My partners addicted to online porn and escorts

(5 Posts)
xsarahxmollysmumx Wed 22-Apr-15 14:53:22

Hi all!
I've been on here looking for advice in the past, I'm in a mess!
In October last year i found a lot of msgs and weird numbers on my oh phone... I realised soon enuf that it was numbers for escorts off the website adult work?? Wen he came home from work I was literally on the floor in pieces.. He was shocked I had seen the lot. Think he deletes his phone a lot and was prob gutted the day he leaves it at home he forgets to delete! Anyway we spent all day trying to sort this mess out, he swore on our daughters life he hadn't been anywhere near them it was just the fantasy he liked, but he'd called them to arrange it and txt them to see if they were available, I gave him another chance. It's not been easy.
We have been together 3yrs we have 2 children but he's only my dd real dad, who's 18 months old. I have put on weight since having dd, but he says that ain't an issue and I did believe him.
I have been treated bad in past relationships and I did actually trust him, and wanted to again since this..
We talked about fulfilling some of our fantasies and after what happened our sex life was better than ever, then it stopped and now it's none existent again. I know he's masturbating a lot as I do the washing and I can see for myself, I'm not proud of it sad he tells me he loves and he still wants us to be a family but last night I was alone with his phone in bed, I looked at the history and seen he had been looking at adult work again and watching webcams..my whole worlds fell apart again I feel like I can't breath, he knows there's something wrong with me but if I tell him what I've seen I think that'll be the end of us As there's no excuses this time.. Is it an addiction? Is there anything I can ask him to do? I'm gonna lose a lot if I leave him I just need some advice, I can't tell my family or friends he's done it again they'll not forgive him twice..please can any1 advise me what to do?

Thx x

MeowImaCatfish Sun 03-May-15 11:56:58

Get rid you deserve so much better! If he's been caught once and kept doing it then sorry to say it but he obviously places your relationship lower than watching randomers and prostitutes :/ tell him straight, no more chances, no more second guessing. good luck sarah xx flowers

ltk Sun 03-May-15 12:05:16

You cannot do anything to change his behaviour, nothing at all. So you can either live with the porn and prostitutes, or you leave him.
Please have an STD check if he was making appointments with prostitutes.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 03-May-15 12:07:16

Sorry but this is who he is a she's shown you he isn't going to change. Misery.

NightsOfGethsemane Sun 03-May-15 12:12:44

I'm gonna lose a lot if I leave

What would you lose? Really think about it. You'd be walking away from a man who doesn't respect you, or care about your feelings, who has put you at risk of STIs, who has lied and lied and lied to you.

If you left, what would you gain? Freedom from his deceit and his lies, a chance to rebuild your self respect, a chance to show your DDs that you will not tolerate this behaviour.

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