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stay or move ???

(10 Posts)
madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:06:57

We moved for dh's job a few years ago. Lovely big country house, kids in private school (company pay the fees) Most of my friends would give there right arm for my life. I am not really happy here. Have never really settled and want to return home. We would have to downsize and as company wouldn't be paying, no more private schooling either.
Should I just grin and bear it or insist on the move. I feel I'm being really selfish.
Am I ????

drLu Tue 01-Jul-14 19:11:32

Why aren't you happy? Is there anything you can do to make you feel more settled? Sorry you unhappy. Have you discussed with your husband?

madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:29:05

Haven't made many friends. Really lonely, dh's neck of the woods, not really my cup of tea. We have talked of nothing else for ages. He would move, although grudgingly I think.

CatKisser Tue 01-Jul-14 19:31:23

I'd try and stick it out, tbh. And I'd see what I could do to try and improve things a bit. Sounds like it's a good financial move. Could you compromise by agreeing to stay for X amount of years, or until you've saved X amount?

madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:31:28

Haven't made many friends. Really lonely, dh's neck of the woods, not really my cup of tea. We have talked of nothing else for ages. He would move, although grudgingly I think.

madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:31:41

Haven't made many friends. Really lonely, dh's neck of the woods, not really my cup of tea. We have talked of nothing else for ages. He would move, although grudgingly I think.

madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:35:32

Sorry, trigger happy finger

madchocolatemum48 Tue 01-Jul-14 19:36:44

Sorry, trigger happy finger

madchocolatemum48 Wed 02-Jul-14 10:08:56

Sorry, I kind of wrote and ran last night didn't I.
Even though we have a good life here, I still don't feel part of the community. It's very small and cliche and I don't make friends all that well at the best of times.
Every time I mention (family,friends) giving everything up to move they point out how lucky, fortunate I am. I do know all this but it doesn't make it any easier.
Dh and I have discussed staying until the children are a little further through school, finished school, or left home. To be honest he is not that fussed whether we stay,go, sooner, later. His job will not be affected, just the package we have now.
We would have to find about £30-40K for school fees( or a state school, which I have no problem with) and our cushy monthly outgoings would skyrocket.
If I only think of the kids and dh then yes we should stay, but if I add myself into the equation then I feel selfish.

PeppermintInfusion Tue 08-Jul-14 12:03:04

Could you join a club/find a hobby to meet new people? Maybe evening nearby town/city if this place is small and cliquey? Or how about a part time job/volunteering if you don't work?

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