About present for friend's newborn

(17 Posts)
PollyCazaletWannabe Sat 14-Jun-14 13:36:13

One of my friends has recently had a baby. We used to be close but aren't so much lately and so I haven't offered to visit yet- will wait until she asked.
However, I wanted to send something so I got a lovely little toy elephant delivered to her gouse from notonthehighstreet.com. I got it embroidered with the baby's name and date of birth.
According to my email, it was posted last Friday (not yesterday, the one before). However, I haven't heard anything yet from my friend.
I know she must be super busy with the newborn and am not expecting massive thank you card or anything, but would just appreciate a text- apart from anything else, I don't know whether it has even got there! Would you send a text in this situation? If so, what should I say?

PollyCazaletWannabe Sat 14-Jun-14 13:37:04

Delivered to her house, not gouse confused

MsBug Sat 14-Jun-14 13:40:10

I would text her and ask how she is and offer help with the baby but don't mention the present. We didn't thank people for baby presents till dd was months old blush

Hobby2014 Sat 14-Jun-14 13:41:47

Would she know who it's from? Was there a message with it? If it was sent straight from them to her she may not know who to thank?
If it's clear it's from you maybe text and just say something like just checking my gift got to you ok? Maybe add that you've ordered from that site before and had a few issues so just wanted to make sure? And finish off something about hope she's enjoying motherhood and is doing ok?
I dunno, that's my advice anyway! grin

PollyCazaletWannabe Sat 14-Jun-14 13:41:53

Thanks Ms Bug but wouldn't that come across a bit strangely? It might seem passive aggressive?

PollyCazaletWannabe Sat 14-Jun-14 13:42:42

Hobby thank you, there was a card with it saying who it was from.

mrssmith79 Sat 14-Jun-14 13:43:23

Maybe she's thinking along your lines too and there's crossed wires? She may be thinking 'I haven't heard from Polly since I had baby, it's been over a week - I'm sure she'll be in touch soon to see how we are and I can thank her for the lovely gift'.

Just send a nice congratulations text asking how it's all going and take it from there.

PollyCazaletWannabe Sat 14-Jun-14 13:44:32

Oh no, I did text to say congrats and also sent a card! I just meant we're not such close friends that I could ask to visit baby until asked.

We were inundated with presents when the dts were born. Their arrival was a tad unusualm but I literally had things nt from people I'd never met, including some amazingly thoughtful/generous gifs.
We wanted to thank people properly, so ended up doing nice cards with a photo but it took quite a while until we got round to it. My very best friend took 4 months to send her thank you for my god dayghter's gift grin. I wuld cut a huge amount of slack on this one!

Droflove Sun 22-Jun-14 16:26:36

After my baby's arrival I was quite unwell and confused and stressed about it all for the first 6 weeks. Certainly the first 3 weeks were manic and I could barely keep track of what was going on with all the flowers and gifts pouring in every day. I even called my sister in floods because of too many flowers and nowhere to put them. Because of this I never expect a thank you for baby gifts. I'm just happy to know something arrived and would hopefully be appreciated regardless of a thank you or not. I know it's best manners but it can be a terribly stressful time and I did my best to write a note of who sent what but it was very hard.

Madrigals Sun 22-Jun-14 16:40:12

I was exactly like you op - bf had a baby and I sent a really cute personal gift I had put a lot of thought into. No thank you at all. I was a bit sad.

Then 5 years later I had a baby and totally understood. I was exhausted and couldn't even leave the house for over two weeks. Eating and sleeping were major achievements and thank you texts happened months later for all the lovely gifts.

I would put it down to the new baby blur and wait to hear.

MsBug Sun 22-Jun-14 20:23:33

Have you heard from her yet, op?

It just took me until DS was 9 weeks to write and send my thank yous. I ended up opening things at 11 pm, meaning to text and then just being so overwhelmed the next day. I am sure it was delivered, and I am sure it was appreciated and she will thank you when her head is less likely to explode.

Chloe01mum Sun 22-Jun-14 20:32:38

Instead of a text to ask if she had received it could you not text saying you "hope everything is ok and just to
let you know I have ordered something for baby which should be there soon. Just letting you know as I
can't remember/don't know if I filled the gift card bit in right"

That way it does not look like a PA attempt to get a thank you.

evelynj Sun 22-Jun-14 21:09:36

Forget about getting a thanks, it's a hard time & it may have slipped her mind. Wait til you see her to ask if she liked it & just text now to say hope you're coping ok & that you're there if she need any help. Babies can be stressful & messages of support from friends is much more appreciated than a toy, (although personalised things are lovely).

Good luck smile

evelynj Sun 22-Jun-14 21:13:03

It took us ages too to do thank yous and my bloomin mother went on about it since baby was a week old, that was really annoying. I think a 2 month old is when you start to get organised. How old is the baby now? If she's breastfeeding it can be hard to get 5 mins to go to the toilet let alone send 20 different texts or phone calls.

BIWI Sun 22-Jun-14 21:15:40

I think you're being massively ambitious expecting a thank you at this stage. If you have children yourself, just think back to what it was like at the newborn stage. You don't get more than 5 minutes to yourself to even go to the loo or drink a whole cup of tea/coffee, never mind consider social niceties.

Have a bit more consideration for your friend!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now