Picking a school

(24 Posts)
BooBoopBeep Wed 31-Aug-16 15:23:22

Hi, I'm looking for advice on how to pick a school and a little AIBU (but not brave enough for that).

There are 4 schools I'm interested in sending my DD to.

1. Is the primary I went to as a child, this is the one I want her to go to.
Pro - fantastic teachers, small classes, caring environment.
Con - it's 5 miles away, unlikely to get in due to it being 5 miles away. (Moving closer isn't an option). DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

2. Is one that a friends daughter has gone to
Pro - decent sized classes, only 1.3miles away, has a 'outstanding' from ofsted.
Con - I just don't like the feel of the place, parking is a nightmare and at least once a year a kid is run over (the road that runs along side it is horrific. DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

3. Is a lovely school near a park
Pro - it's near a park, it's rated "good" across the board from ofsted, the uniform is adorable, 1.9 miles away.
Con - bigger class sizes. DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

4. Is next door. Literally.
Pro - "outstanding" across the board from ofsted. It's literally 15 seconds walk (I can see the entrance from my front door). DM could pick up if I got stuck at work (likely), good sized classes.
Con - DP doesn't want her to go because there is a higher Asian to English ratio (we argue about this a lot).

DP will not be dropping off/ picking up, ever. It will be me doing it all inc working full time (aiming to be back full time by the time DD is in school a month).

Long post I know but I'm unsure what to do for the best. It will cause arguments with DP if I put school number 4 down as a choice.

Number 4 is ideal, number 1 is 2nd on the list for me, then number 3.

What would you do?

Also posted in primary education..
Thanks for reading winebrew

BooBoopBeep Wed 31-Aug-16 15:27:02

1,3 and 4 I meant to say

Elisheva Wed 31-Aug-16 15:28:45

Whereabouts do you live? Where I am there is no chance dc would get into a school over half a mile away so that would make the decision for me.
Have you visited any of them? What do you want from a school?

Gobbolinothewitchscat Wed 31-Aug-16 15:28:49

I don't pander to racists - particularly ones who don't do school pick ups/drop offs - so I'd pick number 4

RitaConnors Wed 31-Aug-16 15:32:24

4 is the obvious choice for numerous reasons. 1 is the worst choice.

Is your dp worried that your dd will be left behind academically as statically dc from Asian backgrounds thrive educationally? I'd try to allay his fears of I were you. It's probably too soon to write his own child off.

Totallyspies17 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:36:34

4 blatantly sounds like the best option.
Your dp sounds like an idiot!

BittyWanter Wed 31-Aug-16 15:41:06

You will be offered 4 no matter where you apply. You'd only be offered another school if the other schools aren't full.

My second choice would be 2.

BittyWanter Wed 31-Aug-16 15:43:55

And if you meet their criteria /admit race guidelines etc

Wheresthattomoibabber Wed 31-Aug-16 16:30:30

1 is not an option though, is it? Because as you say unlikely to get in.

Wheresthattomoibabber Wed 31-Aug-16 16:31:05

And if you don't like the feel of 2 then that's a no.

Wheresthattomoibabber Wed 31-Aug-16 16:32:53

Would you get in to 3? Have you checked what the distances were last year? Because anything over half a mile would mean you wouldn't get in in my area !

olafisking Wed 31-Aug-16 16:38:20

You will be offered 4 no matter where you apply. You'd only be offered another school if the other schools aren't full

This isn't true BittyWanter. You make however many choices your LA allows and will be offered one of those unless the child doesn't get high enough on the list on any, in which case you will be offered the nearest school with places available. It doesn't sound like school 4 would be undersubscribed so would not be offered unless listed.

OP, for what it's worth I would choose school 4. So much to be said for a primary school that you can walk to especially if it widens your options for pickup.

BittyWanter Wed 31-Aug-16 16:50:57

Olaf if the op lists schools 1,2 and 3 to the LA and the DC doesn't get a place because the op isn't in the catchment area, no siblings at the school and it's oversubscribed etc then the LA do not have give the op's dd a place at school 1,2 or 3.

It's usual for a place to be offered at the nearest school to the op by distance-which is school 4.

However, if there are places then certainly the op's dd may get in. But with at least three primaries in less than two miles it sounds like it's a heavily populated area. Again-I could be wrong.

