Should I tell mum her 6yr old DD is shaping up to be ‘that girl?’

(65 Posts)
vandasma Fri 22-Apr-16 18:19:11

My DD has a few times mentioned that a girl in her class likes kissing boys and her nick name now is “KissyLilly” (not her real name).

I’ve seen her ‘in action’ at a few birthday parties, and noticed that her mum always laughs it off.

Earlier this week, I bump into Lily’s mum who tells me her dd is unhappy at school
and being bullied –naming the boys that my dd says Lily likes to take behind the trees! I get the feeling the boys are being nasty to her in class to cover up for whatever’s going on behind the trees. I’ve tried drawing the mum’s attention to the kissing stuff in a subtle way but she finds it cute and can’t seem to make the link with the"bullying,"

Worse, other girls are starting to draw away. My dd says she doesn’t invite her to play because, “Lily only knows yucky kissey games.” I am worried for this girl – would you speak to school / have another go with mum / steer clear and myob?

Pagwatch Fri 22-Apr-16 18:22:31

'that girl?'

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 22-Apr-16 18:23:35

Wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

Honestly. No good can come from that conversation.

GeorgeTheThird Fri 22-Apr-16 18:24:41

No. Nope. Definitely not.

Wolfiefan Fri 22-Apr-16 18:25:38

Um no. If your child tells you anything worrying perhaps mention it to the teacher.
And yes "that girl" WTF? confused

thatstoast Fri 22-Apr-16 18:26:29

Six years old.

LillyBugg Fri 22-Apr-16 18:26:34

I would tell the school. She's six, she should be able to play games other than 'yucky kissy games'. I think the safeguarding officer would be interested. Does no one else think this is a safeguarding issue?

Wolfiefan Fri 22-Apr-16 18:27:17

Lilly that's why I said if OP was concerned to mention it at school.

confusedandemployed Fri 22-Apr-16 18:28:06

Yep I'm with Lilly. Something not right there.

blueemerald Fri 22-Apr-16 18:28:37

Unless you really think something sexual is happening (remembering that this includes a wide range of things) I would steer clear. If you are concerned I would ask to speak to the school's CP lead and outline your concerns.

"That girl" is not a good phrase to use. She may be the victim of abuse.

AvaCrowder Fri 22-Apr-16 18:30:13

They sound like little children. What I would do is not let my dd call her kissylily and mind my own business, unless you think that she is being sexually abused, then I would contact the school.

RudeElf Fri 22-Apr-16 18:30:53

What girl?

Paperm0ver Fri 22-Apr-16 18:32:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pagwatch Fri 22-Apr-16 18:33:28

I would also regard a group of boys calling her names as bullying, not 'bullying'.

NoelHeadbands Fri 22-Apr-16 18:38:26

I'm trying to imagine the conversation where someone came to me and helpfully pointed out to me that my six year old daughter was shaping up to be 'that girl'

hmm

And on that basis, I'm going to say you should MYOB

BitchPeas Fri 22-Apr-16 18:39:09

Ffs. Tell the school and stop being judge, jury and executioner. You have no idea what's actually happening from a few sightings at birthday parties and the eye witness account of a 6 year old.

TheRealBarenziah Fri 22-Apr-16 18:40:19

Completely agree that this sounds like a potential safeguarding issue - young children do sometimes play "doctors and nurses", but if all the girl ever does is play "kissy games", that is inappropriate behaviour for her age group and I would be worrying about what might be happening to her outside of school. I would suggest you chat to her teacher and express your concerns. She certainly doesn't need censorious comments about being "that girl".

RudeElf Fri 22-Apr-16 18:41:43

I would like to know who "that girl" is.

lottielou7 Fri 22-Apr-16 18:47:52

I would be concerned that she is being abused - I think I would inform the school about it.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Fri 22-Apr-16 18:55:34

What do you mean by 'that girl'?

TitaniumSpider Fri 22-Apr-16 18:56:05

That girl ?! She's 6 FFS and if she's behaving inappropriately (and I think that she seems to be) then she needs support not labelling by somebody who has nothing better to do but judge a child. Talk to the teacher and explain your concerns. I would hope that they are already aware but don't assume that they are.

user7755 Fri 22-Apr-16 18:58:43

Talk to school and then don't get involved, also stop referring to her as shaping up to be 'that girl'

Lightbulbon Fri 22-Apr-16 18:59:33

The behaviour you have described is a red flag for her being a victim of sexual abuse.

You should tell the school.

She needs help not judgement.

IWantMyMumSheWouldBeProud Fri 22-Apr-16 19:01:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Fri 22-Apr-16 19:01:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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