Dads having an affair

(8 Posts)
Bobfish Sun 12-Jan-14 22:39:59

Hoping for some other perspective here......will try to make a long story as short as I can!

4 years ago my stepbrother was murdered, body never found, but murderer found, trial held, convicted....I supported my dad and step mother through this, we were going to move away, didn't as timing bad. Took a lot of time off work, mostly unpaid. But it is what family do for each other.

I had a baby by c-section in June, my first. We were informed he had a problem with his heart and needed further tests, when my son was 1 week old sad and step mum told us they are moving hundreds of miles away.....I got upset and asked my dad not to come in to us the next night as I was upset, still on drugs, hormonal, poorly 1 week old baby trying to breastfeed. Haven't seen or heard from them since (6 months ago) they have not asked about my sons health (thankfully he's fine)...I only found out that they had moved as they lived in the same road as baby clinic and I saw removal vans. So they left with no forwarding address and all I hear from family is how I stopped him seeing his grandson. I feel totally let down by the pair of them, we've been through a lot with them, supported them and then get kicked in the teeth, it broke my heart.

Now, the reason for my post......I have found out that my dad is having an affair with a woman at work, been going on over a year, so not just a fling.......should I tell my step mother somehow???

Sorry such a long post x

Sammie101 Sun 12-Jan-14 22:45:34

I wouldn't if I were you, what would you hope to get out of it? They both sound pretty awful to be honest, cutting contact with you for no apparent reason and showing absolutely no interest in your son. If your motivation for wanting to tell his wife is revenge I don't see it being very fulfilling and ending well.

Gennacy Mon 13-Jan-14 14:58:46

If you did tell his wife then it would look like you was trying to cause trouble sad Its a horrible thing to have knowledge of, but it wont end up in a good way for you.

sykadelic15 Mon 13-Jan-14 17:08:22

Have you tried to contact your dad and step-mother since you told them not to come around? Sounds like they've been waiting for you to tell them it's okay again.

As for the affair... you'll just be seen as a trouble maker. He's being unfair to your step-mum yes, but maybe she knows and hopes no-one else does.

You could MAYBE call her and tell her you were sorry to hear that they'd split up or that he'd left her for someone else and feign innocence about it. Without proof though you're just a trouble maker.

Even if you had proof you'd be best mailing it to her anonymously.

scarletwitch Tue 14-Jan-14 11:34:37

If you haven't been in contact with them for so long its a really bad idea to make the first contact you telling her her husband is having an affair. Your relationship will never recover.

Bobfish Wed 15-Jan-14 10:03:07

Thanks for your replies, we've given them chances to come in to our lives, heard nothing back from them!

I'm going to leave them to it, I'm not worried about our relationship never recovering, I'll never forgive him for his behaviour towards my son.

I ages that is only be telling her out of spite and I'm better than that. I'm sure it will come out in time as he's not being that careful......I found out!

Thanks again for helping me to see the right road xx

Bobfish Wed 15-Jan-14 10:03:40

Thanks for your replies, we've given them chances to come in to our lives, heard nothing back from them!

I'm going to leave them to it, I'm not worried about our relationship never recovering, I'll never forgive him for his behaviour towards my son.

I ages that is only be telling her out of spite and I'm better than that. I'm sure it will come out in time as he's not being that careful......I found out!

Thanks again for helping me to see the right road xx

Bobfish Wed 15-Jan-14 10:04:43

Silly phone typing!

I agree that I'd only ......!

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