Had a falling out (which had been brewing for 4.5 years, and came to a head on the afternoon I received schools admissions rejections, job application refusal and had lots of work stress and raging menopausal pmt) with mil during her last visit to us. Now I don't want to face her even though a long planned visit (which ds has been looking forward to for ages) is approaching. The argument itself was seemingly trivial (her calling me by the wrong name repeatedly even after being asked, then told several times not to - but as I say this has been going on for 4.5 years during which I have tried to laugh it off). Am now, still so cross about it, several weeks later that the thought of seeing pil is toe curling. I have had no contact with them since the incident. Things have always been quite strained but now I don't know how to move on?
Was the wrong-name-calling deliberately done to wind you up, or is she just a forgetful old lady? Did it stop at the name thing or were 4.5 years' worth of issues dragged up?
If you have to see them, my only suggestion is to forget it ever happened. There was no row, it's lovely to see them again and isn't the weather lovely? That's probably the best way to get the anger to fade.
Thanks for the advice. I think she just doesn't like it so refuses to remember. Nothing else was mentioned just the name thing, but all my past resentments are now festering and bubbling up with no outlet save poor dh who is taking the flack.
this may sound childish but i would deliberately call her by the wrong name in return if she carries on (preferably something she really dislikes/hates)....sometimes it's cathartic to reflect the passive aggressiveness back