Advice re teaching DH about child safety

(7 Posts)
Savingbuttons Fri 17-Jan-14 20:39:38

Just looking for some advice on what to do about my DH and his attitude towards child safety. This evening he had DD1 (5 months) in a forward facing sling and made a cup of tea while she was in the sling. I told him this was not safe to have her so close to the kettle of boiling water while he was pouring and he replied that you would need to pour a whole cup of boiling water on DD for her to get burnt. I have previously worked in a & e so know first hand how easily children can get scalded but he would not listen and insisted there was no risk. Tried showing him ROSPA info but he would not look. Also a few weeks ago found him lighting matches and showing them to DD. He works full time so would struggle to take him to see health visitor to discuss child safety. WWYD?

NatashaBee Fri 17-Jan-14 20:50:56

Well, I certainly wouldn't be leaving him on his own with a child. There was a post on here a couple of weeks ago about a child who got scalded by boiling water when their grandmother was looking after them. A few posters said they did use the kettle with a baby in their arms, although I personally wouldn't. The bigger issue is that he refuses to discuss it with you or listen to you when you ask him not to.

NatashaBee Fri 17-Jan-14 23:45:27

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1969607-5-month-old-scalded-by-boiling-water-please-help

I would also show him the thread above.

Ragusa Sat 18-Jan-14 23:03:58

The boiling kettle thing I would say is definitely a no-no and he just sounds like he has no idea about burns and their potential severity. I would just keep showing him links.

The matches thing -meh, not so much of an issue IMO. At 5 months she's not going to be trying it for herself and by the time she's dextrous enough to do it she won't remember his methods of entertaining her when she was wee. Plus, you can ensure that matches are always out of reach - he'd do that, right?!

There are some child first-aid courses you could go on together. Some orgs will come and do them in your house if you can get, say, 6 friends to attend too. It'd cost, though.

Zatch Sun 16-Feb-14 04:33:29

I'm struggling with the same dilemma. DP works away 26 days and has 9 straight at home. He takes over the night routine when home as ds loves bath time with his dad.
Ds is only just 12 months though but is the size of a well built 2yr old and is often mistaken for being older and more able than he really is, including DP.
During bath time I heard DP state to ds 'I'm just going to get a tissue ill be right back'. I immediately went shock and brought said tissue into bathroom. Getting him to understand that ds is never to be unsupervised around water was painful. Due to his assumption that 'It'd only have been for 3 seconds' and 'I've first aid training'.
Leaving him alone with ds for an extended period makes me anxious. It's only through ignorance that anything could go wrong ( dp is very much pfb when anyone else has contact with ds) but he's just too casual for my liking hmm

mathanxiety Sun 16-Feb-14 05:57:00

He can never be left with the baby until he completely changes his mind and accepts you are right. Perhaps this is his intention here?

It is a really big issue that he won't listen to you and won't discuss it. He is challenging you in some sort of power game he has set up. The result will be either he gets off without having to do any baby care or he gets to shut you up and continue to risk the baby's safety. The game has high stakes - he is willing to risk the baby to prove to you that he knows more than you about safety.

You need to call Relate and set up an appointment at the earliest possible opportunity. This is a really big thing both in your relationship and from the pov of health and safety. Please don't dismiss it.

mathanxiety Sun 16-Feb-14 06:04:08

After the dust settles following the newborn period, a mother often seems to be gaining in confidence and strength. Often the baby seems to have a special rapport with her, especially if she is doing most of the baby care. Frequently she has gained a new status in her family and among her friends and the couple's social circle. This is threatening to some men, and they seek out ways to undermine that.

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