DS (11) Friend bullying him

(5 Posts)
Verbena37 Sat 17-Sep-16 01:18:21

DS has just joined yr7 and the boy who mutually befriended him towards end of yr 6, now calls on him to walk to school and back and is in most of his lessons it seems.

However, this boy has always been a bit mean on occasion (stabbing DS with a compass, not sticking up for DS if someone is being mean to him etc) yet in the past two weeks of the new term, DS is really upset at how 'friend' is behaving.

He is alienating him from his only other friends....especially at lunch and break times.....saying "oh no, it's DS, you can't sit here." Etc. Then the other friends who are perhaps just trying not to be bullied themselves, go along with him.

DS sat totally alone at lunch time to eat today and finds it hard finding his old primary school friends as the school is jam packed with 1200 students, all queuing at break in the canteen and courtyard.

The other boy says rude things about me, when I've only ever been kind to him and I know his mum.....not close friends but we chat on FB etc.

DS plays on his Xbox with other boy and recently, the boy has been blowing up his structures on minecraft and stealing diamonds etc.....all to upset DS and tease him.

DS doesn't want to walk with him anymore and DH says I've got to explain that to his mum!!
WWYD?
How do I explain it without ruining my acquaintance with her?
DS doesn't want to be mean to the boy....he just wants his friends back and for everybody to get on.

lordStrange Sat 17-Sep-16 01:32:38

Well to start stabbing someone with a compass isn't a 'bit mean' it's dangerous and horrible.

I would tell the friend's Mum that DS won't be be walking with him until he can behave respectfully towards him. How about:

Hi XXX, DS has mentioned some issues with <name> lately so for now can you let <name> know that my DS wishes to go to school unaccompanied for now? I hope you can get to the bottom of this! Cheers Verbena

Verbena37 Sat 17-Sep-16 01:41:55

Thank you....that's a great way of putting it.
I shall use that.
I know the compass thing was dangerous....I was being polite grin.
Today, another child in class drew an ugly giant with a massive penis and the child said "oh look, it's XXX's mum".
DS was devastated. I obviously wasn't offended but it's that kind of comment that tbh, I'd expect more from yr 7 girls than boys.
It's really odd that boys of that age are being so horrible.

PerspicaciaTick Sat 17-Sep-16 02:01:41

My DD had a similar situation when she started Y7. She kept a log of what was happening over two or three days, then I emailed her form tutor who had raised the issue with the head of year and dealt with it within 48 hours (one of the days was an INSET day). I think being pulled up her actions and being told that however she had behaved before it wasn't going to be tolerated in the new school, nipped the other girl's behaviour in the bud.

I would just say that he won't be walking for the next few days - no explanation - until you have raised it with the school.

Verbena37 Sat 17-Sep-16 08:13:31

That's another good idea.....saying about not walking for a while rather than never.
DS has high functioning autism and doesn't tend to want to speak up for himself. We try and give him little tips and ideas as to how to improve things but he just he doesn't have the necessary social skills to be effective.

It's so sad that he isn't hanging around with all his other good friends and sad they haven't tried to find him. They don't know he has autism because he doesn't want anyone to know but regardless of that, this boy is being horrible anyway.

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