Close friend has MC after having accident - help me to be a great friend!

(4 Posts)
Blueuggboots Wed 19-Feb-14 08:30:42

Please help me so I can support her. What is the best thing someone did for you or said to you?
She's quite a driven competitive person and this is clearly going to hit her like a ton of bricks. (Not that it wouldn't do that anyway IYSWIM!)
I don't want to hassle her by texting all the time but I want her to know she's not got to deal with it on her own.
Any suggestions gratefully received.
Clearly, I'm not going to be insensitive and suggest she can try again etc etc.....

Vatta Wed 19-Feb-14 08:50:44

There's a good leaflet on the miscarriage association website, aimed at friends and family.

The people I found helpful were the ones who just let me be sad - they asked questions about the baby, about how I was, how my DH was, ie they treated it like a normal bereavement.

Also bear in mind that physically there's a massive blow to the body, I was exhausted and very hormonal for a few months.

You're right not to say anything about trying again. I had so many comments from people that we could try again, at least I knew my dh and I could conceive, I already had the maternity clothes so would be ready for next time etc etc. it's like they wanted to cheer me up, sort of "look at the bright side", but it was the saddest period of my life and it just made me feel like they didn't understand or care.

mameulah Mon 24-Feb-14 22:32:35

Don't say 'it is really common'.

Don't say 'it is probably for the best.'

Be there and listen.

Organise to meet her out and about. I found that if I had at least one appointment each day it meant that I HAD to get dressed and get up and do whatever it was. It got me through the day.

You sound lovely and very thoughtful.

Blueuggboots Tue 25-Feb-14 01:50:12

Popped and had a quick cuppa with her on Thursday.
She said she'd like to go out so we're taking her out on Wednesday (she has mobility issues at present due to accident so can't drive).

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now