Getting irritated with my friend.

(3 Posts)
Atbeckandcall Fri 09-May-14 15:13:02

Hello,

I'm going to say sorry now, this could be a long one and may end up drip feeding too. It will frustratingly end up being dis jointed to as there is just so much going on. And this is probably going to turn into a rant.
Bear with bear with.

Anyway, I'm MOH for my friend's wedding which is in 5 weeks. A couple of months ago her granny passed away (not very old granny, had an illness for about 1 year. Although they knew it would happen, they were not expecting such a sudden departure).

I called friend today to ask if her and dp were coming over and are they eating with us or not and what time etc. We normally do this on.a Friday although for the past few weeks it's not really happened. She said yes, just her as her dp is working on the house. I feel she could have said this to me last night when I spoke to her.
I'm also supposed to be doing her make up for her wedding and trying to get her to commit to a time some can do it. She's very non committal and so far not happened yet.
I'm now organising the hen do (a different friend was as they really wanted to, all fine. They aren't now and aren't coming to the hen do at all).
I spoke to her a few weeks ago, and her dm about what we're doing for it. She kept saying she wanted a surprise and she really didn't mind but it needs to be within x amount money wise. Very tight budget and she ended up poo pooing all mine and her dm's ideas. Anyway managed to bargain a deal etc and then she decides she doesn't want to go away after all and we're going to a zoo for the day and a meal in the evening instead.
She has said she wants everyone to wear a t-shirt in the day (there's 6 of us, bride, 4 bms and 1 friend). The friend was going to organise them but is now away and told me I need to do it. I asked the bride friend today if we could do sashes instead as it's now a bit close, she had a rant about how all the bridesmaids were twats (apparently except me) and SHE is the one who has paid for the dresses, hair, shoes etc (upon her own insistence).
I've have been there for her through all her shitty times with her dp's family, when she has fallen out with her dm, when she has wanted to bitch about work, be upset about one if her 100's animals that is ill. I went to her granny's funeral and helped on the day.
All the whole I've had my own shite happen and she never asks, if I try to moan, she flips it, yeah well it's like when xyz happened but much worse.
My little dd is currently undergoing investigations at the hospital, me and DH have just started up a new business this week, my own granny is being referred for a brain scan (found out today before I spoke to said friend), my grandpa hasn't been well for a longtime, dh's mother is still recovering from chemo, and does she consider any of it or ask, no.
I feel like telling her to stick her fucking tacky t-shirts up her arse.

That does feel better, but WWYD?

This really is the tip of the iceberg btw. Sorry and ta!smile

birdsflying Fri 09-May-14 15:35:23

I think it would be silly to let the tensions of a wedding disrupt your friendship. Yes there seems to be a lot of pressure put on you to organise things and listen to her moan and rant however we all have things going on in our lives and I think maybe you should just get the wedding out of the way silently without moaning about it and then perhaps talk to her afterwards and tell her that a friendship works both ways... She has to be willing to listen to you when you need her as you have done for her.

I think sometimes we get wrapped up in our parental lives and forget to give the attention we need to friends. You sound like a really wonderful friend but honestly... Put the stress to one side for the time being, help organise her big day and make it special smile There also sounds like there is tension from the Brides friend- Maybe she is wondering why she is not a bridesmaid herself... Don;t get tangled into bitching, it's probably the worst thing you could do.

This is what I would do anyways- Hope it helps

Atbeckandcall Fri 09-May-14 17:59:19

Hi Birds,

Thanks for replying. You're right, and I wouldn't dream of saying anything now. Thanks xxx

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