Forcing friendship?

(4 Posts)
laylac Mon 20-Jan-14 13:25:06

Advice please. A mum at school keeps inviting my child to her house to play with her child. My child has been a couple of times but didnt enjoy it and doesnt want to go back. Do i keep making excuses and hope she ll stop asking or should i iust tell her the truth?

Nevercan Tue 21-Jan-14 17:31:42

How old are they?

deelite72 Fri 07-Feb-14 11:47:03

That's a hard one. I had this for years with my now 12 year old. When my son was between the ages of 5-7 this mother just kept on forcing a friendship between our totally incompatible kids. I'd given the friendship a chance and frankly, I couldn't stand her kid. He was just way too rough. And my kid didn't like him. Why force a friendship just to make some silly playground parent happy? Kids need to form their own friendships without parents promoting who they ought to play with. Ugh, I find this whole aspect of primary school so stressful. It gets so political, doesn't it? here's the deal, by telling her the truth, you risk hurting her feelings and I don't think it's worth the backlash that may come from that. I dealt with my problem (similar to yours) all those years ago in an honest manner and I ended up bullied and gossiped about by this mother. It was awful.
Is there any way you can give her some space? Because by chatting on the playground, this will continue to foster her hope that your kids will bond and skip merrily over rainbows into "BFF play date land", week after week after week. I'd just say, "We don't do after school play dates at the moment. Our days are just too full." Our school was full of parents wanting sleep overs. They should call them "Awake All night overs". I quickly shut that one down with, "We don't do sleepovers". Sometimes, you just have to draw a line in the sand. And don't worry, your child plays with these kids every day at school. It's not like you're depriving her of any social interaction if you say 'No' to play dates, especially with a kid they don't really want to be around. Good luck.

Popplecake Fri 07-Feb-14 17:06:30

I'd politely say that your child is really busy with after-school clubs and acivities at the moment but you'll let her know when the schedule eases up. Hopefully will stop her asking.

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