Would you move abroad or not?

(9 Posts)
stuckonthefence Mon 16-Jun-14 21:47:08

I have namechanged for this as too many details could out me to real life friends.

My DH has been offered a job in Singapore/Hong Kong. It is a job he is very keen to take, offers him a good package including stock in the company, he feels it rounds out his CV as he lacks Asian experience and feels he needs it to secure his future.

We have two children aged 10 and 8. We moved to our current UK location (from elsewhere in the UK) two years ago. We have just settled in, the kids have made friends, I have made friends, they're at a great school, we have a good life.

We have no family to keep us in the UK other than DH's very elderly mother who is not expected to live more than a few months as she has a terminal disease.

If we take the job, we would move in a year's time (so most likely she will have sadly died by then, but it means we will have no family in this country).

The contract would be for five years minimum - so that in effect means we would stay there until our kids finished secondary school as we wouldn't move them again unless to send them back to the UK to board for sixth form.

I currently work for myself and could continue to do what I do from there but could also potentially find another job more easily there than where we currently live.

DH currently has a two hour commute to his office but is allowed to work from home some days so he doesn't do the commute daily. That said, he travels abroad a lot. He would be at home more often if we lived there.

I am not originally from the UK and have travelled extensively so am used to moving and starting over. But I am quite tired of doing it.

Here is where I am stuck: I know that taking this job opportunity gives us a great opportunity to experience life in a different country, giving our children a far more global outlook, it's quite exciting and we could have a fantastic lifestyle with plenty of travel around Asia, Australia and NZ where much of my family have emigrated to.

BUT I know what kind of education they will get here. There it is unknown. I want to give them the opportunity to learn about different cultures and get a global outlook but worry that moving them will make them feel like they aren't from anywhere (the way I feel - a bit rootless). I worry about the extreme heat and all the hard work of starting over/moving. I feel settled for the first time in ages. My eldest son does not want to move. He hates change and I think he will make our lives a living hell, even if in hindsight he realised that it was a good thing for him, he is not going to go happily. I'm not prepared to let him stay here and board. I'd miss him too much.

So what would you do?? Stay or go?

iwantgin Tue 17-Jun-14 19:44:24

I would go.

However I know nothing about that region. How about posting this in the Living Overseas section of MN?

flumperoo Tue 17-Jun-14 20:57:45

I've sent you a pm (just letting you know here because I often don't realise I've received a pm until a few weeks later smile)

joshandjamie Tue 17-Jun-14 21:18:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Droflove Sun 22-Jun-14 16:14:42

I've a lot of friends with kids in Hong Kong and Singapore as I was out there 8 yrs. The education is excellent and the benefits beyond the classroom even better. I wouldnt hesitate. It will be the making of the kids.

Expatmomma Sun 29-Jun-14 22:12:16

We are an expat family and My children attend an international school. I think the benefits for the children far outweigh the negatives. So would encourage you to go.

My children speak 4 languages and have friends from all around the world. I love watching them grow up in an international Environment.

Yes there is a higher turnover in expat communities as many of the military kids and ones with parents in the diplomatic corps move every 24 months.

But this means my kids have friends now living all around the world. Plus with a more transient population the kids
Are used to welcoming new children into the class on a termly basis and so the integration process runs very smoothly.

UncleT Mon 21-Jul-14 23:54:14

Definitely go! Do it! See the world, enhance your financial security for life. What's not to like?

HayDayQueen Tue 22-Jul-14 22:59:06

Please bare in mind that if you are away for so long, your DC will be considered international students if they wish to study at a UK university, even if they are at boarding school in the UK before hand.

I personally wouldn't do it at this point in their lives. Earlier, yes, later when they have left home, yes. But not in the years leading up to and including GCSEs and A levels. (And I have uprooted, sold everything off and moved to the other side of the world).

FeministStar Thu 24-Jul-14 19:34:48

At their age I'd say go, once the oldest is at high school it's a bit late really.

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