Iv got a 6 month old boy... Iv not got the motherly love your supposed to feel for my son makes me feel guilty and a shit parent. When i look at him all i see is a baby that i have to babysit for next 18 years. Me and partner have also started falling out bad since the birth of our son we fight everyday, we have become aggressive towards each other on couple of occasions when our son wasn't with us. My house is mostly a mess. My partner does no house work instead he plays games on his computer. Iv in last 6 months pretty much fell out of love with him. I want to try work things out but its become constant bickering and demands of sex. He puts no effort it even when i ask and speaks to me like shit pardon my french.I want to run away and never come back Iv fantasised about this many times. I cant talk to no family as I dont have anyone really. I feel trapped. I love my son dont want people thinking i dont. Sorry for rant
OK, so you DO have motherly love - love - for your son, but it sounds as if you do not love your life as a mother. And not surprisingly, really, given some of the things you say.
OK, you love your baby, and would like for both of you to look forward to a happy life.
Have you and your DP talked about how life is now compared to how you thought it would be? Talk to him about your lives: suggest that each of you suggests 3 things that you could do to make the other's life better - i.e you suggest things you could do to help him be happier, he suggests 3 things he could do to make you happier.
If he will not and does not respect you, then you should seriously consider separating. Would that make you feel happier? less trapped?
Have you looked at any of the checklists for depression?
Suppose ou made a list and tackled your house, but by bit, and gave yourself a reward for getting it done?
Life with a new baby is HARD. And tiring. You are not a freak.
You might be living with one, though, and I don't mean your sweet baby.