Move or Stay?

(5 Posts)
PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Sun 17-Apr-16 10:43:14

Ten years ago we moved to the south east, away from our families and hometowns so that DH wouldn't have to commute to work. I lost my friends and my roots and started over.
We've had children and DH earns a decent wage, and now drives, so I'm thinking that now is the time to move back, not to where we came from, but somewhere nearer to our families. It would only be an hour's commute on the road, or half an hour on the train.
We rent so we could afford a much nicer property for far less than we're paying here (not London but nearby, so £££ rent), and we might be in a better position to save for a deposit.
But now we have children, I have built a really great network of friends here, probably the best friends I've had in my life, the sort of people I can see myself being friends with for the rest of our lives. We would only be a few towns over, but far enough away that I can see our friendships fizzling out. I'd have to start over again.
So:
Pros of moving
- cheaper rent, nicer property
- family support
- more possibility of buying a property

Pros of staying
- DH would be home from work sooner in the evenings
- already have friends and networks, routine of activities etc
- I really like my health visitor wink
- moving to a new town is hassle
- it's easier to get into London

I feel like it would be better for our family unit to move, but better for me to stay.

What would you do?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 17-Apr-16 10:47:20

If children are primary school age or younger, I'd move. Friends are easy to make through young dc in my experience.

Lilaclily Sun 17-Apr-16 10:53:14

How helpful would your family be ? Would they babysit wink
Are you close?
Where do dh family live?

After the baby group stage friends change to school run stage and as kids move on to teenage staget you'll rarely see them tbh unless you see them without kids already

But for me the commuting would be an important factor , would dh be OK with a longer commute ?
Do you work ? What would your working potential be if you moved or stayed in the future ?

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Sun 17-Apr-16 11:40:39

We'd be moving close to DH's family but my family would be near enough to visit. His DM in particular would probably be a great support were I to have another baby. Not school age yet.
I do see my friends socially without the children, and I also volunteer quite heavily with the NCT, which I enjoy.
I don't work at the moment, but I could find a job in my industry anywhere in the country, so that's not a factor.
DH would prefer not to commute on the train, but he feels okay about driving.
Oh it seems like six of one and half a dozen of another sad

Pollyputhtekettleon Thu 21-Apr-16 16:00:06

I'd stay I think. DHs time with the kids would be more important than any of the pros you have listed.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now