Ask my dad or not ask my dad WWYD?

(10 Posts)
Ilovenannyplum Tue 12-May-15 17:52:21

I'll try and keep this brief!

On Sunday went to the park with, DH, baby DS and 2 x DSS. We met my dad and his DSS (so my kind of half/step brother we'll just refer to him as DB for less confusion!)
My brother is a tiny bit older than DSS's but has very slight special needs so acts the same age as them.

Anyway, playing crazy golf together. DB starts really misbehaving and chucking the club around and falling over the golf course. My dad deals with it. All fine, we just carry on.

Fast forward to today, one DSS has told his teacher that my DB hit him in the head with the golf club (he has a lump) so DH's ex has contacted him to ask what happened and why didn't we do anything about it.
Now I didn't see anything and nor did DH. I don't think DSS would lie and I'm thinking perhaps it happened whilst he was having his tantrum. He's explained DSS didn't tell us, we didn't see it happen and he didn't say he was hurt.

Now, do I ask my dad about it or do I just leave it? I don't want to cause unnecessary trouble but I don't want him to get away with it if he did it purposely.
Obviously annoyed that DSS has been bumped on the head!

Ilovenannyplum Tue 12-May-15 18:30:51

Anyone?
pulls hopeful face!

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty Tue 12-May-15 18:34:51

Why would asking your dad about it cause a problem?

Ilovenannyplum Tue 12-May-15 18:57:05

Because I don't want to get my DB in trouble for something that was possibly an accident and that is 'in the past' iyswim. And my stepmum is very protective treats him like a baby so I think she might get a bit defensive

But

At the same time DSS's won't be keen on spending time with DB in the future and if I told my dad what happened now then it saves making excuses in the future as to why we can't meet up

I think I'm thinking too much about this now confused

JustHavinABreak Tue 12-May-15 21:18:36

If your Dad is part of a "blended" family too then he is likely to understand than you and your DH are kind of answerable to the your DSS's mother if something happens while he is with you. Just explain to your Dad that DSS's mum has asked you to follow it up and that it's best to get it sorted out so that she is never nervous about having her kids spending time with DB again. If it turns out that DB didn't do anything then you can always do the eye rolling sorry-I-had-to-ask-you-know-what-I'm-up-against bit.

ladygracie Tue 12-May-15 21:21:15

I would do exactly what Justhavin said. Excellent advice.

Ilovenannyplum Tue 12-May-15 23:08:52

Thank you, I'm definitely going to say something to him tomorrow.
If anything to make me feel less guilty.

JustHavinABreak Wed 13-May-15 20:33:53

Hi Nanny plum, was thinking about your situation today. How did you get on with your Dad? Hope you're ok xxx

Ilovenannyplum Wed 13-May-15 21:14:14

Thank you, that's very sweet smile

Well I told him, he said he'll speak to DB about it. I explained that I'm not trying to get him in trouble or be a 'grass' but im not happy that DSS got injured because he can't keep his temper under wraps.
He was fine about it, not awkward thankfully so if and when we meet up again, he should know to be more careful around my younger DSS. Hopefully anyway!

JustHavinABreak Wed 13-May-15 21:18:59

Well done you! Not easy at all but it sounds like it had to be done, and DSS will always know you have his back. He's a lucky boy flowers

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