financially viable. We could either rent our house here out or sell up - not sure we have thought that far yet - I think we would view it as long term temporary rather than permanent but then we have the potential for children getting settled and not wanting to come back then too! We have spoken to DC as we want them to know it is a hard decision and we are taking their views on board. I honestly swing back and forth every other minute!!

toffeeboffin Mon 03-Oct-16 20:33:27

Where in Australia, OP?

Lots of difference between Adélaïde and Sydney....

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:34:47

Yes I moved about a lot as a child too and the only downsides really were not having a close relationship with my grandparents until I was an adult and not really having any lifelong friends. I think the children would adapt eventually but I feel very guilty about unsettling them. Also guilty for not wanting to stay

HerRoyalNotness Mon 03-Oct-16 20:35:34

Yes,
Where in Australia would make a difference for me.

I would keep the house for a year or so, to ensure you didn't want to come back.

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:35:49

Probably Melbourne or Victoria - on the coast.

weasle Mon 03-Oct-16 20:44:29

Melbourne is wonderful. Less commercial, more outdoor than here. Lots of culture, beaches , wineries.
We came close to staying there for good but not quite at the right stage for us. And very far from aging parents. But if offered again today I'd be very tempted even though our parents are even older. It is a lovely place.

Bagina Mon 03-Oct-16 20:48:17

Have you been to Australia? Melbourne?

toffeeboffin Mon 03-Oct-16 20:50:40

Lived in Melbourne for a year - I would move there permanently if I could.

IMHO it's the best Aussie city - has everything. The weather is good, near beaches, awesome cafe culture, parks, green space, museums, affordable etc etc.

Do it OP.

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 20:59:01

I have been to Australia a lot and have friends from my childhood there. It feels like home because when I was a child we lived near Australia but it is so very far away from here!

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 21:23:11

Thanks for your responses - hearing how lovely Melbourne is makes me so excited at the prospect but then I sway to thinking how sad we will all be to say goodbye... to how amazing it will be for my boys to live a more outdoor lifestyle to fear of the unknown to sod it to oh fuck! How will we ever make a decision?!

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 21:23:46

Thanks for your responses - hearing how lovely Melbourne is makes me so excited at the prospect but then I sway to thinking how sad we will all be to say goodbye... to how amazing it will be for my boys to live a more outdoor lifestyle to fear of the unknown to sod it to oh fuck! How will we ever make a decision?!

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Oct-16 21:24:29

Not sure why that posted twice sorry!!

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