Ask your DH to go to the schools with you op for a visit and speak to them about previous years admissions.

olafisking Wed 31-Aug-16 17:08:31

I think you've misunderstood my point. If the LA allow 3 choices and OP lists 1, 2 and 3 on the form. Each has 30 places (say). Each offers all 30 and the furthest offers in each case are much closer than OP, child is therefore not offered any listed school. The LA offers the nearest school with places ONLY after all schools have made their offers to all pupils who listed them. So school 4 would never be offered as it likely has more applications than places available. Outstanding schools generally do! OP would instead be offered hypothetical school 5, which could be any distance away. In OP's situation I would always put the nearest school high on the list but with a popular outstanding school being second on your list does not even guarantee a place, as it could fill with those who listed it first.

Middleoftheroad Wed 31-Aug-16 17:12:57

No 4 sounds good..As the person who works and does all drop offs (which i have to drive to, even for our nearest school) I would relish a school we could work too. It's become wearing after 7 years.....

Middleoftheroad Wed 31-Aug-16 17:15:25

I mean walk to!

BittyWanter Wed 31-Aug-16 17:16:53

Yes I agree with you Olaf.

You put it better than me.

My main point to the op is that any school that she lists on the application, if it further away than the closest school to her home (particularly outstanding schools) get full very quick and it would be better to list school 4 on the application. (And give your DH a lesson on racism)

PotteringAlong Wed 31-Aug-16 17:17:36

4. Without a shadow of a doubt. And your DP needs to get a grip.

RhinestoneCowgirl Wed 31-Aug-16 17:19:28

You have an 'outstanding' school on your doorstep, there's no contest, it has to be number 4.

Living within walking distance of primary school has lots of benefits, especially when DC are older and want to have the independence of walking by themselves.

Fadingmemory Wed 31-Aug-16 17:34:19

Other considerations - apart from Ofsted, what is the atmosphere you pick up in the school? Is the head around or shut up in the office? Does he/she know the pupils individually? Do the children appear lively and interested yet behaving well when walking around the school? How are children with SENs or who have challenging behaviour supported/

Is there interesting work on the walls that is changed regularly (look for dust, curling edges, fading colours)? Is the work displayed from a cross section of all pupils, not just the most able? There seems to be a diversity issue with your DP and no 4 - this seems the best option but would that choice create discord and could you deal with that? (Not supportive of those views about Asian pupils and do notice that there may be little input from your DP in terms of dropping off and picking up. Would you have sole responsibility for attending parent evenings, performances etc?

Good luck,with your choice!

olafisking Wed 31-Aug-16 17:35:29

BittyWanter, I think we were talking at cross purposes. I agree it would be madness to list a school 5 miles away when there are equally good schools nearer as it's a waste of choice if you have no chance of getting in. School applications need to be based on likelihood of success as much as preference and therefore school 4 wins on all counts.

I'd speak to your DP about his specific reasons for objection. If it's that your child will be in a significant minority I can sort of understand - although in most schools someone has to be the minority, it depends how the school handles it. Anything else is racism.

MrsKCastle Wed 31-Aug-16 17:41:10

Do you actually have a choice? Have you found out the information from last year about the last category that was admitted and the distance within that category?

Of course it's different in different parts of the country but where I am, there would be no possibility of being offered a school over a mile away.

BooBoopBeep Wed 31-Aug-16 18:22:38

Personally I want her in school number 4. For so many reasons, in no particular order...

1. There's a high chance 30-40% of my work would be done from home so I could be just over the road if she ever needs me.

2. My mother and father live at the other side of the school (the school is in the middle). So if I'm not able to get home if they call up and she's sick or anything like that either of my parents could fetch her till I'm able to get home.

3. There are always activities going on outside (we see them frequently playing out and doing various fun things)

4. The PE teacher is loud, but gorgeous!

5. She has asked several times if she's going to that big school.

6. It's reported as outstanding

7. The uniform is so sweet.

8. Is a massive one, like I said, we are 15 seconds walk from the front door. I remember setting off to my primary school an hour (at least) before school started to get there on time. And had to get up at 6am every day!. DD would only have to get up at 8am and leave at 8:40am/8:45am

The only reason I'm even considering not applying is because DP is racist (and he is) and he doesn't want her spending all day every day with Asian/Pakistani children. If he says anything like that in front of her I tell him to stop. Fine to have your own views but don't speak shit about other people in front of a child - it's not on.

I don't give a shit, my only concerns in that regards to that is the primary language spoken in the school is English and she makes friends. She is quite out going and chatty.

Oh sod it. I think I know the 3 choices now.

Wheresthattomoibabber Wed 31-Aug-16 19:21:49

Rrason number 4 sounds perfectly valid to me!

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